I think I need help

[PanPeter]

I had a baby a little over a week ago. With my first I had PND quite badly and didn’t seek help for a while. Eventually after seeking help I got put on citalopram and felt much better after the dose had settled.

This time round I cannot stop the guilt that I’m doing everything wrong, letting my first DC down and have some regrets from when my 1st DC was little, things I didn’t do with them etc.

It’s consuming me and I’m crying all the time, and just feel awful. Does this guilt ever stop? Or is this a sign that PND has returned again? Are these feelings completely normal?! I really just need help

I think it's very possible that it's PND. you're not letting your first born down, and you didn't back then. You did the best you could with the resources you had available at the time. And that's fine! Can you talk to your GP?

I will be making an appointment tomorrow morning, I’m also seeing the midwife on Wed for my last appointment so will discuss it with her then. I just feel awful right now and hopeless at a time I should be enjoying my newborn

That’s good to get help early and being aware of it (whether it is diagnosed or not). I found going from 1 to 2 kids harder than being first time mum. I hope you get the support and help you need.

The thing is, you've been through it so you know that those feelings aren't based in any fact. Of course that doesn't mean those feelings aren't real to you but it's an illness, and it tells you youre shit despite all evidence to the contrary. I bet you're a bloody brilliant mum.