What practical things can I do to pull myself out of this low spell?

[Blurpblorp]

I think like many people, now the kids are back at school, I've had time to reflect on the stress of the past few months. This had led to me feeling low in mood, listless, overwhelmed, anxious, teary. I've just reached a point of total overwhelm and it's affecting my home life and I can't concentrate at work. I'm concerned how unproductive I am at work and how tired and overwhelmed I feel by life.

I've had therapy... I know myself and that I need to practice self-care and self-compassion. I sobbed on my boss on Friday morning and he let me take a day's annual leave so had a nice long weekend of positive pottering at home, walks with the kids and self-care. I'm going to ask him for some support at work for the next few weeks until I have a break at Easter, and for the kids dad to have them for an extended period. But I feel stuck as to the other options I have at the moment. Have no family nearby. Has anyone got any tips on things I can do that aren't therapy. I'm feeling uninspired and can't think straight. Thanks.

Hi @Blurpblorp It can feel difficult to get going again after a low period in normal circumstances but it feels even harder at the moment. I find it takes me a while to adjust to whatever's going on, new lockdown, rules, school routines, and every time I just start to feel we're getting back into a routine something changes again.

Could you arrange to go for a walk with a friend or family member... A grown up walk. Things I do to try to help myself include online yoga like yoga with adriene (but there's loads on YouTube), listen to podcasts, headspace app, radio shows on catch up (been listening to Ferne Cottons sounds of the 90s at the moment which always cheers me up), audio books or reading, jigsaws... Napping just to try to build my energy up after the last year, journalling (well I bought a nice book and try to write a few things in it each day or make lists in it). The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. It takes time to get into these places and it takes time to restore and feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

Sorry I just saw you don't have family nearby, same as us. Schedule some video or regular calls maybe?

Thanks @mrsdiddlydoo for all the tips. Am just thinking that I do many of those things already... But even so, I'm still so listless and unable to concentrate. So worried about my productivity at work. I'll definitely check out the Fearne Cotton thing... Dancing is a great tip.

Has anyone got tips on how to structure their working day to increase how productive they are?

I know you have specified ‘not therapy’ as you have had it, but it’s not necessarily a ‘do once’ process. People evolve throughout life and the past 12 months have been brutal. Even if you just booked in a few sessions with a therapist to look at ways through the low mood, it could be surprisingly helpful. Also, try and be kind to yourself. We have all, to some extent, been in survival mode and we haven’t had access to many of the things that help us cope. If you’re reacting by feeling down at this point, it might be that you are processing what’s happened for the first time as the immediate crisis is over.

I’m sorry you are struggling. I’m in a bad place to. I have been here numerous times before now, and sometimes it’s about just riding it out and looking after yourself in the meantime.

Currently I’m trying to take some hours away from work when possible to help, make sure I do my make up in the mornings. The occasional yoga, meditations and podcasts are helping. Sounds daft but a homemade smoothie in the morning helps me get in some vitamins that I dont usually get and drives me to think and feel healthier. Getting out in nature when I can, and really taking a few minutes out to appreciate and listen to it. We also have a gratitude diary where we write three things we are grateful for a day (even on the bad days you can find something) to shift perspectives if only for ten minutes. You might find an activity that works - even if it’s to help you boost your mood temporarily.

I’ve ramped up my vitamin D as well as I know this can affect my mood.

Talking and looking after yourself is the most important thing.

I was going to say any distraction really which is fine but for about ten minutes a day it’s important to sit with yourself and really feel what is going on in your mind and in your body. I learned the importance of this when I turned to Buddhism at a time in my life when I thought I couldn’t do it no more. Most people want to run away and find some thing to cling on to but feeling and accepting the pain and sorrow inside you can help you get there quicker and love yourself more. It really can xx

Do you take regular exercise? Running is great for mental health and happy feelings. Good,

Sorry. Pressed send too soon.

Good, healthy food also helps.

And if you have time, volunteering. I am part of a local litter action group and it is such a positive bunch of people to be involved with. There's a lot of satisfaction to be gained from leaving a park better than I found it.

Ideas for boosting productivity:

• identify time of day you have most energy. Allocate to one hour a hit-list of things to do as rapidly as humanly possible. Afterwards, have a mug of green tea and go out in fresh air for ten minutes.

• do not start your day with emails.

• review your objectives for this quarter. If you don’t have any, set some for yourself

• skip lunch. I know, radical. But it’s disruptive. Make healthy snacks before work, keep on your desk and work through. Use your lunch break in chunks to do activities throughout the day eg stretch, walk, lunges, meditation, change beds (if you wfh)

• get up at 5.30am and go outside. It’s a brilliant time of day to be up and you feel ahead of the whole world

You could try the NHS website for an action plan. I think it is most targeted at people who are struggling now but are normally ok MH wise but I think it’s worth a look. You answer some questions and it makes some suggestions based on your answers.

www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/your-mind-plan-quiz/

I'm sorry you're feeling low - it's so hard right now to get out of any kind of rut, so just by identifying that you need to is a good sign.

I went through similar a few months back, very unmotivated, anxious and numb to any enjoyment.

There were a few things that helped me:

1/ I took a few days leave to just get my head together, be on my own without kids or husband. It really felt long overdue just to have some time where i wasn't rushing from work to home etc.

2/ I realised that i'd been lurching from crisis mode to crisis mode with the lockdowns - so a new one was called and each time i'd sort of think - lets just get through it. So that meant I never adapted to any - which meant all my previous self care stuff (gym, eating properly) went out of the window. When I accepted that lockdown was going to be here to stay, in some form, for a while, I started adapting better - cooking meals again, making sure I went for a run or walk when i could at lunchtime. Maybe you've also been in crisis mode (like a lot of us) - so now might be the time to start thinking, how do I adapt to this so that my mental health has at least some degree of priority!

3/ audiobooks - for me these are amazing for distracting me.

4/ put limits back on phone scrolling - so no phones in the lounge in the evening for example. I'd really zoned out for a while on my phone just aimlessly scrolling and it wasn't good

5/ have stuff to look forward to. It's hard but i found booking in small things - eg pub garden drinks in April with friends, a visit to my sister in London in June - helps keep me going and feeling like time has a shape still.

I hope any of this helps. It is so damn hard, and i didn't even have homeschooling to contend with. So treat yourself gently and give yourself and your mental health some priority xx

I sympathise @Blurpblorp. I have no advise with the work structuring, but when I felt similarly low I found that walking and taking photos helped. Off kilter trees, wee weeds in the grass, clocks, anything really. Most of the photos are utter shite, but it is weirdly soothing, easy to do and free.

I feel similar at the moment - just cant be arsed with work. Only really doing work when I have immediate deadlines, the work is very visible or in preparation for a meeting, I am ignoring lots of emails and worry that at some point it will all come back to bit me! I think I just feel shell shocked after such a tough few months trying to work ad home school (and I have a partner who does his fair share so I cant begin to imagine how exhausted you must be as a single parent!). There are some really good tips above - I often dont have a lunch break and find it helps me. I know there are a million and one things I should be doing but I am taking real baby steps at the moment. It got to a point where I have to bribe myself to do chunks of work - so I send an email and then play a short game on my phone as a reward (I love Boggle at the moment - about 3 minutes long!). I have also been getting overwhelmed with all the things on my work (and home!) to do list so have found that sitting on my bed with a cup of tea and writing down everything whilst watching crappy TV has really helped. I think I become overwhelmed when it is the only focus. Somehow watching something helps me switch off a bit. Once it is all down on paper I feel less stressed and realise there isn't as much to do as I thought. I realise these are all really unhealthy, unmotivated things to do but I really cant motivate myself to eat well, meditate etc at the moment.
Things just feel so tough dont they. I feel like I should have had a week off work when school went back to allow myself time to recover! I think I will be taking some annual leave next week to give me some energy before the Easter holidays.

@Blurpblorp

Thanks *@mrsdiddlydoo* for all the tips. Am just thinking that I do many of those things already... But even so, I'm still so listless and unable to concentrate. So worried about my productivity at work. I'll definitely check out the Fearne Cotton thing... Dancing is a great tip.

Has anyone got tips on how to structure their working day to increase how productive they are?

Yes. I have this. Diary the night before, write to do list for entire working day, and allocate time slots. Physically tick off each task as it is done. Include tea breaks. At end of day congratulate yourself on what you have done and do the next day's list.

It's so tough isn't it?

I try to get out of the house as early as possible, even if it's just a quick walk around the block before the day proper begins.

And yes to dancing, rather than exercise videos I've been watching dance based fitness ones, makes me laugh out loud most days at my uncoordinated self and the music makes me feel good.

I find i need to be careful not to focus on how sad or miserable I feel, and instead find things that distract me. I've been reading a lot but only comforting books, anything sad or suspenseful gets deleted pdq from my kindle.

I think having a notepad to hand, when you get an anxious or despairing thought, write it down, it helps me to get it out so it doesn't keep running round.

Go for a walk in the morning. This is so crucial to how I feel for the rest of the day, though not always easy to squeeze in.

A happy or calming playlist, depending on what you need.

A guided meditation if this sort of thing speaks to you.

Thanks again everyone. Sorry to hear some of you are feeling / have felt similar. Great tips too, I do love the Mumsnet collective wisdom. Means a lot thank you xx

Im a big believer in structure.Ive learnt( the hard way) im more productive with a tight routine for my work days-and complete fluidity for the downtime.
I get up early-but only so i can watch the sun come up from the deck over the water and hear the birds get going..nip downstairs for a swim. shower, work emails with a protein shake and leave for work with the DC still asleep(they do distance ed) back late-ish-whereby i will have talked to the DC and they'll either have something in the oven or be getting stuff delivered.
I do this as I can put in a 40 hr week but still have at least 3 full days off. I have a roster so the DC pretty much do all the house-work(apart from laundy lol) mine are teen tho and been doing homeschool for years before covid-so its not a new system

Ditto what Cornish said. You really should get out onto the deck over the water OP, I'm sure you will find it helpful.

@DioneTheDiabolist yes yes to the deck and nipping downstairs for a swim will definitely help!