Hi my fiance died 5 years ago. I have 2 children one has just turned 8 and the other is 5. Im sick of spending most of my time alone. I'm sick of having to deal with everything alone. I'm sick of having to make all the decisions on my own. I don't have a large group of friends and it's made me feel worse because of the past year. I feel like no one understands. My sister tells me I'm being silly and says because she has a child also shes in the same boat but she has a husband and she works. She said shes alone too because her husband works 5 late shifts every other week so she sits alone after her son goes to bed but I don't see how that's the same as someone who is alone most of the time. I couldn't work because of childcare for my youngest as she wasn't at school and now I'm searching for a job through school hours which isn't easy. So when the kids are at school most of the time I'm alone. I know it just seems like I'm feeling sorry for myself and maybe I am but just fed up. I'm not a woman who easily finds boyfriends. How do ppl get through days when you feel this way? I love my kids so much but it would be nice to have some adult company from time to time.