More time off work for MH. Feel like a failure.

[MrsCremuel]

Had to take today off work for anxiety and depression. Took a week off in January and started sertraline but decided to come off them as I found out I was pregnant.

As the world opens up I am exposed to more and more social triggers and a family meet up this weekend really set me off. Have been finding it hard to keep on top of work with the anxiety and depression and had another meltdown where I couldn’t stop crying.

Have just started CBT and May go back on the meds. Not sure what I’m asking for by posting in here really. Just feeling like such a failure.

I suppose what I would like to hear is if you have struggled with anxiety and depression and came through the other side, what did you do and how are you now?

Bump

I had a huge anxiety breakdown in January. It descended on me suddenly and was completely crippling. I had 5 weeks off during which I started fluoxetine. Things gradually righted themselves and I’ve been back at work since late February. Not 100% but much, much better.
Hang in there. You aren’t a failure in any way, any more than if you had a physical illness.

@Phyllis321 thank you for replying. It’s good hear that medication has helped! I’ve been feeling so hopeless about things improving. I’m going to try and get an appointment with the GP tomorrow, maybe medication will help me at least get to a stage where I am coping.

Taking a week off here and a day off there for something as pervasive as anxiety and depression is really not of benefit to anyone. For you, it’s like putting a sticking plaster on an amputated limb and, yes, you only feel worse for taking multiple sickness absences; for your employer, they have an inconsistent employee who is in and out like a fiddler’s elbow and, really, is the quality of your work between bouts of absence really up to scratch if you’re acutely unwell?

Get yourself signed off for at least a month to allow time for meds to work and try some self-help while waiting for something like an IAPT appointment - there’s a million CBT apps and websites out there and I can strongly recommend Headspace as a great meditation app which has specific courses for multiple issues including anxiety and depression.

Take care OP

Also - was on Sertraline through both of my pregnancies and have two very healthy boys. The risk to the foetus (and eventual baby) of a mentally ill mother is greater than the risk of the treating meds. Hopefully your GP can give you reassurance about this.

Sorry to hear you are struggling OP. I don't want to give you advice, as for me there is no 'right answer' to deal with this. Just know that many, many of us deal with anxiety and depression and we are still here dealing with it. You're not alone.

I've just had 4 months off work due to crippling anxiety it totally controlled my life
I tried plenty meds but they didn't suit me I ended up paying for private CBT and it's helped me tremendously
Please don't feel like a failure be kind to yourself just because anxiety isn't visible doesn't mean its any less serious

I took Sertraline and did an awful lot of CBT and it is now, four years from starting Sertraline and recently stopped; I can appreciate the CBT.

I regret delaying Sertraline in my second pregnancy and until four months postnatal. I couldn’t benefit from CBT until I was steady on medication and my mood definitely impacted my baby son, he’s four now and I guess it could just be personality but I do think my antenatal and postnatal depression has impacted him long term.

I took Sertraline throughout my third pregnancy and that was a far better experience.
Personally I’m a big fan of stabilising on medication and accessing CBT/ACT etc and expecting it to be long term. Depression/anxiety are chronic illnesses and most people will need to see them as a permanent condition and they need to work to stay as well as possible.

Appreciating my own limits has also been important but that came with time and a better understanding of my own triggers.

Be kind to yourself, you are ill, not lazy or unreliable or useless or any of the things your brain is telling you.