Anyone else with OCD intrusive thoughts?

[Ilovedogs1]

Hey everyone,

  Just wondered how others with OCD are doing atm.  I've had OCD since I was a child. Many many different themes. Mine always seems to be 'what if' doubts. 'What if' I ran that cyclist over, 'what if' I punched that old lady in the shop, 'what if' i tried to snog my boss  etc etc.

Deep down in the rational part of my mind I know it's all bo**is and related to anxiety but when in the grip of it it's hard.
I am presently going through a period of doubts about stuff I've been through before. I keep reminding myself I've been here before many times and it got better but the anxiety is really hard going.

Thanks for reading

I have - I think I have always had them (without realising) but after the birth of DS I was plagued with them and they were so scary and horrible.

I was diagnosed with PNA/D and prescribed Citalopram, which I am still taking at a lower dose. I still get them but ignore and they do go away.

Btw after reading I think I have 'pure O', which I realise is not a medical term. It describes what I experience though

Hi,

I actually suffer from intrusive thoughts also and only recently learned it is a form of OCD (didn't know much about it).
I've always been nervous and anxious and my thoughts are always picturing the worse scenarios which could happen such as, falling down the stairs holding child. Taking a buggy off the train and getting caught in the gap.
They seem so far fetched in hindsight, but during these thoughts they seem so intense/terrifying and also likely to happen. It is exhausting mentally!
Have you seen/spoken to anyone like a therapist or anything?
Hope you're okay. Just keep focusing and taking comfort in the fact that it's a period of time that will pass.

@Livpool

I have - I think I have always had them (without realising) but after the birth of DS I was plagued with them and they were so scary and horrible.

I was diagnosed with PNA/D and prescribed Citalopram, which I am still taking at a lower dose. I still get them but ignore and they do go away.

That's really strange because I've always had this way of feeling/thinking. I have memo

So strange isn't is @PinkLillies18. I saw a great therapist who said something so simple "you are not your thoughts, and they are not you".

I had quite a traumatic birth which ended with an EMCS. In a way that kickstarted my recovery

@Livpool

Btw after reading I think I have 'pure O', which I realise is not a medical term. It describes what I experience though

Sorry didn't finish message. *memories of having to do everything in bouts of 4. Not sure if this ties in with now being obsessive thoughts...

@Livpool

So strange isn't is *@PinkLillies18*. I saw a great therapist who said something so simple "you are not your thoughts, and they are not you".

I had quite a traumatic birth which ended with an EMCS. In a way that kickstarted my recovery

That's what happened to me! I had DS in a special care unit for over a month after and the GP prescribed me with citalopram but I took myself off them after a few months. Hope your DS is healthy and well :) x

Sounds right @PinkLillies18. I used to read a specific book to calm my thoughts. I would also recite names in alphabetical order in my head.

That sounds so strange written down.

I think everyone gets weird thoughts but most don't pay them any attention so they may be aren't conscious of them. Lucky them!

I am much better now

DS is 5 now and thankfully done despite me going mad for a short time

I hope your DS is well also xx

Hi

Thank you both for replying.
Yes I have had CBT and I'm on sertraline. I seem to have decent periods of time when I'm quite well but when the episodes occur the anxiety is bad. Most of my intrusive thoughts seem to involve me causing harm to others in one way or another which I would never want to do. I guess that's why there intrusive.
Livpool do you mind me asking what your intrusive thoughts were about?

Yes. Mainly along the lines of ‘if I don’t do [insert stupid ritual], then whatever thing it is I’m currently worrying about will happen’. The more anxious I am, the more diligent I have to be. So, for example I have a ritual before going to bed, which involves checking and placing things in a certain position and order. If I do it ‘wrong’ I need to start a single step again, but if I’m even more anxious than usual I may need to start the whole thing again and I’m tougher on what constitutes ‘wrong’. And the more times I get it wrong, the more anxious I get...

I’m not on medication, but probably ought to be.

I do have the sort of thoughts you mention too, but they don’t cause me the same distress and I think they’re pretty normal. I forget them quickly. At the moment I find myself on video calls at work imagining how awful it would be if I started making obscene gestures and yelling abuse into the camera!

To be clear - this sort of thought is not a problem for me, whereas the other type (‘but you didn’t do that properly, so do it again or face the consequences’) is a huge problem. NOT suggesting the first sort can’t be a problem for others.

Yes. I’ve suffered from OCD/depression for years. I’m currently on fluoxetine and can honestly say it’s changed my life. I used to have intrusive thoughts a lot. I have also had counselling and something that stuck with me is to just acknowledge in your head that you are having an intrusive thought. Don’t try to fight it. It’s just a thought and it will go. I still have thoughts sometimes and they are crazy like I will think il just leave this task to another day and my brain will go... if you don’t do it know ur family will die. It sounds crazy written down but I’ve literally had thoughts like this since I was about 10/11 years old !

Hi @Ilovedogs1 I was convinced I was going to go mad and hurt my son. It was awful. My therapist thought it stemmed from anxiety about caring for him and keeping him safe.

I must admit it all feels like something that happened to someone else now. I hope you are feeling better.