Hello,
I’ve been generally anxious for as long as I can remember, I’m pretty sure this relates to my childhood (parents divorce etc). Since I had my children (now 11 & 7) this has been heightened. I am terrified of something happening to them or me. I have attended for CBT which helped for some time. I work full time in a high stress job (community mental health nurse). I have a partner who tries to understand & is supportive but struggles. Over the past few months we have moved house, we had covid (my partner is immunocompromised) I am so grateful & feel so lucky that we came through it okay. Around the same time my brother aged 30 who I am very close to has been diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer, it is treatable. Work has been stressful continuously & I try to give 100%, I am proud of my job & feel I do my best but I am really struggling to find balance in my life, I feel constant guilt that I’m working & when the weekend comes although I try I’m tired & the kids know this. My son has developed a stutter & although I know this can happen I feel it must be my fault. My anxiety has peaked since we moved & I have felt low, panicky, tearful a lot. A few days ago I felt a rush of warmth through my body & as though I might die, I felt abit disconnected from my body & since then I have felt a variety of physical symptoms such as weakness in my arms, as though I might collapse (I haven’t) headaches almost daily, mild chest pain & shortness of breath (oxygen sats are fine). I have consulted my GP who thinks it’s anxiety related. I have a history of health anxiety too. I guess I feel ashamed that I am not coping well especially with my job, I feel that I should be doing better & should recognise the symptoms/know what to do but I feel very worried at the moment. Can anybody relate or help with any advice please? I should add I have used alcohol to cope in the past (up to a bottle of wine a night) but not for some time, initially the abstinence helped but now I feel I’ve really got to face my anxiety not mask it & it’s hard.
Thank you in advance.