Weekend loneliness

[JT1994]

Hi, I’m in my late 20s, single and all my friends are in long term relationships. I’ve always worked shift jobs and not had many fullweekends off, but have just started a Monday to Friday job and I’m struggling with weekend loneliness. A few weeks ago my social life seemed to be better than ever but it’s stagnated the last few weeks and I’ve been spending weekends alone and getting down about it, feeling like a loser, that I’m nobody’s priority and just pretty depressed. It’s frustrating because I like time alone, I’ve travelled multiple countries alone, been on short holidays alone etc. I want to be able to cope with these weekends alone without crying or feeling any resentment to my friends for having better things to do than see me (I know this is normal for them and they’re not doing wrong but it’s hard when they just don’t understand how it feels cos they’ve always been in relationships or single when everyone else was)

I’d love to find someone myself but that’s also so difficult, dating apps are a drag and it feels like it’s so hard to meet people in person now.

How can I get back to happiness when I’m alone and not be disappointed when it comes to the weekend and I have no plans except to walk the dog?

Make other plans. It won't be too long before your friends start having children, and then meet up gets to be even more challenging for a few years (it starts getting better once the children are older and need less stuff.)

It shouldn't be too long before there's a wider option of things to do - museums and art galleries will be reopen, and other things. It's great to catch up with people, but you can't just rely on others to entertain yourself. I always have things to do when I'm alone and these days, I can struggle to find times to meet people, because of evening classes, swimming, yoga,voluntary stuff and so on. There are things you can do where you will meet others as a result - maybe a new sport, or volunteering for scrub clearance with your local wildlife trust or something. These things will start opening up again.

Yes, it's frustrating when you're not anyone's priority, but it doesn't help you to dwell on it all the time, and others don't really care, because you're not their priority... Many people will envy those of us who can travel alone without having to take someone else's wishes into consideration. I have one friend who thinks I am amazing because I have been on holiday alone (many times) - something they don't have the confidence to do, so they just don't go, if they have to be alone. To me, it's daft to miss out on things for that reason.

When you meet someone, it needs to be because you want to be with them, not because you don't want to be alone. You need to be comfortable being in your own company as well as with others. And then you'll meet somewhen you're busy with other stuff.

I think you need to find things to occupy your time as PP says whether that be doing the things alone that you enjoy, doing productive things like taking up a hobby or using the time to organise things around the house or trying to include some kind of social interaction each weekend such as a call to a friend or family member or a short walk if you can do it.

It's difficult if you feel that way but I imagine it won't be forever.

I was wondering if we could revive this thread?

I'm late 30s and I've had a really tough time for the past decade but in particular in the last couple of years.

I'm so self-sufficient to the point I'm having a child on my own via ivf and sperm donor as I'd realised if I don't actually try and do this now, I'd be single and childless and just even more isolated and alone. I think the Op wants meaningful connections, rather than an endless supply of time filler activities. They are good as an interim solution, but spending weekend after weekend by yourself, doing random activities isn't fulfilling - I've tried it and it just bored me in the end.

I'm not sure what the answer is, making true friends is hard and takes time, meeting a partner is also difficult and not a solution to the problem. I think being a part of community whatever that is and no, jot online, like a real, genuine community where people prioritise each other would be ideal, but where is this?! Other than that, spending time with family, if you're fortunate to have them nearby and get on with them.

You are ur own priority and a relationship may not necessarily fix that. U should aways be ur own priority even after u have kids because u need to well and happy enough to be the best parent possible.

For now make the most of ur time. Maybe when u go out alone u might even meet Mr right by chance!
I think if I lived alone I'd get take outs binge watch Netflix, hav baths, exercise loads, I would online date and video date too. I'd cook and invite people over. Do u have any single friends ? Maybe u need to make some single friends who are similar to u that way u can enjoy a better time.

I appreciate the advice however binging on Netflix gets tedious after a fortnight maximum, I'd say a week. Same with bubble baths, is that something women in couple's occupy their time with?! It's a very passive activity it just gets incredibly boring. I can't exercise loads I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I don't really want to online date (as pregnant) but even before that online dating was soul destroying...worse than being alone at the weekends. I'm 40 and currently pregnant I mean what single friends could I be making? I didn't even make any when I wasn't pregnant (I've been in my current city 4 years) I have a good job and own my own home it's just so lonely and isolating. I have a couple of friends (one is in a relationship so don't see her often as weekends are for her partner), the other friend is available and good at arranging to meet up, but I'm trying not to apply too much pressure on him.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Sorry I must've missed that ur pregnant.
Well that's amazing. I'd just be focusing on that and taking good care of urself..life is about to get very busy post pregnancy. I do wish u all the best.
Sorry my suggestions were pretty much useless it is really hard to put myself in ur shoes and ur probably right Netflix and bubble baths can get excessive when done too often!