Can I do this drive tomorrow?

[lionpaws]

Bit of history- I have anxiety over driving on motorways for many year, which started with a panic attack whilst driving.

As I lived in a city there was really no reason for me to drive and gradually the anxiety expanded to out of town faster roads and dual carriageways. Probably over several years

Anyway, lockdown happens and I don't drive anywhere at all. Now I can't even drive myself into town. I know once I get to town I'll be fine. It's more faster sections of road that make me panic.

It's ironic that I have a therapy session tomorrow and I really can't see how I can get there. DH has said he will drive me but that will involve loading DS and the puppy in the car for a 15 mins drive to the appointment and then they've have to wait for an hour before we come home again. I hate relying on him to do this. It feels so stupid and irrational.

I did a five min journey last week and had a panic attach.

I'm just so scared of having a panic attack again. Even if I get there okay, then I've got to drive home again having spent an hour talking about how driving makes me panic! Urgh.

I know case it's relevant, I started going to therapy a couple of years ago for something unrelated to driving but now my therapist is going to help me with this. I have PTSD (unrelated to driving), I'm a worrier generally, over-thinker, and can get low moods and anxiety.

Sorry that's so long.

Can you afford a taxi there and back?

@Bbq1 We could, might be a good option.

I'm half and half thinking 'just do it, it will be fine' and 'you'll definitely have a panic attack'

Getting a lift or taxi seems like an easy way out and like more of a failure than trying and ending up panicking. I realise that makes no sense!

Getting a taxi won't be failing because you are doing the right thing by getting to therapy safely and also having the therapy to help with the issue. That's not failing, you should be proud that you're trying to sort it.

Your DH is willing to help you. I’d let him.
It’s true that avoidance makes it worse but on this occasion (driving to therapy to deal with a driving phobia, and a very recent panic attack), I’d not put anyone in danger.

Get a taxi one leg of the journey and let DH pick you up or take you. Puppy probably needs short car journeys anyway for familiarisation?

@Bbq1 thank you. That does males sense. I really really hope I can get through this. It started so many years ago, it's so engrained. I think you're right, I need help for this first step.

@NoSquirrels I agree, I need to just get to the appointment first. The actual appointment is the first step. A taxi one leg sounds like a good plan. It definitely won't do the puppy any harm to have a short car ride and DS will probably actually enjoy it!

Thanks so much to both of you. I honestly should have dealt with this years ago but, here we are!

Good luck.

@Bbq1 thanks. It was a good session, we have a plan and I feel good about moving forward!

Are you having CBT rather than generalised talking therapy?

@LimitIsUp I'm having EMDR to process some certain events relating to my panic attacks, as well as on me imagining the worst case scenario happening in the future, and then we are going to work on some exposure therapy.

Excellent - I hope it goes well

I hear you OP, I'm an anxious driver but I don't have ptsd so that must be awful for you.
Let DH take you or get a taxi, no pressure.
Then start practicing, put DS in the car and go round the block a couple of times then start going a bit further, get DH to sit with you and practice using slip roads, do it on a Sunday morning early when there's not many cars on the road. Get used to putting your foot down 😉 practise driving to the shops or the doctors.
You can easily get out of the habit and it then becomes really scary 💐

@Dizzy1234 thank you! DH did take me, definitely took the pressure off. Gradual exposure is the plan! I'm determined to beat this 👊🏼 Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.

@LimitIsUp thank you 😊