How to recover from a nervous breakdown?

[chickenhouse]

After an ex has run a smear campaign on me I'm a wreck. I had a totally bizarre few weeks where it felt like I was having an out of body experience all the time. I couldn't switch my thoughts off and 24/7 they were racing no matter what I did - exercise, meditation, journaling, nothing helped. I couldn't sleep well, and I'd wake up with my heart racing. I couldn't stop crying and honestly at some points I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. I wasn't "there" when I was talking to people. So I'm slowly getting back to "normal"...but its left such a huge dent in my self esteem and general happiness. I wonder if this happened to me, what is so wrong with me that I became a target for this?

How can I get better and recover? I'm so relutant to reach out for NHS help because I know the wait times will be long for talk therapy and I'm not keen on drugs (have taken anti depressants before and hated it).

Bump

First, well done for getting through it, and second, nothing is wrong with you. The problem is all with your ex.

In my area you can register online for CBT I think, and the wait times for something like that might be shorter? I think it's worth registering, even if you eventually don't take it up. Just registering will give you the knowledge that there will be something coming up to help.

In the meantime, have you got friends or family? If not, please make sure you go out for a walk, for at least half an hour, each day. Having the sky above you rather than a roof is massively helpful for some reason. Do you have a garden? Or a balcony? Get yourself some seeds and start growing some flowers. Really pay attention to them - it will make you feel so good when they start to flower. Sounds all such small things I know, but these things are important in just finding peace.

Hi OP.
I’m sorry to hear this.
I can identify with what you describe- for different reasons.
I’m on antidepressants and have had counselling for ages. It was actually EMDR therapy that sorted out my PTSD. And it sounds like you have PTSD.

Can you afford private counselling? I pay £30 an hour (which is cheap) and EMDR cost £70 an hour - but it was highly effective and I only had 6 sessions. I’m trying to Sue the organisation who caused my issues as it cost me so much personally and financially. I’m a SAHM with a seriously disabled child and can’t work, so I couldn’t afford it in one sense.
If personal counselling is out of reach, the NHS wait list will possibly be worth it.. you need relief from the experience.
I’m not trying to be negative but yoga/exercise/ mindfulness might not always help with a deeply traumatic experience. It doesn’t matter how much you talk to friends etc. Or how other people see your experience. This might need to be tackled in many ways.

Which antidepressants have you tried? Sertraline is the most useful for ptsd or serious trauma I think (I’m on it and it sort of kept me together to get through the day)

Sorry to read this - wish I could give you a hug! I think most important thing is putting yourself first, listening to your body and being kind to yourself. If meditation is too much - maybe try a podcast or audiobook, or something outside yourself you can focus on. The bilateral repetitive motions of walking /tapestry/similar are good for enabling your brain to process stuff.