Feeling very low

[Lokikitty]

I just feel awful this weekend. I have got to the point where I can't talk at all. I get like this when I am very low. I've had a difficult few months at work. I work in a school. Had this week off and next week is half term.
Being off has helped with anxiety but feeling isolated has meant that I'm now depressed. I'm phoning doctors tomorrow.
Just don't know what to do . I can't return to work until I'm well enough. But can't cope with the isolation when at home.
Tried to keep busy with walking, painting and a few chores. And watching tons of TV.
I have noise sensitivity that gets really bad when stressed. Every little noise is irritating me . I also can't stand to be touched at the moment, so can't give DD a hug.

That all sounds so hard. There are so many people going through the same, not that that helps, but these are the strangest & hardest of days.

Try to just deal with the next hour / next couple of hours, a day at a time. Phone your gp, eat as best you can, sleep as best you can, try to get fresh air, try to keep in touch with people.... If that's all too much just try to breathe & make it through the day.

Things will change. Things will get better xx

Thank you. I wish I could believe that things will get better. I'm not good with changes which is why this year has been hard. My coping strategies have been taken away from me and I still haven't found new ones.

OK so you need to find new ones. You just need 1 or 2 things to hold on tight to get you through... Hopefully gp can help and things will get better you have to have faith.

Look up youtube for some inspirational speakers, even if just 1 or 2 things jumps out those bits of advice are golden.

Here's two I like

They may not be for you. Just a suggestion x

I'll have a look at the links. I haven't been right since my cat passed away last year. And then the pandemic happened. My cat meant the world to me. He was very special.

What was your cats name? He sounds lovely. Can you wear earmuffs or noise cancelling headphones?

I could have written your post OP. I also can't talk for hours when I get really low, and very bad noise sensitivity. I have gone on Sertraline this week after having it in my drawer for months, I'm not suggesting you do this, just letting you know your not alone.

My cat was called Simba. He used to snuggle up next to me to sleep.
I've looked into noise cancelling headphones but really don't know which ones to get. Earmuffs don't help.
I've got a feeling my doctor might give me something like Sertraline to take as well as Propranolol.

www.mynoise.net might help with the sound issue.

I'm very sensitive to noise too. Even just hearing my neighbours talking makes me feel like my space has been invaded. When she sings I could scream!

This white noise generator allows me to immerse myself in nature. The sea on the pebble beach is a nice one, as is the Japanese Garden. They're free. I hope it helps, and I hope you feel better soon.

It's good you're going to be speaking to your doctor. I'd also go in for a bit of radical acceptance. Sometimes we feel shit, and that's ok. Accepting it in the moment isn't the same as giving into it/letting it take over your life. It's a way to give yourself a rest from fighting it. Just for a bit.

I hope you have a good conversation with the GP @Lokikitty, it's hard to see how things can improve when you feel like that, it sounds like a sort of shutdown state? Just take it a step at a time and be kind to yourself 💜

www.mynoise.net might help with the sound

Had a look at that. It looks like it could help. Takes me a while to find relaxation music that helps me because repetitive noises make me anxious.

I've just phoned my doctors. Waiting for a GP to phone me. It was really hard making the phone call.
Trying to motivate myself to go to the shop for food but feeling so exausted.

Have you ever looked into an ASD diagnoses OP? Some of those things sounds like Aspergers. Getting a diagnoses might mean work have to make adjustments for you which could be helpful? Just a suggestion so apologies if this offends. I hope you feel better soon, for what it’s worth, I would be the same if I worked in a school this year

I'm waiting for an autism diagnosis. Could take 2 years. Work won't make any adjustments or even let me see occupational health until I get diagnosed.

Oh bless you, no wonder you feel overwhelmed!! Is there any chance you can go private to try to speed it along?

Also, make a small list of things to achieve today. Give your DD a hug and the food shop can be your tasks for today. I am having a tough time and find this helps.

Spoke to my doctor. She's given me Mirtazapine and I start counselling next week. There's a counsellor at the practice. I've also got 2 weeks off work to give meds time to work.

I have given my DD a big hug, been to the chemist for my meds and got a few bits from Asda. Couldn't face a weekly shop and never done online food shopping.

Ah well done OP, sounds like a really productive morning!! Be kind to yourself

Made a mistake taking the Mirtazapine during the day. Spent the afternoon drifting in and out of sleep 🤣

It's day 3 of Mirtazapine. It might be wishful thinking but the cloud seems to be lifting a tiny bit. I'm taking it late in the evening now. I've woken up with a slight headache but okay other than that. Will hopefully be able to get things done today. I've tried so many antidepressants, I was beginning to lose hope. Maybe Mirtazapine is the right one for me 🤞
I've seen how nasty the side effects of antidepressants are and have found taking meds scary. My new meds are a lot better than others that I have taken 🙂

Good to hear you are feeling a bit tiny bit better. Tough days are these. 💐

I spoke too soon. I woke up feeling a tiny bit more positive. But now sat on a bench in town crying. Feel so scared and alone.