I have my wedding coming up in September this year. I really want it to be a special memorable day with no negativity.
To cut a long story short my dad got remarried when I was 5. My (then) step mum ruined my childhood with emotional abuse. She was also a complete psycho and use to call the police on people (including my grandma) if they challenged her behaviour (acting the victim and causing them of violence). She also regularly told me I was not wanted there when I use to visit my dad and use to tell me I was fat and scum. Very evil woman. Led me to years of eating disorders and anxiety.
She had a child with my dad. He got divorced from her a few years later and the child became as evil as her. By the age of 6 he was laughing at my grandma's cancer, wishing death upon the grandparents, saying more cruel things about my weight etc. Sadly my brother (who is now 18) is just like his mother.
He very recently called the police on my dad and he ended up with an injunction.
The issue is my dad never stood up for me or his family through all this and still continues to let my brother speak to and treat people like dirt. He lives in fear of him and his ex wife. I have tried to speak to my dad about how its affected me on many occasions but he doesn't want to talk about it. He is probably dealing with his own issues from the marriage to her. I still do see my dad and have a relationship with him but we aren't super close like me and my mum.
Given the fact I have 0 relationship with my brother, he hasn't bothered to contact me for 4 years, despite me sending birthday and Christmas cards. Am I obliged to invite him?
Would it be the worst thing In the world to put my foot down and tell my dad I don't want him there?
I have had a few comments off family saying 'you should invite him he is your brother.'
Just looking at him brings back trauma. No amount of counselling and therapy has resolved it to date. I am worried it might bring back pain on my special day.
Any advice is appreciated xx