Im shaking thinking of going to work tomorrow and am in tears..this isnt right is it?

[FrightOwl]

Ive been treated for anxiety before now and this feels exactly the same. things are going really badly at work, im having more and more heaped on me, i already cant cope, im being made to feel bad because i cant cope. noone seems to be listening to me.

im worried because i know that the next time someone there says something to me about doing more work i am quite likely to explode and break down in tears and i cannot lose my job. i am right on the edge.

Is your GP sympathetic? Can you get an appointment tomorrow with him or her and say what you have said here? I think you need to get signed off from work in the first instance to get some head space. Is there anyone sympathetic at work you can speak to?

gp will be yes, have a long history of anxiety, depression and panic attacks. ive felt this building up the last couple of months and ive tried to tell people but noone is taking any notice. the panic attacks have come back now too. ive tried really hard to snap out of it but i dont think i can

I don't think you can snap out of panic attacks. Please talk to your GP. Have you been working at the same place for long? If so you should be entitled to sick pay. Is it just the job that's making you anxious or other things as well?

I agree with pinkteddy, please see your GP, perhaps then, when you are feeling less anxious you could look for a different job.

Oh Frightowl, please go and see your gp tomorrow.

Can you speak to your manager about the quantity of work - he/she has a duty of care and you should not feel like this.

Are you normally happy at work? If not you may want to consider changing your job/employer.

Years ago I worked for a company and I now recognise that I was being bullied but at the tiem I didn't feel I could leave. My self confidence and self esteem took a major battering - please do something / speak to someone before your situation gets worse.

You need to get signed off in the first instance, and get some counselling.

Is there anyone at your work you could speak to, a friend, a union rep, HR, a sympathetic manager (not necessarily your own manager, but someone who could act as an advocate)?

Also do give your boss/your company the chance to understand - they may not realise how you feel, if you explain the situation they are likely to be more sympathetic than you realise (or is there back-story with them being shit about this kind of thing?)

just reread and realised my post sounded a bit brisk and business-like! I wanted to add POOR you - huge sympathy, and I hope you get the help you need from work and/or GP.

its not really their fault, we're short staffed and all under pressure. but im the only single mum with young kids and i cant physically do anything more than i am doing, ive told them this

i feel like my head is going to explode, im so angry all of the time, im snapping at the kids when i get back, crying all the time. ive been having headaches and throwing up. im in such a state and just cant face it.

Frightowl, I don't wish to seem unsympathetic but actually it is their fault if they do not have their staffing levels right, particularly if this has been ongoing for sometime.

You must speak to your manager / HR to let them know how you are doing. You must also ensure that you keep your manager informed if you are struggling.

I have been put upon in the last 6 months and whilst I don't want to appear either unhelpful or incompetent. I now say to my boss that I would love to help but can I get assistance with another part of my job alternatively could X person assist to ensure Service levels are maintained and effictively managed. The result is we have 3 new staff members on the team!

Good luck

thanks kd, i asked for help but have been told that the powers that be have refused to recruit any more staff.

i cant get rid of the feeling that they think im princess tippy toes, im not. im happy to muck in and do the rubbish jobs too, they know this, but now they want me to work more hours which i cant do.

Frightowl I don't think our paths have crossed before but I just wanted to send you a big hug because the title of your thread really struck a chord with me. No, you shouldn't feel anxious about going to work and it definitely shouldn't be making you feel physically ill and IMO being short staffed is your employers fault so they should be coping/dealing with the stress this has caused not you.

I have been in the same position as kd73 I was bullied at work for a number of years, in the end I would travel one and a half hours to get to work (I was working in London at the time) but when I got to the building's front door I would turn round and go home without setting foot inside. Please get some help before its to late preferably from your GP and employer, sadly I didn't after 3 years my GP advised me to resign saying it was my health or my job I left with no self-confidence or self-esteem, clinical depression and extreme anxiety. Unfortunately my bosses didn't want to upset the bully so weren't much help being a very well known public service organisation they should have known better.

So you really do have my sympathy and good luck for tomorrow, its ironic really the more pressure they put you under the more stressed/anxious you will become - understandably, so you will not be able to function at your best so going round in a vicious circle.

Just read your last post I was single at the time so could just about survive on benefit -I really think you should talk to your GP but I don't know if being signed of sick would cause more problems at work - sorry I'm not much help.

Take Care x

Frightowl, I just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow whatever your decision.

In the meantime, I hope you can start looking for another suitable position elsewhere.

I would get some legal help as well. If you are a single Mum, they are being unreasonable in expecting you to increase your hours just like that (unless your contract includes this, or you have been doing this regularly). My employment law knowledge is a bit hazy, but the law is on your side on this one and you should be able to get some help if you need it. Perhaps the Citizen's Advice bureau could help you.

I agree with crayon -you should get some legal advice. What area are you in? There are lots of free law clinics that may be able to help.

i cant even think about getting legal advice right now, my head seems so mixed up i dont know where i am. ive had nice texts from people today..im sure they think im skiving because they know they upset me.

i have an appointment with gp, a couple of neighbours have been around today to see how i am. its ridiculous, normally i would feel like an attention seeking wuss but im past caring.

im sure when i feel better i will also feel suitably embarrassed at how im behaving. i will be embarrassed in rl and on here too. i dont know, it all seems a bit hazy. today i have done almost nothing but stare at the tv but im not really watching it? i feel nervy and jumpy and not really sure what's going on, feel somewhat floaty and confused?

many thanks for your support i really appreciate it.

Frightowl please don't feel embarrassed you have no need to and you are definitely not an attention seeking wuss, even though you may not believe these comments at the moment, IMO being honest and open about how you feel takes strength and is not a sign of weakness or giving up. People on here and in the real world care because they want to not because they have to, hopefully you have friends or family who can help with the children as well as look after you. The way you are feeling today sounds like clinical depression but I'm not a Doctor - I recognise everything you have described, after 10 years I am lucky as I have more good days than bad. I also went through a period when I thought I was a mind reader and knew what other people were thinking this was just a symptom of my depression.

I hope things go well with the GP I would really like to know how you get on but please tell them what have you said on here or print it off.

I would say forget about work for the moment but I know how hard that must be, I'm sure somebody will be along with more constructive advice.

Take Care and a Big Hug x.

Gawd Frightowl I posted something similar very recently. Had a horrible 2 weeks and still not feeling totally settled. I totally sympathise with the stress and the misery added to the fact that you can't do without the job financially. Even down to feeling like you aren't pulling your weight when there's a lot to do because you simply can't do any more. I do more than my contract states but I do it when and how I can - anymore than that will impact on my family life. It's a horrible situation. It's not your fault if you are short-staffed.

I think you need to speak to your manager. No matter what the reasons he can't force you to handle more than you can. Tell him that you are thinking about going to your GP for help, so that he realises you are serious.

I agree - go to your GP, get signed off sick for a couple of weeks - take a break relax - and then discuss properly and seriously with your manager.

Your manager has a duty to listen to what you are saying and should not be putting you under undue pressure or compromising your health. (legally speaking)

have been to the doctors and am told i have anxiety and depression. strange because the anxiety bit i get, but i didn't think i felt depressed. had a scary moment when i went to get some shopping. i was ok until my friend left me, sort of stumbled around a bit and picked up some essentials. ive never passed out in my life but at the till, i suddenly sort of went blank and felt my legs going. then i was sweating and shaking. i got into the high street and wasnt sure which way to go home. it was a real effort to pull myself together and as soon as i got off the main road i had to phone someone which got me through until i got home. i dont know ive ever been so glad to get my key in the door.

it comes and goes. i can feel completely normal one minute and a while later im shaking uncontrollably and crying, different to a panic attack. my mind keeps wandering off. its horrible. i dont feel angry though for the first time in months so thats perhaps a good thing. i still have the vague feeling of being a wuss, and think i should be pretending im ok even though i know that wont work anymore. if i do that its just going to make things worse.

frightowl, I've just seen this thread and am so sorry you're feeling like this, but glad you have seen the GP.

My work made me so anxious before coming off on maternity leave in April, that I still haven't been in to see them with the baby, and she is now 22 weeks old. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and had AND and now PND.

I also suffer from moments of vagueness and it is really scary, so you have my empathy . I can be talking to, say, a checkout lady, and halfway through the conversation, have absolutely no recollection of what I've just said. i think it's cos I'm so panicked that I just witter uncontrollably. It also makes me feel really dumb, iyswim. I'm a well educated professional, yet I feel like a 16 year old airhead and worry that tyhat's how I come across to people.

I am starting to feel much better emotionally though, after about 7 months on ADs, so hopefully the vagueness will improve now in time.

I hope you've been signed off for a bit so that you can get yourself sorted. It will get better; and oif you can get some counselling or see a mental health professional of some sort, so much the better. Our HV team has a MH nurse attached, and she is doing wonders for me t the moment.

Hugs to you and I hope yu feel better soon.
xx

Is there someone at work you can talk to? It really is in their interest to get this sorted because if you go off sick they'll be even more short staffed. I say this not to make you feel guilty but to point out that it is easier for them to help you get sorted than to manage without you.

You also need to try and get things in perspective, in the nicest possible way. Can you go into work, do what needs to be done, and quietly assert yourself to say what can't be done? It is your manager's job to ensure that the work is done if there is too much. He or she is paid extra (partly) to organise workload. If he or she does not listen, send a concise, polite email telling them in advance what you feel realistically able to do.

You need to get some control back over your workload. And while you are at it, can you start actively looking elsewhere?

You may feel more positive if you start taking control over your working life. You may need a job, but it doesn't have to be this job.

FrightOwl I've only just checked the thread but I just wanted to say I'm really glad you've been to see your GP and send you a big hug for finding the strength to go, only thought you might be depressed as I recognised a lot of the symptoms you were describing. I really wish you well hopefully you will now get the help you need with your job as well as your health, please let us know how you get on, take care x.

Hi Frightowl, did your GP sign you off work for a bit? I hope so. If not, you should go back and ask for that. Sorry to be abrupt - baby just woken up again.