Anxiety, feeling like I can't cope..any advice

[butteredtoastplease]

I'm waiting for a referral to cardiology for problems with my heart and I am terrified

I have health anxiety but this is a whole new level, I'm crying constantly, shaking, can't think straight, no motivation. I feel like I don't want to be here. I can't do this for much longer, everyday. I'm phoning GP tomorrow. I constantly thjnk I have a tumour, heart problems, am going to die and leave DH and dc. I think about writing them letters for when I do..I know it's not normal

Has anyone else suffered like this and does it get better

I've also got health anxiety and for years my focus was on my heart and I thought I'd drop dead of a heart attack at any given moment.
I had an svt episode which really started off this anxiety and obsession.
Why the focus on your heart?-if you don't mind me asking.
What has enabled the referral?
My advice would be to keep away from bp machines and checking your pulse as these things really made things worse in the long run for me and I became obsessed.

I had cbt which really helped.
Medical investigation provided brief relief but it's really short-term reassurance which sets off a spiral where you want more and more tests in order to 'check'.

Also, bear in mind you wouldn't be waiting for a referral if they believed there was something very wrong with your heart.
They'd have had you seen pronto.

I had a routing ecg and it picked up some abnormal rhythm. I was fine before having this, I only had it because after covid it was routine at the GP. This has set it off for me. I agree about wanting more tests for reassurance - that is me. It's causing problems with DH because he doesn't understand.

Are you ok now @Spied

You've been referred just so cardio can take a closer look.
GP's aren't experts so it sounds like they are covering all bases. If they were really concerned then you would not be waiting.
There's not necessarily anything 'wrong' and there's also a very good chance everything will be normal at your appointment.
Stress, tiredness, foods, caffeine etc can all trigger abnormal heart rhythms but it doesn't mean it's permanent. It can and mostly does revert back without us even knowing and there's a good chance you just happened to be experiencing a rhythm disturbance when you were having your ecg.
Its also worth mentioning that many people have lived their whole lives out of sinus rhythm and that's just their 'normal'. It's not necessarily dangerous.
Regardless, rest assured the G.P is bring thorough, you're not in any danger and if there is an issue, the best people will be able to sort you out.

There's also the chance that if your heart rhythm is still off then your body is simply recovering after Covid and fighting the virus.
Let us know how things go when you get your appointment.

Thank you so much@Spied
I'm just really struggling at the minute

How long has this been going on? Just trying to understand if this is you having a normal reaction to a scary experience of a long-standing problem?

It is really natural to be frightened by an unexpected health issue. It takes away the sense of safety and control you normally feel over your body and your life.

I would focus on taking care of yourself with kindness and reminding yourself that emotions come in waves. Right now you just need to keep riding out the waves until you have more information.

What do you do when you start crying or you notice you're shaking? Do you do anything soothing? Breathing exercises?

@user18467425798532 it's been going on since I had the ecg, I was expecting ecg to be normal and then I was going to go to work straight after. Since being told it was abnormal I haven't been able to think straight and not been in work as I can't stop crying. I just can't cope. I've tried breathing strategies. I'm thinking I need to go back to work to take my mind of things, I'm a mess.

I would suggest going back to work.
If there was any reason you shouldn't go to work then your G.P would have told you.
Your catastrophic thinking is fooling you into believing you have a serious problem and that you are in imminent danger.
I don't say flippantly as I know how terrifying it is but in my experience sitting at home ruminating only served to make things a lot worse.

Thank you @Spied I think that's what I needed to hear. I was thinking before, and I am going to call GP tomorrow and get them to sign me back into work, they signed me off for a month as I couldn't concentrate but I really do think it would do me good to get back to work. Thanks for your reply

Have you been diagnosed with something wrong with you heart?

I went through bad heart palpitations, skipping beats and literally almost passing out when my heart felt strange. I would cry in my doctor's office, I went to A&E multiple times. I've had every test under the sun and when my gp would refer me. They would say they know there is nothing wrong, but it's so that I'll be at peace. I would get perfect results and march back in and say "but when I was wearing the monitor for 42 hours, I wasn't having palpitations so therefore you have missed the problem and something IS wrong". I was never told that I had health anxiety. It was actually anxiety that was causing the physical problems. I am now on anti depressants and I get the occasional heart palpitations and now I just think "eyeroll can you F off!".

So it's more likely there is nothing wrong with you, but reading people's replies will probably only make you feel better until you feel unwell again and you're convinced you're dying. You will be okay. You'll get through this and whatever happens, you're going to deal with it.