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I am not the same person I was

9 replies

Jenasaurus · 02/04/2021 15:00

I used to be a happy go lucky person, commited to spending time with my friends and family. Enjoyed my job, ate well, exercised and basically had a positive attitude.

My grown up DC have all now at some point over the last few weeks showed concern about me and my behaviour. Today for example, my Children and their partners are meeting up for a walk, there are 6 of them so I couldnt go along as well, my middle son called me and said that his GF wasnt able to go and please could I join them, but in my head I thought they wont want an old woman tagging along, and I have no clothes that fit me anymore, my shoes give me blisters when I walk and I would drag them down so declined. I used the pretence that as I has my second vaccine yesterday that I was feeling under the weather. My DS saw through this and said, meet just me and the dog for a seperate walk them mum. I declinned again as my DD has a delivery coming today (true) so in the end he gave up.

They have all gone out and I looked around my flat, the place is a tip, washing up on the side, dirty laundry spilling out of the laundry bin, kitchen needs a deep clean, bath is blocked and needs to be sorted, i havent even bleached the toilet. I have worn the same PJs for a week and barely can be bothered to wash or clean my teeth. This isnt who I was. Is this lockdown or is this a MH issue brought about by something else. I ended a replationship just before lockdown and everyone else I know is paired up, I am happy being single but often feel not included in things because I am a solo. I was looking at booking a holiday in the UK for when this is over, then realised I have no one to go away with. I can take my DC but they have their own lives and I feel I drag them down if I tag along. I could go alone if I was going abroad but renting a caravan or a holiday cottage for one in the UK seems so sad.

Sorry for the moan, just on a downer today.

OP posts:
CrispsnDips · 03/04/2021 08:41

I am so sorry to read you are having a tough time...sending 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 and hoping that each day you can take one tiny step, one small change towards that person you used to be.

Eekay · 03/04/2021 08:51

I think you sound depressed. You're neglecting yourself, avoiding loved ones and feeling overwhelmed by day to day tasks.
It could well be that lockdown has given your mental health a bashing. There are women all over MN who've been posting about that.
But whether it's lockdown or other reasons, the fact is that you know something's up.
Maybe a GP appointment could be a good idea. And try to confide in someone. Your son sounds very caring and a bit concerned so he would probably be glad to talk.

Jenasaurus · 03/04/2021 12:07

@Eekay

I think you sound depressed. You're neglecting yourself, avoiding loved ones and feeling overwhelmed by day to day tasks. It could well be that lockdown has given your mental health a bashing. There are women all over MN who've been posting about that. But whether it's lockdown or other reasons, the fact is that you know something's up. Maybe a GP appointment could be a good idea. And try to confide in someone. Your son sounds very caring and a bit concerned so he would probably be glad to talk.
Thanks for responding, yesterday after the walk my other son popped over after his walk, and helped me clean the flat, he was brilliant and we then got a take away and watched a film. Felt a lot better, but I guess I did break the rules to see him, but he said he was worried about me not seeing anyone. I am going to make an effort to get more involved and say yes to things rather than hide away. Starting with a bath and a bit of a pamper x
OP posts:
CrispsnDips · 04/04/2021 08:58

Sounds like a really good plan, that’s brilliant news!

sugarlost · 04/04/2021 14:14

That's nice your other son came over for support and you had a nice day. It's good to make plans to help us with motivation. The Lockdown had affected many people's mental health.
I also think it's a good idea to book an appointment with your GP.
Everymindmatters website/nhs is good.

FlowersBrewCake

GodsPersonalAssistant · 06/04/2021 07:38

Hi @Jenasaurus, how are you today?

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 06/04/2021 08:48

Hey! Well done OP! I was going to say to call your ds back and jump in the shower then go for that walk. But you did something good in any case.

Sounds like you raised some excellent kids. Can I suggest you stay open to your lovely son, let him know you recognise what he is worried about and ask his help to do a walk together once a week to refesh and reload? Start there. I find that keeping things simple and being open with people I trust and staying close to the ones I love while I struggle out of the pit does the trick.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 06/04/2021 08:50

And just to say, you are still very much you. Just a bit unwell but you are still there and still the same person.

SandysMam · 06/04/2021 09:08

I feel the same sometimes OP, I withdraw from people because I think they can’t possibly want me around! But you are their Mum! They will love being with you! Sounds like you did really good yesterday, little steps and hopefully soon you will feel better...and sod the rules! Wishing you well OP Flowers

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