Feel like I can't go on

[Tiredmummy14]

First time poster really just feeling at a total loss.

I have an 11-month-old daughter and while she's generally lovely when she's awake, she's a terrible sleeper. She was fine up until she got to about 6 months and then it all went out the window. I've had about 3 weeks of her only napping on me or my husband. She's up all through the night for feeds and sometimes won't go back in the cot after. I get absolutely no time to myself and no time with my husband. I feel like I hate being a mother and if I could undo having her I would. I've been so low I feel suicidal at times. I'm seeing a therapist but it doesn't feel like enough. I just want this to be over. Everyone told me the hoys of parenthood would outweigh the hard stuff but I don't feel like they do. Most days I just want to get in the car and never come back. I feel like I don't exist anymore, as though beyond her needs, my life means nothing. I don't even know why I'm posting, beyond feeling like I need to reach out in some way...

Please say this gets easier??

It's does and will get easier. I totally understand how hard things must be for you but please please don't give up hope.

Please reach out to someone in real life and let them know how low you are feeling. Speak to your health visitor, your GP, your councillor too.

Sending you a big hug 💗

Hey, I'm so sorry you're feeling so low.. my son was a terrible sleeper too and I've felt all the rage believe me.

I also found that I wasn't enjoying it as much as my friends and family did when they had babies. I felt very much trapped and alone and struggled with everything. So you're not alone. Parenting is Fucking hard and even harder when you're exhausted.

But I promise you it really really does get better. Try and remind yourself in the worst times that the sleep thing is just temporary... that really helped me when I was in the pits of hell to feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you know why she isn't sleeping well? What time do you give her 'dinner', I find my three slept badly when hungry. I was so clueless I was giving my ds his dinner at 3 and wondering why he wasn't sleeping well.

Do you get any support from your dh?

Thanks for responding - was just having a little cry to myself. Even just reading a reply from a stranger to say they've been there too is so helpful.

My DH is great with her and so patient with me. He's working 9-5 though (from home, thank god!) and I feel awful having to ask him to break off to help me because he then has to make up the time in the evenings and ends up going to bed really late. We live far away from our families, though both sets of parents have helped out when they can. It just feels like I'm stuck in a groundhog Day at the moment.

I give her dinner at 4:30 (she's a very slow eater!) and usually finishes about 5:15 then it's bath and bed by 6/6:30...though tonight she didn't go down til nearly 8pm she's not great with her solids tbh, will currently only eat if she can do it herself (won't take anything from a spoon) and then she's picky about which finger foods she'll eat. So I think when she's looking for feeds she's genuinely hungry in the night, but I can't seem to get enough calories into her in the daytime!

Try yogurt and maybe wheatabix or porridge just before bed. Also bananas are good for helping them sleep too. If you have to make it a little sweet to tempt her to eat it then I would absolutely do it.

You're really not alone and so glad your dh is there to help. If you could take it in turns for a lay in on the weekend that might help too.

I guess this years been really hard for new parents as the usual activities have been off the cards.