Complex PTSD

[Cpstdhelp]

Hi, I really think I have complex PTSD. Both the symptoms and causes fit.

I don’t know what to do. I can function at a very high level - no one (other than my husband) would realise anything is wrong. But I have what I believe to be emotional flashbacks where I become full of rage or suicidal. But it passes fairly quickly and then I am ok.

I’ve had cbt in the past but this isn’t helping as it’s an overwhelm of emotions that I can’t process.

I don’t know what to do. Should I attempt to get a diagnosis or just pay privately for a therapist so I can work through it?

I have to get this sorted as I have two little kids one of whom is autistic. Life is stressful but I need my kids to grow up as well as possible.

Thanks

Any guidance on what time of therapy appreciated. I know about EMDR but I have blacked out a lot of my childhood. I do have a few memories. How does it work? Do they start with what you can remember? My entire childhood was full of unhappiness and very high stress.

Hi Op.

I have self diagnosed with cptsd too, though my GP has said she agrees (in the absence of any formal assessment).

I have sought out a private psycotherapist who specialises in therapy for people with trauma and ptsd. I also looked for someone who is "trauma informed". She does offer EMDR but I'm not at that stage yet.

It's been helpful having someone validate my response to multiple major traumas over the last 8 years. She is slso helping me understand, when I have a massive reaction to something, how much is past trauma reaction, how much is what's happening now...

Sympathies. I find it to be having a massive, negative impact on my life.

EMDR I think is best for one-off type trauma rather than complex, it didn't work for me as my childhood was basically one long trauma! Research shows that it's the relationship with the therapist that is most important, especially where your issue is around emotional regulation. Do you have a women's centre or other charity providing therapy near you? Otherwise it probably is private, though it gets very expensive very quickly. I have found though that a lot of counsellors that say they provide support around trauma don't really get it, so it does take a bit of research into background and training.

Have you read The Body Keeps The Score?

I'd recommend that book too. Yes it did take a while to find someone who was a trauma specialist. Often need to contact poss people to find out more.

Definitely EMDR. It helped me learn to sleep aged 48

I'd recommend getting a formal diagnosis. Then you can get access to trauma focused treatment

Try Pete Walkers book, CPTSD from Surviving to Thriving. You need trauma based therapy as well as mindful meditation and something like yoga to bring back a mind body connection.

Thanks all. I’ll get that book. I briefly read a review on Amazon that mentioned the book mentions animal cruelty. If possibly I’d be so grateful if someone could tell me the page number of this section. I really struggle if exposed to things like this. Thanks.

I’ll look into therapists / start a search but cost is a worry.

I’m only vaguely aware of my triggers. I was thinking of trying to keep a diary so I can establish them. Is that a good idea? My memory is it not great and I wonder if I sort of black out. I was very upset a few days ago but I’d really struggle now to explain it.

@colouringindoors do you think worth talking to gp? Did they offer you anything? My experience of nhs Is either cbt or counselling and don’t think either is right. Thanks. Sympathies to you too.

@Boonlark how do you get a diagnosis though? I go to my gp right but who do they refer me too? Thanks

@greycloudysky thank you. I do mindfulness meditation via the calm app but not frequently enough and I did also do yoga so I’ll get back on those. Thanks. The book looks great.

Can I ask - is there hope for me to beat this myself? My childhood was sustained unhappiness and being let down/not cared for repeatedly/consistently by my mum, dad and step day so it’s a lot but I don’t have the energy or time or cash at the moment really.

OP check out what's available in your area and online for cheap therapy. There may be a subsidised trauma clinic. Anxiety UK has cheap therapy at £15 an hour and includes hypnotherapy and compassion focused therapy which those brought up by critical and neglectful parents, will benefit from. There are some other ideas here. The reason you want a therapist is because you need a supportive space in which to explore these problems and need support as you work through them.

You might find beta blockers, something like propranolol, helpful if you are overwhelmed with anxiety and flashbacks. Regular mindfulness practice helps you to catch triggers, to be more mindful of unhelpful though processes and rumination. Yoga helps if dissociation is part of your trauma response.

Walker's book, provides a step by step guide to recovery.

cptsd I found my GP was sympathetic but no actual use. Waiting lists to see psychiatrists are endless here and because I'm functional (ie managing to work) I prob wouldn't meet thresholds. Some areas do offer trauma focused CBT. Its def worth finding what is available on the NHS. MIND also provide heavily discounted counselling, don't know if they do trauma work. I would personally steer clear of a general counsellor, can be counter productive. I also ask any private practitioner if they can reduce their rates at all. Not easy to do, but usually people will. Eg my therapist has reduced her fee from £70 to £60 (still a lot, I pay for it ironically out of son's DLA).

Found these helpful

traumapractice.co.uk/what-is-the-difference-between-ptsd-complex-ptsd/

summitcounseling.org/stuck-on-wide-open-the-hidden-dangers-of-emotional-dysregulation

Google "Window of Tolerance" i find this model very helpful - what pushes you out of your tolerance window. What works for you in helping you stay calm generally, and calming you down, or picking you up.

Someone else mentioned yoga, I find this one of the very best things for me to do regularly to keep near an even keel.

I think there is a lot you can do yourself, if you have compassion for yourself, don't rush. Read stuff and let it settle.

Mindfulness can be helpful for some, but best if you're a trauma survivor, if it's guided, so you have one thing to concentrate on (less likely to get swamped with traumatic memories - if this happens, don't do it).

I've found the first few chapters of this helpful (need to keep going)

uk.bookshop.org/books/mindfulness-a-practical-guide-to-finding-peace-in-a-frantic-world/9780749953089

One book at a time though 😉

Sorry just seen post about energy time and cash.

In that case I'd say

1. audio book of whichever of the books above sounds interesting.
2. 10 mins of yoga a day. Loads on youtube. Adrienne is popular. Do it as an act of caring for yourself.

Sorry, me again, having just RTFT!. Re triggers, yes you can sometimes identify them. But in my experience, my son's and according to my therapist, often you can't. Because something totally unremarkable may trigger something in your subconscious (esp re childhood trauma) and boom, you're away. So don't beat yourself if you can't identify triggers.

@colouringindoors thank you so much. I don’t think I can face the gp at the moment. And I also think I wouldn’t meet thresholds as I’m functioning well really. I just have episodes of complete dysfunction. To explain my trauma would be very complex and I can’t face doing that with a gp to then get no help or the wrong help.

It was Adrienne I used to do so I’ll start up again. Just always so exhausted after the kids are asleep and I’m working on my daughter’s DLA form in the evenings at the moment. I don’t blame you did using it to pay for therapy! My kids’ need for a stable mum is what’s making me do this.

Anyway, I will prioritise mindfulness and Adrienne and yes - one book at a time!!

When things are more amenable I’ll look for a therapist.

Thanks again.

Oh gosh DLA forms are really tough. I totally understand where you're coming from. Honestly I think "simply" practising self compassion and self care is one of the best things you can do.