Thought I would be doing better now home schooling is done. Just me?

[goingpearshaped]

Hello,

Like do many of us I have been really struggling since Jan. Not sleeping, exhausted, constantly teary, sad, irritable and just despondent. I put so much of this down to home schooling again and trying to work a more than FT job. DH works out of the house so this fell predominantly to me.

Mine are now back aside from.onevdick day last week for one of them ( appalling timing) and I am all over the shop still. I feel that I should be coping but I am not at all. I had about three hours sleep last night.

I started writing this whilst waiting to be called in for what I was told by my GP was a dermatology appt, turns out it was a bcc ( basal cell carcinoma I think) clinic and just freaked out when they said they wanted to remove the lump. Not a bcc and not likely dodgy but unsure. I just had no mental capacity to manage my anxiety as already in the edge. I am now say in my car post appt.

Is it just me?

Bar one day last week, sorry. I can't even proof read it seems.

I think how much women, particularly mothers, have suffered during the pandemic hasn't been acknowledged enough. No wonder you are still exhausted.

It will take time to recover.
It's not just you
Be kind to yourself

Thank you both, that's kind of you to reply. I feel like a complete idiot at the moment. I think the doctor thought I had lost the plot although they were v kind.

I keep trying to call to speak to the GP re meds as I am struggling do much but chickened out after they did not answer and kept me on hold a few weeks ago for ages. I feel I should have my shit together and I don't.

I felt an immediate relief last Monday morning when the kids went into school. Then felt teary for the rest of the day! I’m still feeling completely burnt out. Stress impacts my sleep and lack of sleep makes me stressed so I’m definitely in a bit of self-perpetuating loop.

All the best with your medical treatment. Hope you know what’s what soon.

They might be back but if your home is anything like mine its going to take more than a week or so to make it feel like a home again and less like a war zone! I think that’s part of the problem - our homes / inner sanctuaries have lost their cosy, hide away from the world feeling and become school rooms/ meeting rooms/ indoor gyms/ negotiation / mediation rooms. It’s no wonder we feel stressed and anxious!
Thinking of you hope your treatment goes well. Are you able to have a walk in the sun today?

I feel somewhat similar. Im shell shocked and dont appear to have any capacity for thinking. It's like baby/menapause brain fog but worse. I've got got a filling that needs repair, my glasses prescription needs changing, there's something wrong with my foot and the dog is constantly whining because he can't understand where everyone else is. House is like a bombsite, there's washing all over, I can't sleep, I'm constantly frozen. I can't concentrate on anything. I'd lost weight at the start of lockdown and have put it all back on again. My fitness has dropped to an all time low. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and hide. It'll be bread and jam for tea, but there's no bread and I can't be bothered to put the breadmaker on.

Thanks for replying all. It's helpful to know it's not just me struggling which sounds bad as I am equally sorry to hear that others are finding it so hard too. @GettingUntrapped, I think youare right re people not acknowledging the impact on working mothers in particular (in the main part anyway). The load has been unbearable on top of last year too. Like you @Forestdweller11, I have no capacity at all. I hope you found something for tea.

Thanks for your kindness @niceupthedance .

@Sobloodyexhausted, yes, I went for a walk today. I was actually in work as the clinic is part of work (I work for a uni). So I met someone I walk with in non C19 times and we talked (about none of this) and walked. I agree about the home, it's been everything. I literally feel I have nothing to give anyone and just lost it last night. I am so exhausted as we all sound to be too.

@HowLongTo2022, I am sorry you are in the stress anxity loop too. Not figured how to get out of that one yet. I know I should eat better and I am trying to exercise a bit but I have little motivation and so behind with work due to the homeschool.

We will see, I feel like an idiot after today and losing it in my appt. I had no idea that this was a surgical clinic at all, I was told it was a dermatological referral so thought someone would just check out the mass. I was then confronted with a cancer checking clinic and a desire to do an hour's surgery. I freaked out big time. I just could not do it as am holding on precariously to the edge as it is right now. That tipped me over. They haev taken photos and will call me to see what the derm says. If it needs sorting I will but at least I can prepare. I felt ambushed and that's generally how I feel atm anyway

It isn;t just you, and of course even good change is yet more change.

Give yourself time, just enjoy having less to actually do and in time hopefully it will improve a little.

I understand how you feel OP, I'm struggling too.

My teenager really struggled with the isolation of lockdown and his MH took a battering which was very hard to see.

He went back to school last Friday, so today is day 2. I was initially so relieved for many reasons: no more home schooling, he finally left the house, he has the chance to socialise with his mates again.

Today I didn't start work until midday, and I actually just sat in bed with the TV on some mindless drivel. It wasn't a pleasant duvet morning- I just felt flat and empty and rubbish, plus angry with myself for not tackling the enormous list of stuff that needs doing, some of which is really important.

to everyone finding this hard.

It's not just you, I came onto MN this evening to look for posts like yours or write my own.

I'm feeling flat, irritated, negative, despondent, tearful, sad, anxious and totally unmotivated. Every day feels the same, I feel so bored of it all. Don't get me wrong, I have got plenty to do, but I'm so bored of it all!!

I feel like I should be full of relief and joy that the children are back to school and I can focus on my job again, but it's not half as wonderful as I thought it would be. I feel very empty and not enthusiastic at all.

I can't even muster any excitement when people start looking forward to more of us being vaccinated and restrictions lifting, I literally don't feel like I care about parties and get togethers etc.

I struggled a bit with my mental health a couple of years ago and had largely dealt with it all and was through the worst of it but this pandemic has brought back phases of significant melancholy.

to all of you out there feeling meh x

Late to this but feel the same. Last week should have been glorious but just felt completely burnt out. And still do. As a pp said, still shell shocked. Feel very angry (rightly or wrongly) at having been put in the position of having to work plus homeschool and just carry on performing at normal levels.

Also finding that I can't relax properly at home as it'a been dominated by work (and the homeschooling).

to everyone else feeling this way

Sorry to hear you feel the same @Parkmama and @inlimboland. I feel very angry too @inlimboland, madness to think we could do it all and continue as pre pandemic levels.

Home is just work and school now. I hope the days ahead are brighter. I did call my GP and have an appt for next week re mental health, I could easily chicken out by then!

I meant brighter for all of us, not just me! Badly worded.

Well done for making GP appointment @goingpearshaped and hope things improve soon (and know what you meant )

I feel low still too - I think a lot of it is maybe SAD for me OP, could this be the case for you? The weather has been really shite so far this year. Try eating lots of vit d rich food and get out in the (even weak!) sunshine as much as possible - I find at least an hour walking each day really helps and also cutting out sugar/eating more healthily has made a big difference to my mood.