I've just self harmed

[OhToBeASeahorse]

I've never done anything like it before. But ive never felt so trapped in my life.

My second baby is 18 weeks. We say she has reflux. Dr says she doesnt. I've called so many times he now sighs at me. I managed to get a lactation consultant appointment. Her eight had gone from 50th centile to 9th. They diagnosed a TT at 16 weeks and put me on a pumping schedule. Had it cut 10 days ago. She is now following the 9th centile. She had jabs on wednesday. She now hates feeding. She has cried for every feed since yesterday. At night she is very windy.

I'm at my wit's end. Every professional says differently. The dr did relent and gave us omeprazole, we used it for a week but it gave her an awfully sore tummy.

I'm failing my daughter.

Oh no OP. So sorry. My babies are teens and I've forgotten all that wisdom.
Bumping for you.
Please be kind to yourself.

Perhaps a thread title around your baby feeding issues would get some helpful advice too?

I've had some v helpful people but it just seems to get worse. Thank you so much for talking to me

OP, please PM if you want. I have 5 DC, the 2nd one had reflux and it was horrendous. You're being a good and switched on mum to be aware of her needs. The Dr needs to buck up his ideas!!

I've also struggled with selfharm. Please don't, as it's a bad path.

Contact your HV please. I didn't, took me until my DD was 2 years old and I was a total state. She's now 9 years old and fantastic

Your DD will get there, but don't best yourself up.

Hi OP.

My first had severed acid reflux issues. Couldn’t burp and was bringing up milk. 2 months of this and someone told us to use to aptamil comfort. Omeprozole didn’t work. Neither did gaviscon. Within a few days of using aptamil confort she was burping and not throwing up. We used this till about 4.5 months and went back to aptamil and all was fine.

We used infacol and two others (cant remember their names) but nothing worked. Aptamil comfort saved us!

Thanks. She is EBF but I dont know it thats the best thing for her.

My nephew had very similar and is much better since being switched to a goats milk based formula. He was 2 pounds down on his birth weight by 8 weeks old and screamed for every feed, cried for hours afterwards, had horrible reflux so could only sleep upright.

As soon as he switched to this formula he was so much better. Still has to be fed sitting upright and kept that way for half hour afterwards but is hundreds of times better.

Would you be up for trying a comfort formula as pp has suggested? You could maybe mix feed so your baby still gets your milk. In my experience the comfort milks are very good and helped my baby a lot.

You're a great mum, persisting when your instinct tells you something isn't right, be kind to yourself and don't doubt yourself.

As for the self harming, I don't think its allowed to discuss what you've done on here but please do take care of whatever you've done, don't leave it to get worse. If it requires medical attention then please get it. No one will judge you for it.
Do you have support at home? You sound like you're overwhelmed with it all, is there anyone that can give you a break?
I hope you're ok.

OP I would never tell you what to do but if it's making you feel this bad then maybe formula could help. Stay strong.

Hi OP.

Me again. Came back to check how you are? I agree with @Earlybirdmissedtheworm. Can you mix some? I wish I knew about comfort before. Nothing else worked for us. Comfort formula is thicker and breaks down easier than the easier. I think it was something like that.

Have you tried eliminating dairy from your diet - could be a milk allergy??

I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. Please try your health visitor again, or is there another Dr you could speak to?

We’re so sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this, OP. We wanted to share Mind's information with you - it has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Maybe take a look and see if there’s anything which might be helpful right now: Mind

Please do think about exploring some of the options in the link above. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide here.

We're going to move this one over to mental health for you now.

Best wishes from all of us here.

My first baby had awful colic, screamed all evening until midnight, cried in his sleep when he finally fell asleep, it was truely hard work. But at 6months, it miraculously stopped, as I’ve heard is common, so if it’s that, hang in there. He was bottle fed from 3 months.

My 2nd started throwing up her bf milk at just a week old and lost a lot of weight. I started drinking 3 cups of fennel tea a day and that sorted it, and I continued to bf.

Just to say bottle feeding isn’t the one-cure solution. Try to get some sleep in the day when the baby is sleeping, take any help you can (in a support bubble)? And it wouldn’t hurt talking to your doc about pnd.

I found the baby months really hard, and they must be worse in a pandemic without the groups/people around you. Take care of yourself.

Sorry it's taken me a while to come back to the thread.

Furdlyy I'm physically ok, nothing too serious.

Thank you for all your suggestions. I've been humming and ahhing for so long and everytime I've spoken to the dr he is insistent she is healthy, even with the poor weight gain.

I've spoken to DH and it seems we have 4 options

1. Do nothing and hope she improves as she matures
2. Try a comfort formula
3. Wean early
4. Go against the doctor and give her the medicine we had before.

I feel like such a shit mum. I've let her suffer

You haven't let her suffer! Your not responsible for her suffering! Your doing everything you can for her. Please be kind to yourself.

Ask for a second opinion from the doctors. Make sure you are getting regular breaks to rest. And look after yourself. Sending hugs and best wishes.

You’re not a shit mum.
I’m sorry you’re not being listened to by the people who are supposed to help. I know that feeling, it’s horrific.

It sounds very much like your baby has cows milk protein allergy.

You can keep bf if you wish, just cut out dairy products.
I wouldn’t recommend trying a ‘normal’ or ‘comfort’ formula for now, if it’s CMPA having animal milk protein directly could make her really poorly.
Have a look on facebook for CMPA breastfeeding group. It might give you some answers.
Take care

I second the suggestion to remove the dairy from your diet.

I've done that for 8 weeks

Ah crap I’m sorry.
One day at a time. Samaritans are there at the end of the phone 24/7, they saved me and my baby more than once in those shit times.
I hope someone comes along when better advice

Op I feel like I could have written this myself (not the harm bit, I have been there in the past and it's horrible, I really hope you're ok and able to get some support)
My little one has allergies and reflux and tongue tie, it's just been a nightmare, sending hugs xx