I've noticed that I'm getting more insecure as I'm getting older, and I'd like some advice about how to fix it!!
I've always been a little bit crap at socialising, particularly in groups. I've always been nervous in large groups and find myself shutting down, sometimes visibly shaking and occasionally stuttering my words. Sometimes i'm great at socialising too, and those times you wouldn't notice I get anxiety etc.
I have always felt that although I get anxious, I have always been confident in myself and knew myself. I would go home from socialising terribly and laugh to myself and my partner about it, because o just accepted that I wasn't great at it and if I made a fool of myself, it would be a funny story to tell my friends etc. However, I am now 31 and have had 2 little girls (1&3). Suddenly I find myself dissecting my behaviour at social events. I think through every thing I've said, how I said it, how someone was looking at me as I said it. I go home and could just die at the thought of how shit I've been around people.
I suddenly find that I'm so worried about people judging me ALL THE TIME. I worry about what I'm wearing in case I look shit. I go in to work and my team are very jokey, and will take the piss out of what Im wearing every day (they take the piss out of the entire team, so it's not just me) and it is just a joke, but I just find myself trying to wear really bland clothes so there is nothing to comment on. I worry my hair looks crap. I worry about the impression I give off all the time.
I'm so sick of feeling insecure. I have never felt this way in my life despite being quite an anxious person. Any tips on how to stop feeling like this?