Parent introducing cbt to young adult child

[DoNotBringLulu]

I am just wondering if anybody can advise?

My 18 year old ds has anxiety which brings on low mood. Awful 1st year at university and he is anxious about going back - social anxiety mainly, he is doing well academically.

He won't access counselling or see doctor. Will only talk to me when he's at university.

Thanks in advance.

Sorry I haven't got experience but when I was looking for online CBT for myself I did see a few that were aimed at Teens.

My son has accessed a free CBT NHS online course with a counsellor. They message each other. That might be worth a look.

There's also MoodGym which I've used before and is a really good grounding in CBT techniques. Free online course you work through at your own pace (not interactive afaik). Maybe he could try this first and then if he was interested he could do the six weeks with a CBT counsellor too.

I feel for him, for lal of them. DS also had a horrendous first year at uni and has just gone back and is struggling. It would have been hard for him anyway, I know that. But the complete lack of organised interactive societies and ice breakers leaves the quieter, shyer ones completely at a loss.

My daughter has been in the same situation - an awful first year at university. She is also struggling with social anxiety. We tried various counsellors but she didn't like talking therapy. She has self referred through the NHS for online CBT. I'm not sure how much good it's doing but she does like it. It's all online and no talking required. It's been a bloody awful year for our teenagers and young adults. Please PM me if you need any more details.

@DoNotBringLulu and @myhairygoat - I am so sorry for your teens. It is horrific what they have gone through. I don't think many people understand quite how disorientating and isolating it has been for them, including their own uni staff.

Thank you MyHairyGoat and Cowbells* I am so pleased for the recommendations - this may sound strange but I am about to write out a letter and give it to him suggesting the NHS online CBT, carefully worded.

Yesterday evening he spoke to me briefly and said he has been unlucky and hasn't enjoyed any educational experience. It's gone a bit wrong with housemates dynamics have changed and he feels like an outsider, very lonely. He said he has taken on board my suggestion of trying societies.

I messed it up and challenged him instead of just supporting him and he said I was 'arguing' he just wants understanding from me. He is in his room now I assume studying. I'll take a cup of tea up in a minute to see how he is. He can go back to uni but is refusing to do so, missing his practical work.

What are his reasons for not wanting to try counselling?

A lot of the time with teens it's all about how it's framed. If he thinks it's a medical intervention then you'll probably get a hard no. If it's just about having his own space to vent then he might be more open to it. Parents aren't always the best people to speak to as they are too close. It can be good to speak to a stranger.

Frame is as just talking and try to be as chilled and relaxed about it as you can. The bigger deal you make of it, the more he will push it back.

Thanks for reply nancy I am very tired myself and agree I am not the best person badly needs someone else not so close.