Tapering down on sertraline

[wombatsandaplant]

I feel awful, I just missed both dogs vet appointments for vaccinations and I can’t stop crying.

I am reducing the sertraline 50mg every two weeks, only started on Wednesday, so three days of being on 150mg. We’re going to try another anti depressant, see if another will work better.

I don’t know whether it’s that or I’m just having an off day. But god I feel so useless and pathetic.

I just want to self harm and curl up and hide. I dunno.

@wombatsandaplant didn't want to read and run. I am surprised your doctor is following this path. There are published cross-tapering schedules which doctors use to change antidepressants. Basically, you take two different antidepressants and as the dose of the original drug goes down, the dose of the new drug goes up. Reducing one just by itself is very hard. What is your doctor planning to put you on instead of sertraline?

@Iamnotmad to be quite honest I have no clue what we’re trying next or why he’s doing it this way. He’s not the most open of psychiatrists. I am on two anti depressants so maybe that is why he’s reducing one and not adding in another yet. I dunno.

Ah right, I understand that's more complicated. Reducing antidepressants is hard, I have been going through it myself since last September. I was weepy and emotional.

Reading this makes me think of me in the future! I am also on sertraline and thinking of tapering it down at some point. It's crap isn't it? I hate feeling so dependent on medication and all the stigma of mental health problems, but we can do this!
I do think it might be a bit quick for you, could you talk to your psychiatrist?

I kind of want it done quickly so I can get on another one asap.

There’s no point talking to the psychiatrist as I wouldn’t be able to get an appointment for like 2 weeks anyway.

I just feel a bit despondent with the whole thing. I don’t really see the fucking point anymore.

Because you're changing medication it's a time of turmoil and won't be easy. Try to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel each thing.

All of the above, plus please don’t beat yourself up about the vet appointment. Your dogs will come to no harm at all waiting a little longer for their vaccinations. During lockdown, my own vet delayed my pet’s jabs by three months over the due date and said that they remained effective for that long.
I think you have just focused on the missed appointment as a “proof” of your belief that you are a failure- but that critical voice in your head is just the depression talking, not you.
You will come through this. The change of medication will eventually help, and in the meantime be kind to yourself. Practise saying three kind and positive things to yourself each day as reinforcement. When you find you are criticising yourself and saying you are worthless, use a cognitive stop - a firm “No” to the negative thoughts, and replace them with one of your three positive things. It’s a small step, but repetition does make a difference in dialling down the negative thoughts generated by the depression.