To think I made a mistake working there

[Ann12116]

I’m working in same school as my child. I think I made a mistake. I work 4 days and on my day off doing the school run is excruciating. I don’t care what I look like doing drop off I have hair in a mess and probably look like a mess. I feel really awkward as staff members stop me to say hi and some stop me to ask work related questions even tho they know it’s my day off.

I keep thinking what not working in same school as my child would be like, I would maybe feel less stressed doing drop off and pickups.

Anyone else been in this situation? How did you cope and any advice for me?

Am I thinking too much or being unreasonable for just wanting to be mum and not be bothered by work on my day off?

I work in the same school as my child (was all 3 of them at one point but 2 now in secondary). I start at 10.30 and fi ush at 2.30 though so often had people asking me work related questions in the morning and especially in the afternoon. Every time it happened, I just politely smiled and said something along the lines of "oh I'm actually outside of work hours just now and like to keep things as separate as possible. Can you catch me when I'm in tomorrow or email me and I'll get to it when I'm working"

Seemed to catch on soon enough.

Personally, I don’t think it should be allowed.

@Blacktothepink

Personally, I don’t think it should be allowed.

Agreed. Particularly for 1:1 TA’s

Just to clarify I don’t work in the classroom and my daughter does not get any preferential 1:1 support from me! So 2 comments above not relevant.

@Upsidedownfrown thank you for your Brillo advice. Really helps I will try that x

*brillo lol autocorrect - brilliant advice

Just politely tell them it's your day off and you'll be happy to talk about it on Monday. They'll get the message eventually

School runs are stressful on any day off. The school day is so short that you really don't have as much time to yourself as you imagine you will.

Regarding being perceived to be 'at work' when you're just a mum in the playground: you need to be assertive and if you are stopped by another staff member in relation to a work matter just smile and politely remind then that you're not at work and could they catch you tomorrow / on Monday when you'd be happy to discuss.

You are thinking too much... ..
I would always say hello to a work colleagues outside of work... Why not... It would be rude not too...
People asking you about work items... 'Sorry can't stay and chat, things to do... See you monday' smile and run off.

I'm not sure why you mention the way you look on your day off... If you think you should look perfect on a school drop off/pick up... Then that's you putting pressure on yourself no knd else..

Just rock up last minute, grab your dc and say you’re in hurry, can’t stop loads of things to do.

So long as I wasn’t dragged into a meeting or a long discussion, I don’t think I would be bothered about saying hello or being asked a work question in non work time. If it were something that looked time consuming, I would just apologise and say I have to go.

I think you are worrying that you look a mess or you wouldn’t mention it.

Surely as long as you’re not spending hours every morning on your day off talking about work then the benefits of working at the same place you drop off and pick up, presumably term time, outweigh the annoyance? Saying hi to colleagues on your day off isn’t really an issue. Why would it be? Just say you are on your way somewhere in a hurry if you really dislike speaking to these people.

Your school run would be easier on your day off, but presumably much harder on the other 4 days.

Do colleages come out to they playground to fund you? Can't understand how they get close enough to you for more than a brief hello.

It seems an odd thing to be bothered about, I can’t believe you’d change jobs over this! (school based presumably teen time contract? Absolute hen’s teeth everywhere I’ve lived)

It’s ONE day a week.

You say you don’t care what you look like - so, it doesn’t matter.

If someone asks you a work question, I actually think it’s being a total jobsworth not to answer if it’s a one liner.

“Do you know if the Sports Day letters are going out next week?” - Yes they are!

If it’s a longer reply, just deflect.
“What day will the letters be going out?” - not certain yet, drop by the office Monday afternoon - I should know then.

If you’ve got a teacher who is persistent, then tell them you’re not working today. I’m finding that hard to picture though. Teachers are generally quite bogged down by parents leaping on them, plus checking children are getting out quickly.

Honestly, think you’re creating your own stress here. How much more stressful will it be having to drop your child off 4 days a week and then get to work?

@Blacktothepink I 100% agree with you

I don’t agree parents should work at the same school as their child for two reasons.

1. It doesn’t let the child have their own life that’s just ‘theirs’ no mummy or daddy around just them so they can be an individual rather than Mrs.teachers son! If they win a prize or something similar you don’t want people saying ‘you only won because Mums a teacher’

1. It’s a conflict of interest, it’s too close and the wrong decision can be made. I

Well I have work discussions in the playground at pick up too as my DD is at the same school as two colleagues children . I guess it feels different as neither of us are in work - although asking each other work based questions.

I think if it was me I would prefer to keep it separate too.

I think you sound a bit precious, I am frequently asked about 'work' matters when I am not at work by people in the community ... I wouldn't dream of saying 'ask me when I'm at work' ... and I am not in some senior role, I manage a charity shop . People ask me all sorts of things about looking out for books by their favourite author etc ... and I am happy to help out.

And as others have said, I think it's not really appropriate to work in a school that your DC attends.

I get why some people might think it's a conflict of interest and I myself wondered this before taking on a job at my child's school but it has worked out well. My child doesn't get special treatment and they know whilst I am at work I am 'Mrs X'. If however I felt it impacted on my child in a negative way by me working there I would look elsewhere for a job.

Just say "Oh could we deal with this when I'm next in? I'm working on X, Y, Z days so we can chat then."

Or "I'll have to deal with that on Xday, in a rush sorry".

Whatever the issue is can wait, if it can't it needs to be dealt with by someone who's working. Is there someone you can pass it on to? As in tell the member of staff that they can speak to someone else to get it sorted when you're not working?

How long does the school drop take? You’re overthinking.

It would be much harder to drop off you dd and then have to rush off to work. If its a quick question you can answer then do so. If it is something major say you can deal with it tomorrow. You sound like a drama queen.

Some really nasty responses on here. Majority kind and lovely but yes some nasty ones.

@cansu you sound like a drama queen. Seriously? It should be obvious from reading my post that I suffer from anxiety which is a mental health condition. Please be kinder and please educate yourself on how to talk to people who are obviously struggling with their emotions and mental health

Thank you for responses everyone I’m going to ask Mumnet to move to any anxiety related boards on here where I can get a better response

Ds 7 is coming to the school I work in in Sept.Im dinner staff so I won't see much of him all being well.I want him to do his own thing rather than relying on me being there at lunch.

@Ann12116 no, it isn’t obvious. It would have been better if you had stated that, so that they could give replies that reflect it. Are you having / have you had therapy, for example? Have you learned any techniques that you could apply on this non working day?