Health anxiety - I’m really scared.

[user1488481370]

I’m 4 months PP at the moment, my last experience of health anxiety was also around this time PP too so I’m wondering if this is linked. I’m not scared of dying but terrified of leaving my small children and partner and missing out on them all.

I started having flickering in my peripheral vision, especially in bright light. Usually where there were contrasting colours in my peripheral vision (example, our living room has white ceilings with black beams and this is where I first noticed this flickering, only in daylight and where I was stood so that the beams were horizontal, flickering/flashes of light are horizontal too) I am generally a very anxious person. I’ve been to see an optician who said she couldn’t see anything untoward, optic nerve looked healthy, retinal layers etc. Never mentioned PVD which is what I suspected it was. Doesn’t fit with migraines as it happens every time these beams are in view in daylight.

I’ve seen my GP who said sometimes flashes etc happen for no reason. I’ve tried zinc and folic acid supplements, I’ve cut caffeine from my diet, I’ve cut sugar and I still have these flashes. I can’t believe that anxiety alone would cause these flashes and as terrified that I have a brain tumour. I sometimes feel very off balance too and have been having mild, throbbing/pressure headaches which I read could be a symptom.

I just want to enjoy my children but I’m eaten up by this debilitating fear instead. Some days are worse than others and I’ve been really struggling today. I just want these flashes to stop, to go away. There just always seems to be something to worry about, a suspect lump or mole, constant muscle twitching and now visual problems.

I’ve started CBT in the hope that it works but won’t rule out medication. I don’t know whether I should be pushing for further investigation with these flashes. I know they’re most likely benign and my doctor said if there was a mass in the brain than was causing these visual disturbances then I’d have other symptoms and my optic nerve would’ve appeared swollen. So frightening.

It really is horrible when you are worried that something is wrong but, take reassurance from the fact that you have been examined by an optician and a Dr who both think it’s nothing serious. (I’m assuming Dr checked blood pressure?)
I think it is pretty common, pp, start worrying that your DC/DH will be left without you and you will miss DC growing up. Step away from google and symptom searching, it always brings up worst case scenario and makes you worry.
I hope the CBT helps and the worry eases soon

Thank you for your reassuring reply @Whatwhyhowwherewho. My BP was checked and was slightly elevated (142/75) but it often is when I’m at the doctors. It’s another thing I have anxiety about but I’ve been sent home with a BP monitor and it’s usually hanging around the 110/75 mark. I can get obsessive with that though so have to watch the amount of times I use it. I’ve used it that much in the past that it’s given me pins and needles and numbness which caused me more anxiety.

Yes definitely common, it was my main worry after middle DD was born too. I’m trying to keep away from google. It’s so hard though. But B yes, always worst case scenarios on there! Thank you, me too.

Read this about the sympathetic nervous system. Knowing what's going on in your body as an automatic response to your fear will help you understand that's it a normal reaction. Hopefully, by knowing that you can control it - search for breathing and total body relaxation exercises to find ones that work for you.

Oops, forgot link! www.livescience.com/65446-sympathetic-nervous-system.html

@Sarahlou63 that’s really interesting. Thank you. Makes a lot of sense too.

Wow I could have written this. Since having my little girl (she's 16 months now mind) I've developed this on my eyes! Flashes randomly and I've also noticed floaters which I have never suffered with before having her. Same as you... GP and optician said everything is healthy and I don't particularly fed anxious anymore and it still happens!
If you'd like to reach out for a hand hold I'll happily keep in contact :)

Have you checked your iron levels? Caused me some really weird visual disturbances when I was anemic, just a thought.

@FirstTimeMother88 that would be lovely, thank you!

@amylou8 I think I’m going to ask for a blood test to rule any deficiencies out.