Feel like I’m spiraling

[Tagagzjskva]

Hello

I’m currently very unhappy and stressed in my job (just over a month til I leave).

I’ve been hanging on with my MH by a shoestring.
If it wasn’t for A/L I think I’d be pretty unwell.

Anyway, aside from being exhausted and having spent the best part of a year in bed (when not at work this is) I’ve dragged myself back a few times, I’ve started going on walks and eating better which temporarily helped.

However in the past few weeks I’ve developed issues around eating. Eating anything other than about five types of foods - protein shakes, apples, ice lollies, veg soup and oranges causes me so much stress. I have no idea why this is and can see it’s abnormal yet I’m finding myself following this Uber restrictive plan.

I’ve not got any diagnosed MH issues but was previously sexually assaulted, and my childhood was full of low - medium level parental abuse. Which I haven’t exactly dealt with.

I don’t know what to do, whilst I’m not like severely depressed I am not coping at life.

Thanks to anyone whose read this x

I suspect (with no medical training) that it’s a stress response. From what you’ve said I think a GP would be happy to sign you off work until you finish. It sounds worse than when I was signed off during lockdown for a month in first lockdown - done over phone and emailed to me. I am much better now if it helps. Your health is too important to overlook and the longer you put yourself under pressure the harder it may be to undo effects. Cut yourself some slack and prioritise yourself. You’re important! Sorry to hear about past assault and upbringing. Sometimes everything catches up with you. Therapy and/or short time SSRIs helped me. Take care of yourself x

Thanks so much x

How you doing today?

Make an appointment with your GP & get a referral for counselling where you can talk safely about how you are feeling now & work through past traumas. Please do this as you don't need to cope alone & feel like it is an overwhelming struggle. I hope ypu feel better soon. Take care. 🌷