Not sure what can help

[Lcw29]

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I'm a stay at home mum and have always suffered with depression and anxiety. However the last month I feel things have changed. I don't want to do mummying every day. I'm finding it hard to engage with my boys. I don't want to play and constantly answer questions, deal with tantrums and pretend to be enthusiastic and happy. I'm not enjoying it yet I want to. I feel I'm just cleaning and feeding them and nothing else. I'm tired from lack of sleep. I'm frustrated and irritable. I feel alone yet I'm never on my own. I want to get away. I'm even doing CBT but I don't have the time to do the exercises which makes me feel more of a failure . I dread every day. It's all the same and I'm bored of being stuck at home. I'm just not feeling happy at all.

All this fills me with guilt as I love my family but I feel I've hit breaking point and don't know what to do.

I'm b

I was here not long ago. Have you tried medication? Or getting childcare/ help so you can have some time to yourself. Even just a few hours a week? Sleep deprivation is one of the main reasons I get run down.

Hiya, I am on citalopram at the highest dose. Not sure if its working though. It used to. My oldest starts nursery in September but we can't really afford childcare before then. I think it doesn't help with covid as I can't get out and do things to break up the day. I feel I should speak to the doctor again but when I do its like I dont know what to say

Yes I’d speak to your doctor maybe try something new. I started setraline again (i was on it a few years ago) and found I had no side effects and felt better within a week. Wish I’d started them sooner. Do you have any relatives that can help? I’ve been going to parks mainly during the day. And doing the garden up to keep busy. And a lot of movies 😂

My mum does help now and then but I've just felt so bad I almost need help every day at the moment. What doesn't help is that I have a health condition that gets worse if I'm tired. And my youngest is disturbing me almost every hour at night then waking anytime from 4am. I'm exhausted

I would ask my mum to look after one for the weekend and my mother in law the other but with covid it's made it alot more difficult to have a break.

I feel guilty about having the tv on all the time too. I feel I should be more pro active with the boys but I never know what to do as I'm knackered lol

I'm going to try and speak to the doctor though