Any teachers with BPD?

[Cordelia91]

I've recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Although it's a relief to finally have a name for my condition after years of misdiagnosis/being fobbed off, I'm finding the stigma and misconceptions are making it hard to find other borderlines working in education. I have disclosed to my school about having BPD and they have been incredibly supportive- as a result, I am fairly open about having BPD with the staff at my school. Is anyone else in teaching with a BPD diagnosis and how are you managing your condition? Have you disclosed it or not and how does it affect you, if it all, with teaching?

Do you.mind me asking how you found out you had BPD? I Have some of the symptoms but been told I have cptsd...

I also work in a school, as a TA!

Funnily enough that was my initial diagnosis! It changed after my DH rang the doctor to get me an appointment after he became concerned about my behaviour and paranoia, and the psychiatrist I was referred to confirmed it was BPD. They were very reluctant to do so, though, they mentioned waiting times and the stigma attached to a personality disorder. They offered me Fluoxetine, which hasn't been tremendously effective, and said they prefer to offer medication before therapy as often medication helps enough for most borderlines to lead a normal life. So most people with BPD who cope with medication don't get any further support. I'd definitely ask for a referral if you think it could be BPD. There is a lot of overlap in symptoms between CPTSD and BPD but the fact I was misdiagnosed initially led me to become a bit of a mess because the BPD was going unchecked.

Do you mind me asking what symptoms you felt were BPD as opposed to CPTSD?
I have emotional dysregulation I've been told. All this only came to light when I had my son and I had a breakdown...I didn't realise anything was wrong with me until I had help!
Now. I feel like I could be either, or both!
I do worry about the stigma of BPD.
Have your work colleagues been supportive?

Sure! Things are under control now but my pre-diagnosis symptoms were rapid mood swings, self harm and suicidal ideation, fear of abandonment, anger and irritability. I have ongoing issues with impulsivity (I've had issues with binge drinking and binge eating, and still struggle with impulsive spending) and paranoia linked to my fear of abandonment. This manifests itself in jealousy of other women and a near constant suspicion my DH is cheating, although I have never had any genuine reason to believe he would and he reassures me of this all the time. I have got better over time though. I also experience obsessive thoughts and splitting, I either love someone or hate them and it's not unknown for me to go back and forth between the two extremes. At work I'm fine as I'm so busy I'm constantly occupied which means I have less time to focus on my BPD traits, and I find teaching fills that chronic emptiness that borderlines often speak of because I love my job so much. For some reason despite my condition, I never get triggered by the kids, only other adults. I think the main difference with the CPTSD is that I am so changeable and I definitely had issues with self-identity in the past and adopting the identity of whoever I was with (I even changed my religion for one partner). Work have been amazingly supportive and kind. Their view is that I'm a brilliant teacher (their words not mine, haha) and it doesn't change anything, except if I need reasonable adjustments. I'm actually open about my BPD with all the staff and it's not an issue at all. Obviously I don't tell the kids. They'd probably be fine with it too, parents not so much I suspect.

Hello! I’m a primary school teacher with BPD. I have been in desperate search of people who are teachers with BPD too. I disclosed my diagnosis to school after employment as I was diagnosed in the July before I started working there but I was appointed in May, if that makes sense? I’m an RQT+1 this year. Not everyone at school knows but some do, including the HT. I thought everyone was really supportive until recently where I feel incredibly misunderstood. I hope we can connect. I am on Twitter too with the same username.

Hi OP,
There is an organisation called Black Dog mental health peer to peer support. Give them a go and good luck!
I do agree that BDP is very misunderstood. The main misconceptions are that you have it for life (not always so people can be racist and no longer meet the criteria) and the other thing is this some how many do you have a unfixable warped personality and cannot be trusted or changed. If you meet this ignorance, you could suggest people undergo neurodiversity training …to help them better understand different peoples conditions. All the best!

*reassessed! 😂 …so sorry!

Secondary teacher here with BPD. its hard but my job is actually a huge protective factor for me. It stops me going completely off the scale as I know there will be consequences in my career I was diagnosed last year and did alert the school to this. They've been very supportive. Hang on in there.

Can you tell me what reasonable adjustments you have? I’m going through the process now and would like some knowledge on the subject. I also teach HS English and just recently discovered bpd

Reasonable adjustments: time off for hospital/psych appointments which should be standard anywhere really, able to leave at the end of the school day on the dot instead of working til 5.15pm as contracted when switching meds (generally they make me very drowsy, so the school let me leave early to sleep- I don't do this every day though), group changes to remove students who trigger me (victim of sexual abuse, so kids who have said sexual things to me have been moved to other groups), teaching with doors open, always having a member of staff free who I can call to cover for a few mins if I'm feeling overwhelmed or feel the start of dissociation. Also not being required to teach triggering topics in PSHE, cover is always arranged in advance (it can cause severe dissociation). I actually have some of the hardest groups in the school as I find I work well with the most difficult kids, but there is another teacher at my school with BPD who is the total opposite and she has reasonable adjustments to only teach KS3, as the more challenging kids are just too much. It depends entirely on what you feel you can cope with. When I'm at my worst, I can hear voices or noises out of context (nothing sinister, it's just an annoyance hearing background noise), so I prefer noisy classes as it drowns it out, so I tend to have the livelier classes which to be fair, my colleagues are relieved about as they get the calmer ones! I also have another teacher I can talk to regularly as kind of a mentor. I do think my school are exceptionally good though. I've heard horror stories from elsewhere. Reading that back, it sounds like I'm a bit of a head case but actually I absolutely love my job and have a fair bit of responsibility, including mentoring new teachers. It keeps me sane and I genuinely think I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my job. It gives me a sense of purpose and is so rewarding, even though I work in a tough school. SLT have encouraged me to deliver training on personality disorders and the staff don't really bat an eyelid about it. It's not an issue. I've applied for several jobs since I've been diagnosed, out of curiosity, declaring my BPD, and despite exceeding the minimum requirements (including a school where I trained and which classed me as Outstanding), not had a single interview. The ones where I didn't declare it, I got interviews. It's a sad situation, but there are some good and understanding schools out there.

Thank you. I need help with organization of administrative tasks. It’s too much to keep up with and o get behind on grading and lesson plans, etc.

I've found with that, it helps if you have trainee teachers in your department who can maybe take on some classes while you observe and keep an eye on their planning? Some of my placement mentors used to catch up on work whilst observing me (not at the start when I was terrible, more at the end when I didn't need so much support in class). The vast majority of admin for me comes from being a form tutor, I know that some form tutors have student teachers and NQTs supporting them they can delegate to. The other teacher with BPD went part time which helped a lot too, I don't know if that's an option for you?

Do you mind me asking what dissociation is and how it manifests ? I have a colleague diagnosed with cptsd who talks about dissociation - is this something that occurs in both conditions ?

If you look up Carolyn Springs and PODS you can read about dissociation.

For those asking my understanding is that CPTSD and BPD are both labels used to describe clusters of experience. BPD (any PD really) has been the subject of many reviews and white papers and is a very controversial label in the mental health world. One comes from a more trauma informed rather than biological understanding of how distress comes about and how recovery happens. A psychologist and a psychiatrist would tend to approach your care (and label) very differently.

Have you read the DMS to see if it fits?