Never knew being an adult was so hard

[SantasReindeerDonna20x]

hmmmm where do i start?
since the age of 12 ive been in and out of care homes. which,was crap,but in a way ok because i always had people around me, someone to talk to and basically not a care in the world.
when i was 14, i met my ex p, moved in together when i was 16, and thats when i realised that i hated growing up. he used to kick me about, emotionally bully me and make me hate myself.
i finally plucked up the courage to leave him and met my dp.
it has been a whirlwind romance to say the least. i moved in with him straight away, i got pg about a month and half after we met!
things were going great up until about august this year. dp got made redundant and has so far, had no luck with finding another job, niether have i. we are really starting to struggle now though, we can barely afford to pay our mortgage every month, nevermind afford the bills, shopping etc etc
we havent even got central heating and i feel so so guilty. its not fair on her that the house is always so cold and she has to wear gloves inside just to try and keep warm.
i feel terrible thinking about what a shit start to life she has had and its breaking my heart.
i dont know why ive even wrote this. i guess i just needed to write it all down.
i dont mind if i dont get any replys and im sorry for telling you all this

I was pretty much the same Santa, a real rebel!! I pretty much didnt go to school for the last year. Now history is repeating itself as i have a 17 year old rebellious DD. I have managed at least to get her to stay at college but to be honest, she doesnt want to be there, so i suspect she may leave soon. I went back to college when i was 24 to do GCSE's, they assumed because i didnt have any qualifications that i wasnt up to it, so had me doing a GNVQ, well, a degree and PhD later, i kind of showed them really!
So please don't give up on that. I wouldn't worry about your scrapes with the law either, they would put that down to teenage high jinx, i mean, even top politicians seem to reveal a cannibis habit from their younger years.

Now of course you need to focus on giving your DD lots of cuddles.

well what an aboslutely crap day!!!!!
decided to go into college to see what i could do. had to go on bus with dd. bus was full so i had to fold buggy (a loola so quite heavy) and stand up on bus holding dd and buggy and not 1 person offered to help me. 2 old cows were complaining because i had taken so 'bloody long'
got to college n dd decided to have a poo, breastmilk poo, leaked all over so had to leave college n go buy her some new clothes with my bus fare.
took me 2hours to walk home. got in, read gas bill red reminder. theyve cut me off due to not being able to afford it. tried ringing and explaining, got a 13week old child etc n the snotty bitch, oh well im sorry about that, next time pay your bill, n hung up.
everything just seems to be getting worse. im hearing people say all the time, about how great their xmas will be this year, how much they have spent and here i am cant even afford a 10p xmas card
i cant stop crying and im just so fedup of it all

What a bloody terrible day! Don't know if you've got my email but I posted off the electric heater 1st class this morning. It might be there in the morning. Hang in there, things will get better for you I'm sure.

Ring the bloody gas suppliers back now and ask for someone in charge, take names, times etc and get that bloody cow who hung up on you sorted out! {{{{Hugs}}}}} hon, you're really going through it.

PS: Where in the world are you?

Ah its on your profile! I may be able to send you some netters to befriend you, what do you say?

Santa, you have a child under five, they cannot legally cut you off - ring your HV if you dont feel you can talk to them directly. How dare that woman talk to you like that. Report her, they record the calls so you will have proof.

I feel a bit bad now, encouraging you with the college thing, but hey, you made a start thats fantastic it really shows you have the motivation to make a difference. Just dont make it so hard on yourself. Ring the college and ask them for a prospectus, or some info at least over the phone, they probably have a website too. Where abouts are you?

Keep your chin up sweetie, and while you are on the phone to the college, when you put it down, pick it up again to find out if there are any homestart schemes in your area.

Good luck

thank you so much jet x
frizbe i really havent got the energy to ring them. dp will tomorrow though.
what do u mean,send me some netters? sorry im thick x

lucyellensmum you're great
I know a couple of girls up your way, have pointed them in the direction of this thread

LEM-dont feel bad, i have been meaning to sort college out for a while anyway
thank you, everyone for your kind words and your support. it means alot x

Thats great. thank you frizbe x

I'm so sorry about the hard time you're having - it makes me feel so sad.

I can understand your not wanting to take benefits, but they are there to help you in this situation. Get someone on your side who knows about benefits and grants (CAB would be a good place to start) Find out what help is available and take it. A few years down the road, when you have a good job, you'll be able to pay for someone else to get help by paying your taxes.

What matters is what keeps your family happy and healthy.

Good luck

JET-thank you so much for the heater, i went to sleep happy for the 1st time in a long while. thank you x

santasreindeer I'm so sad to read about what a crap time you are having. It's not much help i know but have you checked out the postnatal threads on here. there will be a thread for people whose babies were born in july. it's not much but i've made some fab friends on my thread (June mummies). having a new baby can be v isolating and it's good to talk to others in the same position.

I think that JET is a lovely human being.

Patsy x

santas reindeer. I ve only had time to briefly scan this thread but wantef to reply. these suggestions may already been posted so I apologise if I cam just repeating myself.

Right homestart are excellent as are surestart ( if you live in a sure start area!) Connexions run course specially designed for young mums wantnig to get the skills to get into employment. With your experiences Im sure youd make a fab RSO and there is no reason why you shouldnt achieve your dream.

Do you know what your staus is as a care leaver?? I know its crap that they cut of at 21 but see if there are any other services that they can suggest or signpost you to...before next wednesday!!! Have you had a leaving care grant???

lourobert-i had a leaving care grant when i was 17,when i got my 1st ever flat. got the basics,carpet bed etc n ex sold it all even the carpet,so that was a waste of time.
as far as i know,there isnt anywhere else i could go after i leave backup, although they told me i could call in whenever i want.
im on countdown now 15hours to go eek

hey everyone, just thought i would give u all a quick update. warmfront has decided that we can have central heating. yay! our mortgage and bills have had to be paid with our credit card but things are on the up i hope!
thank u for all ur help and support x

Hiya Yorkshabird, have only just read the thread, but I'm so glad to hear that things are looking better and that you might be warm for Christmas! Any more news on the jobs front?

no, no news yet but im holding up hope. i dont think that we have central heating for xmas, would be a great xmas pressie though x

Well, we got our central heating installed about 3 weeks ago phew. That is a huge weight lifted now. thank you so much to everyone for all the support and advice you gave me. It really does mean alot.

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