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Original poster

How can I get my DH sectioned?

58 replies

silverribbonxmastree · 15/03/2021 18:38

My STBXH has a terrible coke addiction. He isn't functioning anymore. Just shuts himself in the house (I moved out with kids) and ignores the world. He suffers with extreme paranoia but won't accept he has a problem. It is only a matter of time before things implode (ie - not paying bills, dealing with emails,...).

I don't hate him but I can't support him anymore due to his extreme behaviour - he needs professional help and to recognise he has a problem to be able to move forward. I worry that he will end up dead at the rate he is going.

So to my problem - divorce proceedings have been issued (and ignored). We will need to sell the house as part of the divorce. I can't access the house to get my stuff as he has locked me out and his behaviour is v unpredictable (sometimes ok sometimes volatile). I will try to get some kind of court order in this regard.

As he doesn't leave the house (or v rarely to get food) his behaviour is restricted to the house. He has trashed the house. Everything is upside down.

For his own sake, he needs to be sectioned. Any advice greatly appreciated?

OP posts:
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 15/03/2021 20:54

You can't. Best thing you can do is contact the crisis team on his behalf but it is extremely difficult to get someone sectioned. They have to be an active risk to themselves or others and even then I believe it takes 2 professionals to agree it is the only way forward. For me, it was police and the A&E psychiatrist.

skeggycaggy · 15/03/2021 20:55

Is he under psych services?

marshflamingo · 15/03/2021 20:58

What do you think being sectioned means?

Detaining somebody under the Mental Health Act is not a casual or easy process. Rightly so.

Elieza · 15/03/2021 21:08

Is it a mortgaged property? If you are on the mortgage he can’t lock you out of the house as far as I know.

You wouldn’t want to go there alone to get your stuff though if he has a history of becoming violent.

Have you asked the police or womens aid for advice or help to get your stuff?

Blueuggboots · 15/03/2021 21:11

Unfortunately, it's very difficult to get people sectioned as others have said. It's even harder when addiction is involved as often the MH team will blame the dependency and insist people get help with that before their mental health is addressed....

YorkiePud25 · 15/03/2021 21:30

If his behaviour is due to drug use they can't section him. Sounds like he needs rehab

FusionChefGeoff · 15/03/2021 21:30

My friend was in a very similar situation with her STBXH but with alcohol instead of cocaine.

Eventually, after rehab, detox, crisis teams and years of decline he eventually died.

And all we could do was watch. It was heartbreaking and has ruined her life (she's always had her own issues with alcohol that dropped off a cliff when he died) and her youngest son's.

The quicker you can detach and keep yourself protected the better.

There is nothing you can do for him so you need to focus on you and your kids.

BunnyRuddington · 15/03/2021 21:33

I know it's not what you asked but I was just wondering if he's ignored the Divorce Petition, have you applied for Bailiff service?

TitusPullo · 15/03/2021 21:40

@Blueuggboots - there is no unfortunately about it. When someone is sectioned their fundamental rights are taken away. It should be a very very difficult process with many safeguards. Should it be easier for people to access mental health services, definitely. However you cannot force these on adults who do not wish to engage.

I have sympathy for you OP but your ex making your life difficult with self destructive behaviour doesn’t mean they should have their right to consent to treatment removed from them.

AfterSchoolWorry · 15/03/2021 21:45

I'd get the police to accompany you into the house to get your stuff.

As for his mental state and addiction, there isn't really anything you can or should do, other than distance yourself from him.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 15/03/2021 21:58

Drug addiction is not defined as a mental illness within the mental health act so basically you can't if that's the only problem.

However if you are his nearest relative under the Mental Health Act (which if you are married then you are) then you do have a right to request a MHA assessment but you cannot dictate whether it does take place or the outcome. You request by phoning up your local mental health trust and asking to speak to the 'approved mental health practitioner' the AMHP and asking to make a referral for an MHA as the nearest relative.

imalmostthere · 15/03/2021 22:06

He can't be sectioned. The crisis team section people under the mental health act, and it's incredibly bloody hard to do so. Having an addiction isn't reason to be sectioned, and the crisis team won't be able to help. He needs to willingly go to rehab. You can call the police and say he's refusing you entry to the property to collect your belongings, but that's it.

SnarkyBag · 15/03/2021 22:10

That’s not a reason to be sectioned. With regards to your belongings and house you need good legal advice

Wolfiefan · 15/03/2021 22:12

You can’t. It’s an addiction issue. Not MH.

Reinventinganna · 15/03/2021 22:13

Does he have a diagnosis of a mental disorder and/or has he received treatment in the past?

goldielockdown2 · 15/03/2021 22:14

You need practical legal advice re the divorce, OP.

Original poster
silverribbonxmastree · 15/03/2021 22:16

Thanks for all the responses.

To answer a few q's:-

I totally accept that sectioning is a draconian measure and don't take it lightly. I have been aware of his addiction for the last 5 years and have tried to support him as best as I could. He's been to rehab several times and has seen various drug counsellors. Not seeing anyone at present.

In the end I had to leave to safeguard myself and the kids.

I know he can't stop me accessing the property but he has admitted (and I have seen fleetingly) that everything has been pulled from every shelf and is covered in some kind of powder (talc?). I could get a PSCO to attend with me but would need a locksmith to get in (as he locks the doors from inside).

I have told him that I will pay for him to go to rehab so long as he goes for at least 6 weeks and doesn't jack in early (as before). I can't force him to go nor make him stay there once there.

In terms of the divorce, my solicitor has applied for deemed service and we will seek further directions at the forthcoming hearing. I don't want to go in all guns blazing as he is seriously unwell and needs help.

I am concerned as his behaviour is deteriorating - other than the usual paranoia (fraud/i'm having multiple affairs/people are watching him), he has messed with the electrics to the house as he thinks our electricity is being tapped. The phones don't work as he has damaged the sockets and wires. The fridge/freezer doesn't work nor does the boiler. He has lost weight and looks awful. Lots of other stuff too.

I want him to get help and at the same time I want to move on with my life.

Do you think adult social services might help?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/03/2021 22:18

If he’s an addict then the only thing that will make a difference is if he decides he wants to stop and seeks help.
You can’t cure this.

XenoBitch · 15/03/2021 22:18

You can't. All you can do is try to get crisis team involvement, or the police. Mental health teams tend to be reluctant to see people with drug/alcohol issues because that is addiction and not necessarily a mental health issue.

tonystarksrighthand · 15/03/2021 22:19

@YorkiePud25

If his behaviour is due to drug use they can't section him. Sounds like he needs rehab

They can. My DB was sectioned due to drug abuse.

He's now many years clean and in long term recovery in a 12 step program.

SnarkyBag · 15/03/2021 22:22

It’s not about it being draconian. Sectioning is very often appropriate and necessary in some situations just not this one.

He’s a drug addict I doubt very much any services will get involved unless he asks for help.

cormorantes · 15/03/2021 22:26

I'm sorry, it sounds horrible. Definitely try and speak to the AMHP service in your area, they will hopefully be able to give you advice on any available way forward. Or confirm there is in fact nothing you can do.

Original poster
silverribbonxmastree · 15/03/2021 22:27

tonystarksrighthand - that is reassuring to hear.

As someone mentioned above, there needs to be more support for mental health care.

I just feel as though he is stuck in a whirlpool and can't or won't get out. I thought that me leaving would make him hit rockbottom and have some kind of epiphany. Clearly not.

OP posts:
Shrivelled · 15/03/2021 22:28

Does a coke addiction cause that level of paranoia? Personally I’d call the MH crisis team and not focus too much on him being an addict. Let them decide if that’s the cause of his situation.

Original poster
silverribbonxmastree · 15/03/2021 22:36

I do wonder whether he has a co occurring disorder sometimes. It's hard to tell. If he came off the coke then we'd know but that is not happening.

It's so sad to see someone who 'had it all' end up like this

OP posts:
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