Anxiety - middle of night hand hold please

[Turtle07]

Hi

I’m currently wide awake and in the middle of a horrendous feeling anxiety attack which has been going on since 1am.

I am booked in for an elective c section this coming Monday morning and can barely cope with the anxiety. It’s not the actual procedure (I don’t think) making me anxious, it’s the fear of a night like this again the night before, and the anxiety the morning of it while waiting.

My anxiety affects me very physically. So far tonight I’ve had diarrhoea, severe nausea, have had to take paracetamol for headache, shivering, can’t sleep but exhausted etc. It is truly awful. The nausea is the worst, I feel so so sick.

I’m trying to stay calm, take deep breaths, remember some meditation techniques, but it all feels too much and I’m really spinning out of control :(.

You poor thing, sounds really rotten, but sounds like you are doing all you can to mange the anxiety. It's really normal the anxiety is building as the section gets closer. perhaps google some grounding techniques that can help alongside your breathing x

I’m here x

Where is your partner?

Please please just focus on the beautiful face of your baby and stress will possibly make the baby upset.. try deep breathing and calm music classical/mood music loads on YouTube don't think of the bigger picture take one day at a time

Keep telling yourself nothing can go wrong

I am a fellow anxiety sufferer so I know exactly the feeling you describe. The night before my second C section (quite a few years ago now!) was as you describe (sleepless night on a noisy shared ward and it was a failed induction but I didn't know at that stage if it was considered to have failed, so I was anxious about going into labour already worn out through lack of sleep) and by the time the actual operation came round I was in such a state. But the staff were amazing. The anaesthetist gave me some sort of drug to stop me shaking so that they could get the spinal block administered and as soon as she gave it to me, a feeling of calm descended. They were so sympathetic and so understanding. My only regret is that I waited until then to tell them just what a panic I was in.

During pregnancy I had a dedicated mental health midwife who I was able to contact if I needed help. Do you have anything like that?

Hand hold OP! You will get through this, I know it all feels awful and like all the worst things are going to happen right now. You know some techniques that help you well done for using them so far.

Would it help to try to rationalise it out to yourself? This might not be useful to you but used to help me. You said you’re worried you’ll have another anxious night on Sunday... so what - what would be the consequence of that? Is that a problem? What could you do to reduce that or cope with that? (Eg.... write down the grounding techniques when you feel better so you don’t have to remember them in the moment, for example).

Failing that if that’s not helpful right now - if you just need to get through the moment - and you can accept you’re not going to sleep right now - stop trying to sleep. Do something else physical and mindful (ie you have to concentrate on what you are doing rather than what you are thinking) - cleaning, a skincare routine, craft project, organise the junk drawer, or your hospital bag, paint your nails, whatever is in your wheelhouse (I build Lego models!).

Wow Lego that takes nesting to a whole new level wish I'd thought of that in pregnancy

Turtle07 is there something about a previous labour that's making you anxious?

Lego is great for mental health! At least for me. It has instructions to follow, you have to concentrate on it to find the right piece and put it together, it has a logic and order to it. Same as a jigsaw puzzle or adult colouring book - it’s a mindful activity and very calming, at least for me! Distracts me from inventing things to worry about it when I’m concentrating on finding that elusive small brick! I also have a stack of small craft projects that work similarly for me - a bead kit to make a bracelet or a mini cross stitch kit for example, each takes about an hour or so and you have to concentrate on it whilst you’re doing it.

The difficult bit tbh is planning ahead and then remembering when the severe anxiety symptoms hit that you have these things ready to help you. I put together a mental health first aid box for myself which included a list of things like this because in that moment when the world closes in on all your worst fears, it’s difficult to remember what you can actually do to help yourself.

Sorry to ramble on your thread OP, how are you doing?

Wow thank you all so much for your kind replies, wasn’t expecting anything on that level at this time of night - thank you.

@silverstrawberryFirst baby so no previous horror story to be making me feel like this. I just generally suffer from anxiety at times, mainly social, but since I got my date for the CS a couple of weeks ago I have been having nights like these. Some nights I can cope and it passes, other nights are like tonight where it spirals and I end up with very physical symptoms. Where it makes me feel so unwell I believe is where my anxiety stems from - I’m now anxious at the thought of feeling anxious because of how crap it’s going to make me feel, if that makes sense?!

@Kintsugi16 he is softly snoring away next to me. He’d be very sweet if I woke him up but I don’t actually want to talk to him about it right now, going to try and blurt it all out on here instead!

@Cwenthryth you’re so right about rationalising - at the end of the day yes, so what if Sunday night I have the shits and feel sick 😂 apart from feeling crap nothing else is going to come of that and when I’m not having a night like tonight I completely see that. I think just when you get into that headspace and physically start feeling it though it’s really awful.

@wellthatsunusual sorry that you had such a hard time with anxiety too. It really has the power to take over doesn’t it. My pregnancy has been consultancy led and at my last appointment I told him how I was feeling and my fears for the night before and he has prescribed me 1 diazepam tablet to take Sunday night to hopefully help me sleep and chill me out. Praying it’s going to work!

Need to just get through these final couple of days and hoping it’s going to pass when the baby arrives. I think I’m scared of that too, that I won’t feel any better when the baby is here and will also have a newborn to care for plus feeling like this?!

Thanks again for your replies x

Hi OP - I had a section two weeks ago - first baby! I was oddly calm until two days before (I also suffer with very physical effects of anxiety - nausea, diarrhoea etc) and had quite a panic just before. What helped was talking to friends who had had sections - one of the husbands said that it was almost a biscuit factory in the sense that it was so routine, the team in surgery just chat about their day while they are doing the operation. I absolutely felt like that - I was super anxious going in and they could all see that, but there was music, everyone was talking about holiday plans and the vaccinations and then there's a "and congratulations mummy! A lovely baby [boy/girl]!" It honestly is so routine to the team that perform the operation, they do so so many, it's almost like the focus is really on getting the neatest wound/scar - it's just absolutely a given that the baby will be fine and you will be fine. The bowel movement a few days later is another story however! The only pain in the whole experience is in that bowel movement and the anti clotting injections they give you after the operation.

I hope knowing the above helps, but focusing on and counting your breaths has also always helped me with anxiety too so do give that a go as well.

Good luck and congratulations xx

Ok from experience I just know your mind will be taken off it when you meet your midwives in labour don't worry about anything they have your back at all times they are really great at what they do

Yes I understand your feeling anxious of being anxious just remember why your doing this you will have another person to focus on soon and keep giving yourself the reassurance your doing an amazing thing for the baby it will all go very quick and soon you will be over it

@onedaysoonish that’s really lovely to read - thank you. Congratulations on your baby, hope you are recovering well. I don’t feel too worked up about the section itself, I’m more nervous about the lead up to it, worrying about feeling sick and awful, how am I going to cope that morning getting ready/waiting our turn to go to theatre when I’m feeling horrendous etc. Silly stuff I know.

Thanks @silverstrawberry xx

I’m here. My daughter just had a c section. Not a planned one but if all went brilliantly and she is fit and healthy. If I had my time again I’d have elective c sections rather than natural birth! I know how anxiety is though. It’s crippling and so horrible to experience. I’m not sure whether there is anything you can take for it whilst pregnant? Even buccal for the nausea? I’m just so sorry for you because I’ve had terrifying nights of anxiety. Far fewer now thank goodness. I hope you’re sleeping now.

You poor thing. I had such bad anxiety when I was younger - it has reduced massively as I've got older. I used lots of breathing techniques and learnt to get a hold of my negative thoughts. Once I had figured out the mechanics of my anxiety it helped me deal with the symptoms. I'm a naturally anxious person but I deal with it better.
One advantage to being old!
Its just so exciting you are going to meet your baby. I don't know anyone who has had a perfectly rested night before birth - often you are getting Braxton Hicks or have pregnancy insomnia. But somehow the body copes and you do this miraculous thing.
The great thing about an elective c section is you get to see the baby so quickly!
Then a day or two in hospital and you'll be home in your own bed. And in hospital you get Frosties!!
So so exciting. You are going to be ok. An amazing mother. Us anxious people deal with so much! We are seriously impressive!

Good luck @Turtle07