Hiding from my family like a teenager

[Peanutbutterandbananatoastie]

I am a mid-thirties mother of 2 and have been doing nothing for the last 3 hours. Kept arguing with dp and not being present enough with the kids and so have scurried off. Partner is saying it’s ok and has taken the kids out which makes me feel worse.

I have always struggled with inertia and find I’m slipping lately. My mum is helpful but I find her solution is always to take the kids for a bit and I end up spending the whole time beating myself up for being a useless mum.

It might be partly because my part-time badly paid job is closing soon, they are offering people other jobs within the company but the travel time and expense will make my earnings even lower.

At the moment I should be, applying for jobs, spending quality time with the kids, working on a professional development course so that I can get a better job, cleaning or organising the crap in my house, drawing for relaxation or just going downstairs to get a cup of tea, which seems to scary to do right now.

If dp started a thread about me I’m afraid you’d all tell him to ditch the cuntlodger (sorry for the language I think that’s the female equivalent).

Is this normal, do normal people hide away from their families for hours? I’m scared my eldest is starting to hate me.

OP you sound overwhelmed, and it's not surprising given how much you've got on your plate.

Be kind to yourself if you can. Lean on DP if needed. Just do what absolutely needs doing for now, leave the rest for today at least.

Thanks for that. I’m not doing anything though that’s the problem. Everyone else seems be checking off the to do list like wildfire. I went downstairs had a cup of tea and lunch and am spending time with the kids. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way? I feel like I’m wasting my life.

Yes I feel very much like that when I'm overwhelmed. It all feels too much and I just want to hide away, then I beat myself up for it, feel worse and the cycle continues.

Thanks I feel like all the answers are all pretty simple aren’t they just do one thing at a time etc. But the actual doing it thing is really hard. I just don’t want to get to the point where I’m can’t do anything. Hope you are feeling ok at the moment?

Yes, it's easy to give advice and sometimes we kind of know the answers- but as you say actually doing it is hard!