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Mental health

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Original poster

i feel so down today

42 replies

MrsMiaWallace · 31/10/2004 20:14

woke up after full nights sleep which is very rare in my house, feeling miserable, tired and totally fed up.
hate were i live (moved 'down' in march as im on sick with pnd), feel trapped as cant work cos of illness, dont have friends or family to look after dd, dp does very little for dd(he knows this, but never fulfills his intentions)only night out ive had since july 2003 was 2 hours at next door nieghbours body shop party..thats it, failed driving test, so still have to walk through this horrible area.
i know we moved here for financial reasons, but it really gets me down, im not a snob in any way (we lived just around corner in first house)but the people around here are happy to live on benefits and be continually pregnant by various men just to get more money for large gold earings and alcahol. sorry, its not there fault, im just so down.
i hate myself and i cant be bothered doing anything, didnt want to go out today, could have just crawled back into bed if i could have known dd would be ok.
been crying on and off all day, even when in back of car when dd fell asleep(dp did not notice)
am on fluoxitine but just mae me tired, so am gonna speak to doc, they also make me hungry(although that could just be a side effect of the depression)and have put on loads of weight, which makes me feel ugl.
im not looking for sympathy, i know there are people worse of than me. i just feel so worthless and numb.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 21:47

got a cpn coming regulary, homestart, starting to come and had counselling when i was younger because of my wonderful peodophile of a father. the h.v keeps wanting me to go back through that, but thats not the problem at min.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:02

saw on another thread you had your car bumped? are you ok? and hows your pass plus going?, i still cant get a cancellation for my test!!!

OP posts:

tammybear · 04/11/2004 22:03

no, its best not to talk about things that arent affecting you at the moment. suppose thats 1 problem with them trying to bring up your past

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:05

i know, my first health visitor brought it up from my pregnancy notes, and i hadnt even thought about it till then!!but its always on my mind lately but last thing i wanna do is dredge up all details with counseller, what can they do? turn the clocks back?

OP posts:

tammybear · 04/11/2004 22:05

took me 2 weeks before i got mine. oh and dont make the mistake i did, if you ring up for a cancellation and have one, and they say you need to check with your instructor that s/hes free, just take it! and force your instructor to have that time off if they dont. im fine. theres a dent in the drivers door, so will have garage look at it sat. hopefully wont cost too much! just typical though!

tammybear · 04/11/2004 22:08

i went to see a (shhhh sex theapist) and she brought up a lot of things from my past, and all i wanted to know was why i wasnt able to have it. didnt need her help in the end as me and dp have gotten over that problem Was so relieved when my AF started this morning, as weve both been a bit scared that i was preggy! But it is horrible when they talk about things that dont matter, and a lot of what came up i try not to think about as it is

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:10

dya ever feel like your invisible? posted on a couple of threads tonight and havent had any replys in all the time ive been on(apart from this one of course!)
am gunna stop coming on everynight as its taking over, and know i haven tbeen here for that long but no one even agreed! i dont want people to tell me not to, im not saying it for a response, just telling it like it is, but..oh never mind, maybe im just feeling this way today.
am going now tammybear, good look with passplus, hope car reapir isnt too pricy and hope alls going well with 'your family'?
take care
xxx

OP posts:

tammybear · 04/11/2004 22:16

u take care too. hope to see you around soon, or if you want you can email me from time to time on [email protected] if you dont come on here much. i find myself not being on here so much sometimes too. good luck with docs weds.

xxx

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:21

have wrote that down tb thanks. u take care
x

OP posts:

tammybear · 04/11/2004 22:35

good, but just remember if someone hasnt answered it's not because theyre ignoring you, maybe the thread just hasnt been looked at. i sometimes post but it doesnt bother me if noone responds to me as i know its nothing personal. ive been here since april and still wonder if im liked on here. hope things work out for you, and that you will come back on here sometime, or at least be in touch through email. xxx

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:37

will do tb, think im just feeling sorry for myself today, dissapointed cos i couldnt see doc and poor dd had a crap day, plus really do think it does my relationship no good sat on here every night, its struggling as it is, but then thats another story! never mind, speak to you soon and thanks again.
xx

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PuffTheMagicDragon · 04/11/2004 22:49

Hi MrsMia

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment.

Keep posting, someone will always be about, although they might not post immediately.

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 22:54

thanks, just feeling really low and when your like that, you take everything the wrong way and to heart, so im best off on my own for a while.

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MummyToSteven · 04/11/2004 23:00

hi mia, not been on MN for several hours as I somehow went to sleep this evening!

is your HV trying to get you to talk through the problems you had with your father, or trying to get you to get counselling for them. if its the first, then she is pretty unlikely to have the right training/experience to help you with this IMHO. earlier in the thread you discussed CBT with MIAM. I think that you might find this useful - it focuses more on how you think about what's going on in your life now, and you just touch on what's happened previously to give a context/history to the counsellor to your beliefs about yourself/relations with others, but doesn't dwell obsessively on past events, the way some types of counselling do.

sorry to hear that DD is feeling so rough.

i really really doubt that DD's virus is anything to do with food/eating. a lot of little one's are catching bugs atm with the onset of winter so it just sounds like a really, really nasty flu bug that is gastric as well. hope she feels better soon

take care
x

Original poster

MrsMiaWallace · 04/11/2004 23:01

thankyou mts
gunna go now as will probably be up with dd, so need some sleep.
maybe speak to you again sometime?

OP posts:

PuffTheMagicDragon · 04/11/2004 23:03

Know what you mean MrsMia - its that "you could knock me down with a feather" feeling.

I also sympathise with you problems re weight gain and fluoxetine.

MummyToSteven · 04/11/2004 23:05

am on MSN - [email protected]

hope you get some sleep tonight

that was an interesting comment about weight gain and fluoxetine. when I was on fluoxetine during PG i lost weight - but after the birth I have eaten like a pig and put on about a stone - which I just put down to feeling less depressed/comfort eating rather than the fluoxetine itself

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