Mother and Baby Units

[allthesharks]

I'm being referred to a Mother and Baby Unit because I've got severe PND and I just can't cope. Has anyone been in one? And if so, what was it like? I know I need to do this to get better but I'm also really scared.

Thank you all so much. I feel a bit emotional hearing that strangers are proud of me.

I'm in one of the units that was on the Louis Theroux programme. I watched it last week when I heard I might be coming here to get a feel for what it might be like.

DS has just fallen asleep while I cuddle him. He was quite unsettled until he had a decent nap this afternoon and then he was much happier. He cries every time I step away which is awful to hear, but it's also a sign of healthy attachment to his main caregiver so I must have been doing something right up to now.

I'm going to try reading a bit this evening and maybe get an early night. Tomorrow I have a meeting with everyone involved in my care. My partner is able to join via Teams so he'll be doing that as I think it's vital to have him involved too.

Sending you lots of love

Please be gentle with yourself xxx

Hope you're feeling okay today and just take one day at a time.

You're doing great x

As others have said, try and get as much rest and relaxation as you can. It will make you feel so much better.Even though you are there as a voluntary patient, there will be restrictions around things that you could possibly use to self harm ..don’t be alarmed, it is standard practice to restrict them for everyone.

You have done the best thing by going to the unit...they will support you to get better . Much love x

My friend did this, she was post natal psychotic. It was hard and scary. But they were lovely and helped her get on the right drugs and keep her baby close. It was hard times, but all for the best. They are a happy family now and their son is 8. Good luck with working through it. It's not forever. Xx

Sending love to you OP and a massive pat on the back for prioritising your mental health. Your children are very lucky to have a mother that cares so much. Please be kind to yourself whilst you heal and get better. I wasn’t admitted to a MBU but I did have very bad postnatal depression with my son. To the point where I couldn’t see a way out. Luckily (like you) I sought help and felt much better by the time he turned one. A few things that helped me that may help you -

The happiness trap (book)
Sarah Blondin meditations (every day)
Rescue remedy (totally underestimated!)
Breath work (wim hof) the power of breath again I think is hugely underestimated
One friend that you feel comfortable sharing everything with and I mean everything
Hormone levels checked (may show that you have an imbalance which could also help you understand more as to why this is happening)
Anything either Karen kleiman (books, audios, podcasts)

I could go on, but the above have really helped me recover. X

Thinking of you. I hope baby has slept a bit better the last 3 nights. Have you settled in a bit more?

Thinking of you. I’m proud of you, to take that step into the unit must have been terrifying. Hoping things are improving xx

Sorry for not updating sooner.

We're both fully settled in to the unit now. It has been up and down, but prior to going in I was dreading every day but now I'm actually having some good days.

I had something of a breakthrough which was devastating at the time but ultimately a positive step, where I realised that nothing anyone else says or does is going to change how I feel, because I feel the way I do because I'm unwell. I had been getting annoyed at my partner for not "making it better" but I realise now that he can't.

I've also realised that the traumatic experiences I've been through underpin everything. I've in a state of hyper-vigilance constantly waiting for the next thing to go wrong and that is exhausting. It also means that I pick things apart and find issues where there are none to try to rationalise the way that I feel. My anxiety has been very high this past week but I'm trying to tell myself that it's just a feeling and to try to ride it out.

They're also changing my medication which I feel is a very positive move as I've been taking one of my medications for 10 years and I've said to my GP multiple times that I don't feel it's effective anymore. Being in the unit is the place to change medication as it can be done far more rapidly as I'm being monitored and help is always on hand.

In summary, things are looking more positive. There's still a way to go and I will be meeting with the psychologist to talk through the trauma. But, for the first time in a very long time, I have hope and that is exhilarating.

OP - your update is really hopeful and good to hear. I was pregnant when I posted originally and I'm now 2 weeks post partum and can relate to you so much. I'm really struggling with post partum anxiety, depression and with intrusive thoughts - I've become almost convinced that my baby is unwell, which is made worse by a hospital admission at 8 days as baby's cord was infected. I'm now overthinking and obsessing over everything, he's slept too much, he's been sick, he's got some spots, etc. My husband is really level headed thank goodness but oh my god, this is so much harder mentally than I could have ever anticipated.

You should be really proud of yourself for being brave enough to take the time to get better for yourself and your children. Your baby clearly is very attached so you must be doing a fab job, even if you don't know it. May you get well soon Mama x

I thought I should update that I have now left the unit. I'm not officially discharged yet as I am on "leave" for a week with a discharge planned for next week.

To summarise my experience of a mother and baby unit, for anyone who may be looking for some advice for the future, I would say that it is generally positive. I did think that the treatment would be more intensive than it was. I had one psychology session a week, which didn't seem that much for an inpatient unit and only one very useful group each week. For me, as someone who didn't struggle with the bond with my baby and was able to meet his needs, I was expected to do everything for him, but I did have help on hand if I needed/wanted to attend a session or was particularly struggling. There were mums there who needed and got more intensive support with their babies. I think the main thing that the unit gave me was routine and a safety net. I do find it hard to admit when I'm struggling, but when I did the nurses were amazing. I couldn't even tell you what it was that they did, they just got me back to a point that I could manage again without me even realising it was happening. Sometimes it was quite slow and boring being there. As an informal patient I could come and go as I pleased for the most part, but I imagine that if you are sectioned then the boredom could be very hard. Also, having to isolate after overnight leave (because of covid) was difficult. Having to spend 24 hours in a room on your own isn't good for anyone's mental health. But, I am home and I am infinitely better than I was. My medication was changed, which can be done much more rapidly as an inpatient and that definitely seems to be helping. My overall advice to someone who may be facing a voluntary admission to a mother and baby unit is to do it, but be prepared to work hard. You have to commit to the advice they're offering you. Take books to read or other hobbies to pass the quieter moments. Talk to other mums - it is a refreshingly judgement free zone. The staff are remarkable and if you work with them you will make much progress before you know it. But make sure you have support outside of the unit as recovery goes much beyond discharge and you need people around you who understand that.