Had a call with my psychiatrist today, 6 minute call. I tell him how I’m feeling, some days sort of okay, some days fucking atrocious. That I’m suicidal but not planning anything. He then says that he’ll make another appointment for a month or two. I’m not very confident, so i didn’t argue or anything.
I just feel so fucking awful. I need more support. (I have a private psychologist but We’re finishing up after 18 sessions, and I just don’t think I need to continue with it, I’ve got strategies to help me with some stuff and I don’t feel other stuff is fixable as such it’ll just take time). He said after I’d talked with occupational therapy that if that didn’t work out he’d refer me to the cpn. But he didn’t even mention that. My dads phoning the psychiatrist secretary to ask about the cpn.
And I asked why he wrote severe and enduring mental disorder and he said it’s just a term they use (which I get) but when I asked what the diagnosis is so I have it for my esa form he just skirted the subject, what is he hiding.
I just don’t know what to fucking do. I’m not even sure I’m asking anything, just what do I do. I feel so terrible.