Have had enough

[HairyChin]

I have posted numerous times under different user names

Feeling absolutely shit.

I have crippling anxiety. Have done for years. Diagnosed depression and also GAD.

History of emotional abuse from my partner as well.

Genuinely not sure where to go with this but I really need to get myself sorted out as this is just hideous.

@HairyChin in so sorry and totally relate as I deal with the same thing. History of abusive relationships and just have had crippling anxiety since my childhood though I just never really dealt with it back then. Have you ever gone to therapy? I know sometimes some of them can be better and it's trial and error

Are you receiving any treatment?

Thank you for your replies.

Hippychick11
I'm sorry you are having a rough time too. It's horrible isn't it.

I am on medication from the Doctor and under the mental health team and am about to embark on CBT. I feel as if CBT may not be the right route.
I need to get to the root of the problem and the centre of that seems to be the abusive situations I have been in and how they have left me feeling. I cannot see how CBT will help.

Guess I just need a bit of a hand hold really as I also keep having intrusive thoughts and dark thoughts and it's absolutely awful.

@HairyChin I totally get where you are coming from with PTSD. I have had it too and it did not work for me as some of my problems were pretty deep rooted. I know that it does help some people though. I'm so sorry about the dark and intrusive thoughts. They are very frightening
Do you find there is a certain time of day where they get worse? For me it always seems to be night time

Feel free to pm if you ever need a chat.

Hi, HairyChin, sorry to hear that you are struggling. I've had anxiety since my teens. I know how hard it is. Hope CBT helps you to feel better. I've tried it twice and it wasn't for me. Knowing that I had CBT homework to do every week and not really understanding it just made me feel worse. It's hard when your problems are deep rooted.

Is there anything that distracts you from the dark and intrusive thoughts?

I'm here if you want to chat 💐

I feel the exact same, phoned the GP today back on citalopram and I’ve to start an online CBT course. I hate feeling like this seriously who would want this. I’m not sleeping properly, my hearts racing and I’m feeling the dread all the time.

Are you still with your partner HairyChin?

This is a really good article on Core Beliefs, what they are and how to identify positive and negatives ones;

www.betterrelationships.org.au/well-being/core-beliefs-self-acceptance/#:~:text=Core%20beliefs%20are%20basic%20beliefs,perceive%20and%20interpret%20the%20world.

Counsellor here. CBT may work depending on whether the practitioner will help you with the trauma you have experienced. At the least they should be able to teach you some techniques to get out of a very adrenalised state. From there you could start to get some balance to look at the more historic stuff.
If you then choose to see another therapist from a different orientation, I would recommend trying to get a reduced place from a therapist on Counselling Directory or Find a Therapist. I see some clients half price and have always filled these places. Many of my colleagues and supervisees do too.

Schema therapy is good for what you are describing as it helps you change the deep rooted patterns.
It's derived from CBT.

Thank you all so much for your kindness. Am sat here in tears.

I am in an abusive marriage. Most definitely not all the time but when it's bad, it's absolutely horrible and tonight it's horrible.

I've actually got to the point ( and have done for a few years ) where I block stuff out. If you were to ask me what had happened, I couldn't tell you. My mind has eradicated it.

Now when it happens I write things down so I can remember. Tonight was shit. Nothing physical at all. Just incredibly verbal.

This is absolutely horrible and I hate it .

Again, thank you all so much for your kindness.

So sorry...

there are lots of use of the word ' horrible' in my previous post...

OP I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds horrible for you and no-one should have to put up with abuse like that. I understand the bit about blocking stuff out.
You don’t have to stay in such an abusive situation. Can you plan to leave?
Sending x

What's your living situation HairyChin? Is there anywhere you can go to get some space?