Lost at Sea

[1990b]

Changed name for anonymity.

Hi, everyone.

I gave birth to my baby 3 weeks ago and since then l have just become invisible, a vessel that just meets the demands of everyone but has faded into the background.

My husband's family all offer advice and tell me how happy they are with me, no one has asked if lm happy. My mother in law patronises me and tells me what to do she is 5000 miles away. I feel completely alone. Even with the support of my husband, l feel that l am at sea and so far from the shore, screaming and no one hears me .

I keep thinking my baby will be better off with someone else. Every negative thought l have about myself and things that have happened are in the front of my mind.

I don't recognise myself anymore

Op talk to the health visitor, the gp or anyone who will listen. Do you have enough money for private counselling?

Bless you. You need to speak to your GP or HV.

When you have a baby the whole world will tell you how to raise them. Just smile, nod and ignore and do what you want.

Your MIL is miles away so just say yeah to what ever she suggested and do your own thing. As long as your husband supports you that's the main thing.

I was like you. It sounds like pnd. I lied to everyone telling them I was so happy with motherhood. Inside I was a shell thinking she’d be better off without me.
I finally told a Hv years later and had help but I suffer today with holding in low feelings, anxiety a d depression.
Op please talk to your Hv, gp, anyone. And get referred for support if required. You are not alone ❤️

I am not a mum myself but it's one of the hugest transformations a woman can go through physically, emotionally, mentally and hormonally and then you're just expected to take to it like a duck to water, whilst dads are expected to muddle their way through/take some time to learn to be a father.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, and remember no mum gets a manual. You have to be able to take care of yourself to take care of your baby. You matter, please be kind and gentle on yourself.

Makes me sad reading that you are going through this because I did . With my little girl 15 years ago . It was one of the worse times of my life .I honestly thought I would be stuck feeling like it for ever . Please get help op you will feel a lot better and I promise you you are not alone ❤️

@1990b how are you feeling today? I hope you have spoken to someone. You made the first step posting here, the next steps will be easier if you have support x