Counselling for Anxiety

[Cookiepops40]

I've just had my 2nd counselling session for anxiety. I've never suffered from it until recently and never had counselling before so don't know what to expect but I've come away from these sessions feeling like I'm not really being offered anything by the counsellor. Its mainly me talking, she repeats back what I've said but I've not actually been given any helpful advice on how to manage it, I would have expected at least to be given some breathing techniques. There is also a fair amount of time where she doesn't say anything at all, I understand she would be processing what I've told her but it feels like we run out of time as soon as I feel like I'm starting to get somewhere. I've no experience of counselling, is this the norm? What should I expect?

I think it might be therapy you want rather than counselling. Worth having a read up on the difference between them and the different types of therapy available.

Feels like this at first.

It’s to make you problem solve and work out the answers yourself.

It takes a while and it is hard work and tiring but it does work.

How old are you, op? I'm just asking because I'm wondering if your new, never before had anxiety might be hormonally related.

There are different types of talking therapy / counselling. Often the terms are used interchangeably so saying 'you want therapy not counselling' can be a bit unclear.

There are some counselling approaches where offering you tools / techniques like breathing exercises just wouldn't be in their remit. And there are some types where it would be appropriate. Did your therapist ask you at the start of your work what you were hoping for, or explain their ways of working? Have you said you'd like them to advise you on specific coping strategies?

It's absolutely fine to raise this with your therapist and discuss it in your sessions. Then you'll be clearer on what you can expect, and make a decision about whether you want to continue.

@Aquamarine1029

How old are you, op? I'm just asking because I'm wondering if your new, never before had anxiety might be hormonally related.

I am 46. I had thought this might be related to being peri-menopausal but I've suffered with mild anxiety for a few years now but had been able to manage it myself previously.

@firebirds I'm seeing a counsellor through a work assistance programme so I wasn't offered any alternatives. I was asked what I hope to get out of it and I did say that I appreciate this is something I need to learn to live with so I would like some coping techniques. They didn't explain how they worked. It might just be me, I'm a pretty logical person and just want explanations for whats going on and how to manage it.

I wonder if you might prefer CBT? That is more about coping strategies than counselling. I recommend Buteyko breathing exercises. HRT might help if you’re perimenopausal.

Sounds like person-centred counselling. And maybe you would be better with CBT which is much more practical. If I were you, I’d talk to your counsellor about how you are finding the sessions. And so much of counselling is about the relationship is with the counsellor. Sounds like you’re not really connecting.

Person centred counselling is not especially useful for anxiety if you want tools and techniques for managing it. You may need a different approach. Find someone trained in CBT or mindfulness based therapy.

What kinds of counselling/ therapy works best for different people does vary. CBT didn't work for me at all bc I wanted to get to the bottom of why I felt a certain way (GAD + low mood/ mild-moderate depression), but it sounds like what you're after. I would second talking to your counsellor about what you would find useful, either they'll be able to do that with you (lots know some CBT techniques even if they're not fully qualified in it) or they'll explain why they can't. In any case definitely ask them about it, bc getting frustrated with a therapy style won't help