Reassurance for previous PND sufferers thinking of having another baby.

[Toothache]

I didn't really know where to post this and I hope this doesn't come across as inappropriate.

Many of you know my history. When my ds was born in June 2001 I suffered from PND from 9 days old until I found MN and went to the GP when he was 18mths old. It was the blackest, most frightening and traumatic experience of my life and my DH's! I never thought I'd recover and I never thought I be a 'normal' parent.

When I began feeling better more days than I didn't I felt I was getting broody again. I was SOOOOOOOOO desperate to be a Mum who walked down the street pushing the pram looking happy and brimming with pride. I didn't even leave the house with ds until he was 5wks old!

I didn't beleive women that I spoke to who said it was the happiest thing that had EVER happened to them. I just thought "liar!!". I would see women with make-up on and nails painted and I'd feel incredible envy and sadness that I didn't feel like doing anything nice to/for myself. Most days I couldn't be arsed cleaning my teeth and getting dressed.

However, when I fell pg for a 2nd time (slightly quicker than planned!) I was so excited. I thought Oh MY GOD, this is my chance to prove to myself that I have it in me to 'cope'. And I thought maybe I'd have a chance to remember the 1st yr of this baby's life. I don't remember much of ds's milestones. But I was terrified of losing control again and slipping down and down and down.

Anyway... I'll stop going on and get to the point!

I have a 12 wk old DD who is just beautiful, and thankfully I have had no signs as yet of PND.

I'm enjoying being a Mum and enjoying my ds more than ever! I had a shakey moment in my pregnancy when AD's were prescribed, but not required. I've had a wonderful HV who taught me how to keep calm and to stop anxiety attacks. And who also has been keeping in touch with me, popping around for chats.

I just wanted to re-assure Mum's out there that although, or course it can strike again.... PND isn't inevitable and I am realising now just how ill I was after ds was born.

I see all the joy that babies can bring (despite the sleep deprivation!) and I can now appreciate what all those 'other women' were trying to explain to me 3yrs ago.

Never give up on yourself.

Toothache what a lovely post, its something I think about EVERY day , havng been in a similar mess up until a few months ago and starting to think about ttc by march next year. Now Im not so petrfied to be PG then I know Im soo much bettter , althugh a little fear is still there.

That's a fab post toothache.

Glad it wasn't you who 'left' this morning!

Melsy - My advice to you would be to take all the support that your GP/HV/MW offer you and they'll want to keep a real close eye on you through the pregnancy. Towards the end of my pg my HV came around every week until I developed a relationship with her where she knew I would tell her if something wasn't quite right. I had hidden my PND well from everybody except DH, and she knew that.

I was so determined that the first day I felt the loss of control and fear and anxiety that I would seek help and beat PND before it got a grip on me. Thankfully, as yet, I haven't felt that.

Skate - Nah, been there, done that.... who was I trying to kid!!

What a beautiful post, Toothache. Thank you so much.

Had pnd with ds1 (now 15) but had been suffering from depression when i got pregnant with ds2(6). Don't remember the subject ever coming up all through my pregnancy and afterwards. Still struggling with depression now!

Thanks Toothache, it brings some hope. We are considering adoption at the moment because I'm terrified to go through it all again. It's really nice that you have got such a useful HV, I was not that lucky. I'm yet very afraid but I will reconsider your history when I feel more positive about the subject. Thank you so much

What a fantastically positive mesage, Toothache and I'm delighted all is going well for you. I'd like to back you up, too. I had very severe pnd with ds2, which was awful, and I was worried when I came to have dd1. But I kept 100% well, didn't even have baby blues! And with dd2 I had a few weepy days in the first week but as the terrible events in Dunblane occured just five days after dd2 was born, I reckon there were more than a few of us crying round about that time. Pnd is by no means inevitable again and even if it does strike, you may well recognise the symtoms earlier and be able to curtail its effects.

Mumwithnoname - I'm so sorry you are still struggling. I received no help after I had ds. I wasn't considered a 'risk' for suffering with PND. I had no history of depression, I had a partner, a job and a healthy baby. So my HV and GP didn't consider it a possibility...... quite ridiculous now I think about it!

When I finally did go to the GP she informed my HV. Who seemed quite embarassed that she hadn't noticed. How could she have? I avoided meetings, appointments with ds (dh took him for immunisations, 8 wk check etc etc).
I even blanked her phonecalls.

This time, whilst I felt strong and healthy at the beginning of my 2nd pregnancy I took myself along to the GP and discussed my fears. I asked about support that would be offered and what options there were regarding AD's during pregnancy if necessary.

I suppose I kind of harassed them into helping. It shouldn't be like that. However, I have noticed a huge difference in the attitudes to PND now as opposed to just 3yrs ago. The Edinburgh test is given to women at 36 wks as routine now to detect possible signs of depression during pregnancy. I don't know how widespread that practise is though.

Toothache, it is so great to hear from you and hear how much you are able to enjoy dd this time round. What a lovely post and what lovely news!

Toothache, how lovely. I am so happy for you

Toothache that's a really encouraging post - thankyou

Toothache - im so pleased for you. Had been wondering how it was all going!
Congratulations!!
Kizziex

Toothache, just to say I am so glad for you - and I think you will comforted and reassured others. Also, I agree with what another poster said, that it is easier to recognise PND the second time around, and the quicker it can be dealt with the better. xx