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Anxiety - but worried I am making it out to be worse than it is?

11 replies

LoopyLouLawson · 22/02/2021 13:52

Just a bit of history - I have always been an anxious person - if someone was in a bad mood, I would assume it was due to me and would work hard to think of what I had done and try to "fix it". I would also at times, have a sudden thought in my head - usually work related - that I had done something wrong (when logically I knew I had not) and would spend hours or days worrying over it and unable to relax until I was next in work and able to check all was ok. That was just me - who I was.

The last 6 months or so this has become so much worse.

I work for the NHS and am a line manager - the first 6 months of the pandemic was hard - and my team were all concerned about redeployment, personal health etc - and I kept everyone calm and going - and we were ok - it was hard due to the manager being off long term sick and the other staff on my lvl being off for various reasons, so I had to take more on in that sense too - but I did it and cracked on and had great support from another member of staff who worked in our department but outside the team.

Everyone had come back in the last 6 months, and we have increased our activity and team started to relax again and feel like the looming threat above us was gone.

However I seem to have gone the other way.

I am constantly anxious and on edge all the time. I have a constant nervous feeling in my chest and it never goes away. Even at home I am worrying about the next day. I feel close to tears a lot of the time. I struggle to get to sleep and if I wake in the night I do not get back to sleep easily as I wake up feeling anxious.

I have at times stayed at work long past the time I should have left to double and triple check things - and have on occasion been half way home and a sudden thought has just jumped into my head "you did not check this.." and I know intellectually I did, and argue with myself that of course I did, but cannot get rid of the panicky feeling and have had to turn back around and check.

The slightest thing can happen at work, and I will overthink and panic about it and just build this entire scenario in my head where I am convinced I am going to lose my job/end up in court. - for a situation that no one else even notices really. I will worry about this for days, feel sick, irritable over it - while at the same time arguing with myself that I am just being stupid.

I have been unable to eat at work as I am so tense, my heart racing and have checked my HR at times, and it has been between 120-140.

I do have asthma and have had to have an increase in inhalers and medications - mainly as one of my triggers has always been hot air - and with the mask on, when it is warmer at work I do struggle wearing a mask for 12 hours plus a day - but my Asthma Nurse did at my last review suggests that what I am thinking is an exacerbation in Asthma might at times be a panic attack. At the very least if I am feeling anxious it is exacerbating my asthma.

I used to wish for an accident on the way to work - something that only hurt me - just so I would not have to go that day - but what actually scared me a couple of weeks ago was when I was making a cup of tea and the thought came out of the blue that if I burned my arm I would not have to go to work the next day and I actually started to move the kettle towards my arm as I was pouring, but then it was like I snapped out of it.

I have eventually spoke to the GP - who has signed me off for a couple of weeks and started me on Fluoxetine - I also have an assessment appointment on Wednesday with a counsellor.

But now I keep thinking - I have no right to be feeling like this - I was not redeployed to ITU - people have had it a lot worse than me - who am I to be feeling like this. Maybe I am making it out to be worse than it is? I am just going to waste the appointment on Wednesday when someone who is worse than me really needs it. I am not at work but I feel so guilty for not being at work at the moment I am feeling worse than before.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2021 13:55

Could peri-menopause be the reason? Anxiety/increased anxiety is a major symptom.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 22/02/2021 14:00

Well, regardless of why or how 'reasonable' it is, you have become unwell. I think you need to speak to your GP before this turns into full blown OCD or other clinical mental health issues.

Many people don't have a 'valid' reason for mental illness but that's because people assume mental illness is the fault of someone or something. It's like saying only the old and reckless get broken bones. It's just an illness that happens and needs to be dealt with rather than buried.

Riv12345 · 22/02/2021 14:06

I feel for you I'm exactly the same.
Also like you when I feel people abit "off" I try to fix it then worry about them.

I health anxiety also work on the nhs wards.
My anxiety has been through the roof, I phoned my GP back last year and told her how I'm feeling, she upped my antidepressants and told me to make sure I'm washing my hands at work etc
Tbh it didn't help.
I was my hands all the time, I'm wiping everything down with clinnel wipes even answering the phone with one!
I still got covid. But was mild thank goodness.
I always get a tight throat when I get anxious.
Just wish I could relax more.
You are not alone op xx

LoopyLouLawson · 22/02/2021 14:18

@Aquamarine1029

Could peri-menopause be the reason? Anxiety/increased anxiety is a major symptom.
I am 40 this year so it is not unreasonable.
OP posts:
LoopyLouLawson · 22/02/2021 14:19

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

Well, regardless of why or how 'reasonable' it is, you have become unwell. I think you need to speak to your GP before this turns into full blown OCD or other clinical mental health issues.

Many people don't have a 'valid' reason for mental illness but that's because people assume mental illness is the fault of someone or something. It's like saying only the old and reckless get broken bones. It's just an illness that happens and needs to be dealt with rather than buried.

I have seen the GP now. My husband thinks it is a self worth thing - I have always had low self esteem and he thinks I have convinced myself I am not "worthy" of help. Maybe he is right.
OP posts:
LoopyLouLawson · 22/02/2021 14:20

@Riv12345

I feel for you I'm exactly the same. Also like you when I feel people abit "off" I try to fix it then worry about them.

I health anxiety also work on the nhs wards.
My anxiety has been through the roof, I phoned my GP back last year and told her how I'm feeling, she upped my antidepressants and told me to make sure I'm washing my hands at work etc
Tbh it didn't help.
I was my hands all the time, I'm wiping everything down with clinnel wipes even answering the phone with one!
I still got covid. But was mild thank goodness.
I always get a tight throat when I get anxious.
Just wish I could relax more.
You are not alone op xx

Thank you - when you say you wish you could relax more - that is it - I never feel relaxed - I always have this horrible knot of nervous tension in my chest. Always. I just want to get rid of it.
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2021 14:21

My peri start in earnest at 40, with horrible anxiety being one of my first symptoms. If it is peri related, anti-depressants are not a recommended or appropriate treatment for you, and may even make your anxiety worse.

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/menopause-antidepressants-symptoms-worse-hrt-shortage-a9148951.html

i.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

allmycats · 22/02/2021 14:36

Please believe that you are not making out the illness to be worse than it is. You are ill and you need help, you would not think twice about looking after yourself if you had a broken leg. You need to talk with professionals and there is nothing wrong with having a mental illness. Your work sounds very, very stressful and everyone has a limit. It would seem you have tried to go beyond your limit and you need to find a way to back off and have some time to be you. Please, please look after yourself 1st. Take as much time out as you need.

LoopyLouLawson · 22/02/2021 19:16

Thank you all.

I just feel so stupid - worrying about work when I am there, worrying about it when I am not there - have literally had to sit on my hands to stop myself ringing up today to make sure all is ok - and now I am in a panic that I am not actually bad enough to be taking up time with people who can help me!

And I feel so disconnected from the family. Due to covid and the bus timetables having reduced it had been taking me twice as long to travel to and from work sometimes (and it was already an hour journey) on 3 buses - so by the time I do get home I am knackered and stressed and they are all at home together (albeit working and doing school) but I feel on the outside looking in.

OP posts:
Riv12345 · 22/02/2021 20:43

Op if you ever want to pm me please do

LoopyLouLawson · 23/02/2021 14:55

@Riv12345

Op if you ever want to pm me please do
Thank you very much.

I am trying to fill out the questionnaire they sent me ahead of tomorrow's assessment and I am having to make sure I don't downplay things, as that is my MO, to downplay stuff when it relates to me.

I am not a great one for talking tbh - I think I have said "I love you" to my husband maybe twice and we have been together nearly 20 years. Expressing feelings makes me awkward.

OP posts:
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