Riddled with guilt all the time over everything

[Cw2307]

Im a single mum of 2. 27 years old. Had a bad break up last year with the father after 5 years together. It was for the best in the long run as he was horrible to me (cheated, made me feel worthless, unappreciated, often told me i was fat) i am now in a relationship with someone new who is the complete opposite, hes fantastic and my kids have recently met him and hes great with them.. But this past 2 or 3 months iv not liked myself.. Physically i cant look at myself.. Iv lost 2 stone since September through hard dieting...but i dont feel like its enough.. When i eat i feel guilty and now treat food as fuel and try and have the bare minimum just so iv had something..but anything more than i think i should be allowed i instantly feel guilty and hate myself and then punish myself by not eating until im starving.. But it doesn't stop there its the same with if i buy myself something.. Ill treat myself then instantly feel regret and guilt.. It can even be something so small that cost a couple of pounds..if i take the day off work for a break..(im allowed to) Again I just feel horrible about myself so will then take on extra shifts just to make myself feel better..im unsure what i want from this post.. Maybe a bit of advice on how to get out of this mind set and start liking myself 😞

Hi OP. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I can't offer any informed advice but have you thought what kind of example you want to set your DC in terms of wellbeing and looking after yourself? It's ok to treat yourself but a day off isn't a treat, it's essential. You need to look after you so you can look after them.

I don't know if that's helpful but I didn't want to read and run.

I've recently started CBT due to this same thing and other reasons. I would feel guilty about anything I did for myself and was really affecting my mental health. Feel free to message me if you have any questions

I think almost all mothers live in a constant state of guilt! Whatever you do, you feel bad as it's not possible to be a SAHM and a working mum and never be cross qnd always be fun and not tired etc etc all at once. It's even harder as a single parent and I struggled a lot initially due to being a perfectionist. Accepting that good enough is ok is so important. Looking after yourself and taking time for yourself so you are rested and sane is not selfish, it is better for your children as well as for you.

Ultimately your children will be happy it you are happy, so you need to look after yourself and stop beating yourself up. Life without self-care and some peaceful days and the odd treat would make you miserable and therefore them miserable too. You have nothing to feel guilty about, cut yourself some slack.