Why am I so anxious ? Anxiety worries ?

[Sadgirl28]

I am 28 and had anxiety for so long , and I know why , it’s because when I was a child we lived in a village with no other people so never really had interaction with other people . Now I live with boyfriend on our own in a city !

one example today !
I had a parcel delivered to my next door neighbour because I was at work and I am so afraid to go and knock on their door to get it !!! How ridiculous is that ! My anxiety goes through the roof . I start thinking that maybe they are angry because they had to take my parcel and it happens once a month maybe where they get my parcel because I’m not in and at work . I feel like I have to say sorry to them for having to recieve my parcel and bother them. But inside I KNOW it’s just my stupid thoughts ! It’s like I know it’s not true but something inside me pulls me back from actually doing the right thing ! One part of my brain knows it’s just anxiety and it’s not real and the other part of brain says they will be angry don’t go and pulls me back from doing it . I don’t know it’s just fear of unexpected . So I just wait for my boyfriend to pick the parcel up . I think I don’t do it because I know my bf can do it later . If I had no options I would actually go and do it even when I am scared . But I always have other people do it for me . I just need some advice on how to do simple things like picking up my parcel from next door without being anxious of what they think of me , thank you

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. It sounds like it can be quite controlling sometimes, which must be very difficult to live with.
I'm not trained in dealing with this at all, but just thought I'd offer my thoughts.
For me, knowledge is power, and with something like this, the wondering is worse than the knowing. Right now you're likely tying yourself in knots, wondering what the outcome of speaking to your neighbour will be. It's robbing you of your thoughts - you can't focus on anything else and it's dominating your mind. For me, the only way to stop this would be to take control, and even if it felt like my heart was going to leap out of my mouth, I'd have to do it, just to reclaim my thoughts.
It often helps me to be very open about my feelings - as trying to hide them introduces yet another layer of stress. So, knock on their door, and open with "Hello, I'm your neighbour, I feel really anxious about this for some reason but I just need to get my parcel if that's ok!?" You never know, they might have been dreading a knock on the door, feel similar anxiety and feel reassured about your openness.

Hi, sorry you are feeling this way. There are some free courses you can do online as a first step that help you recognise and challenge these sorts of thoughts. It could be a good first step to Google and see what you can find. I think it's something like silver cloud?