Feeling low

[ValleysGirl72]

Hi, just a bit of a moan I think.

A few times over the past few weeks, I`ve just wanted to sit down and cry!

I`m not normally an overly emotional person but I have been having my low days.

Im fine when Im at work as have have plenty of distractions going on, but I`m starting to dread going home.

DH has been working from home since forever, he`s back on site Wednesday and Thursday.

The DC have their own lives, even though they all still live at home. DSs work full time, DD has MH issues (anxiety/depression) so she has her good days and not so good days.

Sometimes I just feel so alone. My shoulders have really been aching over the past few weeks and it`s down to stress.

I think the reason Im feeling a bit low this week is that it would have been my brothers birthday yesterday (11th), he passed away 11 years ago, and it would have been my mother`s birthday tomorrow (13th) and she passed away just over 3 years ago.

This year hasn`t started brilliantly, I lost my b-i-l to Covid on NYE and almost lost my sister too, thankfully she survived but she was hospitalised for 8 weeks, and is now on the road to recovery.

I know everyone is struggling with the Covid restrictions and at least Im not at home M-F as Im working as I have done throughout the pandemic.

Im already taking Citalopram, 40 mg once a day. Apparently thats the highest dose that can be prescribed. Tbh Im not sure that I want to change my medication, ideally Id like to come of it.

Congratulations if you`ve managed to get this far, and also apologies if I have bored you to tears!

I’m really sorry you’re feeling like you are and you’ve lost so many people close to you.
I’m not sure how much help I can offer but you sound so down I wanted to respond. The last year has been really hard and it sounds as though the people around you are busy with their own lives. Are there things you want to do for you? Or things you used to enjoy that for what ever reason stopped doing that you could go back to?
Have you thought about some counselling? It can be a good way to work out where you are and what you’d like to do next. I wish I could help more and hope others respond soon, take care.

@July56, many thanks for your reply. Driving into work this morning I felt a bit tearful, then when I parked up I had a bit of a cry. Still feeling a little tearful now.

I could speak to Occ Health about counselling, but the waiting list is so long! I may ring the chaplain and arrange a meeting with him, it seemed to help last time.

I don`t know why I feel so alone ….?

I used to enjoy going to the gym, but with the Covid restrictions, returning isnt going to happen any time soon! Plus of course, theres the cost!

I will look in to returning to the gym, even if it`s only using the treadmill or exercise bike, just need to find some motivation!

Thank you July, you seemed to have helped me get a better perspective on things xx

Sorry to hear this OP. I think a lot of ppl are feeling similarly after dealing with a year of low grade Covid stress. The anniversaries and the death of you BIL are of course going to cause you sadness. I would second recommending counselling, it can make a huge difference. Try to get out and get some fresh air and exercise if you can. If you are feeling alone are there any friends or family that you could connect with? Meeting ppl you love in person can make a huge difference.

Hi I think when you’re feeling down or depressed and the world is carrying on around you it can feel very isolating and lonely. People either not realising or understanding how you feel just adds to it. I find the good weather and some of lockdown easing that everyone around me is so excited and are planning things. Because I’m pretty depressed I feel bad that I don’t feel the same way and that how I feel is wrong.
If you’ve got a really good friend you can open up to or even just go for a walk with and mention a little of how you feel it can help.
Take care x