Mental health first aid help

[IndigoJasmine]

I am really struggling today. Long history of depression/cyclothymia(bipolar3/complex trauma/anxiety/OCD. I have been on/off meds for nearly 20 years (not in the last 18months or so though). A lot of therapy and psychoeducation so usually I manage myself really well and have a lot of coping strategies.

I have recently moved house and everything has gone to pot. The new place needs a lot of work so we are just living in a few rooms. Nothing is done or nice or ‘right’, I can’t keep anything clean or tidy or organised. Everything is just a big mess physically and metaphorically. We both work very long hours so time to actually do big project stuff is limited and it’s going to take years before the house is ‘done’.

I am aware I am sinking quickly in terms of mental health and I don’t have any of my mental health first aid things to hand. I have a notebook with lists and ideas somewhere in a box I can’t find, because my mind can’t remember right now what to do to cope. So I wrote it all down when I was healthier. Now I need it and it’s packed in a box in a sea of boxes and no use. I’ve been trying to eat better and stuff but today haven’t actually managed to get out of bed until about half an hour ago.

So I was wondering if anyone who is currently in a better place could share what they do in these moments because I’m a bit stuck, and everything seems pointless or rubbish or futile, and I can’t remember what to do. I’m currently having a bath.

I have to go to work tomorrow. I know I’ll put my uniform on and act like a normal person during the day, that’s ok. But it’s inside and at home. I feel like a robot.

• Breathing to calm down
• Schedule my day including something to look forward to that is easy (usually movie in bed with one child at the end of the day)
• work out if there is actually a problem or just the feeling of one. Work out the whole scenario.
• Keep thoughts limited to just about today
• any worries that you can't stop thinking about, schedule a time to give them half an hour to think though. Let them go till scheduled worry time.
• change your scenery, out in nature, walk etc. The brain fires up and focuses with novelty.
• practice gratitude. Take 5 mins to list 5 things you are grateful for.
• phone friends/family to talk and hash things out.
• bring things back to basic goals for the day. Wash and eat and do kids basic needs. Everything else can fuck off.

Oh and congratulate yourself for getting through the day despite how shit it felt, you still managed to go to work, eat a meal, hug your kid. It's enough and you deserve a medal.

Fling a duvet cover that you like over one of the piles of boxes and stuff that’s stressing you out. So when you look over you see your nice duvet. Or throw, whatever.

Thankyou. I think just “saying it out loud” is helpful. After the bath I washed and braided my hair, and brushed my teeth. And then gave the puppy a quick wash because she got poop on herself. And told DP I am not dealing (although he had noticed). So we have ordered takeaway. He is making sure we have clothes for tomorrow and feeding our pets. And I am using the time before the takeaway gets here to straighten up the room we’re sleeping in as much as possible. Even if that means throwing stuff into one of the other rooms and shutting the door on it. When the takeaway gets here we will watch Line of Duty. And I will resist the temptation to drink alcohol as that won’t help. I will take my vitamins though. And tomorrow is another day. The problem is that being healthy takes planning and thought and I can’t plan or think when my mind is like this.

It's exhausting when keeping your head straight is such a conscious process. But if you keep going through the critical motions, you will get past the current blip.

Thankyou

I didn’t succeed with my plan. The takeaway arrived quicker than we thought so not enough time to straighten the room and too early for Line of Duty! I also couldn’t find the vitamins I’m supposed to take (confirmed with some deficiencies on blood test but am rubbish at taking the tablets). But I took a multivitamin, we ate our takeaway, and now am watching mindless tv whilst DP has a bath. We can watch LoD tomorrow. And I set up a recurring order for my iron & vit D pills so I won’t run out again. At least I remembered to do my B12 injection the other day.

Trying not to criticise myself for not being able to do anything more.

At least my dogs are happy snoozing in with me. I took a sominex so should hopefully be able to sleep in a bit.

It sounds like your house and all you need to decorate and get done has overwhelmed you and that kind of pressure will trigger anxiety.

The thing I do when I feel like it’s just a huge hurdle or mountain with kids, work, pets, organising a home and decorating is try to instead take little steps, so focus on one thing at a time, rest, then another, then rest and so on.

You will get there and just be kind with yourself and patient