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Mental health

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Everything is just on top of me

3 replies

LynnInAVan · 20/04/2021 02:43

I don’t know what to do but I feel like I’ve failed at life. Divorce came through last week, and like everything that hurts I just shove it away and pretend it never hurt at all. I have a job that I like but I’m constantly convinced they will suddenly hate me. I started a postgrad qual and it’s giving me so much anxiety and has completely raced my fear of failure.... with my children to take care of there’s no way I can give it the full attention it needs so everything’s a scrape through and it’s battering my self esteem. Speaking to someone tonight has made me realise I somehow need to get comfortable just being me, without the bells and whistles and extra activities etc. I think I try to gloss over everything I feel I’ve failed at, then if that doesn’t go right I can’t really cope. Anxiety is becoming very physical with stomach upsets, hot and cold temps, feeling very tearful. I just want to lock the world away and pretend none of it exists, just relax and be with my children and not feel so much pressure. I’m not sure what I want from this post, but I haven’t slept for two nights and I’m sCared and alone.

OP posts:
spikyplants2021 · 20/04/2021 02:54

I'm awake with insomnia. So sleep deprivation is the worst , give it a sleep and a day and you will feel clearer. The divorce coming through will bring up different emotions. Have you thought about some counselling? Flowers

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 20/04/2021 03:15

Divorce is horrible and really goes for your confidence. Unfortunately I speak from experience. It sounds like you have a bit of “imposter syndrome” at work, many people do. I second counselling to try and work out what your best next step is. Can you put the postgrad qualification on pause at all? We are in a pandemic still and you’ve been under extra stress with the divorce, it sounds like you are feeling instinctively that you just want to spend more time with your kids and reduce the stress on you which sounds like a good plan!

LynnInAVan · 20/04/2021 03:24

Thank you so much for replying, feeling less alone is nicer.... I’m going to see about pausing my course. I need a break and some headspace and time off.
I had counselling through the breakup but not since. I think because it was my instigation I feel like I can’t seek support to process the divorce bit. I’m glad it’s all done now but somehow it’s exposed something in my self esteem and confidence that’s really quite damaged

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