PTSD?

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It has been suggested by a health professional that I may be suffering from PTSD as a result of a very traumatic divorce seven years ago.

Some of my symptoms include:

• Flashbacks of the traumatic events which appear at random times
• Very jumpy and easily startled at loud noises, especially in public places
• Feeling scared when people approach me from behind
• Certain smells triggering bad events
• Very frequent and vivid nightmares

Any PTSD sufferers that could comment?

Also, a consultant has recommended EMDR therapy. Does anyone have any experience of this?

Thanks so much for your advice.

Op I'm sorry you're dealing with this, its very difficult.

Those are indeed ptsd symptoms and EMDR therapy is considered the gold standard treatment.

I understand it involves following particular eye movements while thinking of the traumatic memories and, although no one knows why, it desensitises them. I believe its effects are relatively quick, although it may take a few sessions.

You might find this link helpful: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/how-emdr-helped-me/

Wishing you all the best

@TaraR2020 Thank you so much. At first it was suggested I may have BPD but I just didn't fit the criteria. The abuse from my ex-husband has been going on for many years (and still is) but sadly it is often minimised by people supposedly in the "know" as it was never physical. He also presents to people as the charming guy so then are falsely lead to believe the ongoing issues were caused by myself.

The charming persona is pretty standard in abusive men/people, as I'm sure you know. I'm not surprised you've been traumatised by him.

I've seen other threads here by people suffering with ptsd, do a search for them as you'll see lots of people sharing experiences of the condition and hopefully you'll feel less alone.

You may have CPTSD, just because it's often mistaken for BPD. I'd look into that as well.

You tick a lot of the boxes for it. I sympathise with the people behind you thing, I get that too. My physiotherapist and my counsellor are the only people I can handle walking behind me. My physio, because I'm used to him moving around me and touching me when I can't see him since I spend a lot of my time with him, face down on a table to the point where I recognise his aftershave before I recognise his face.

My counsellor because we've spent months working on it. Once I can deal with having him do it in the therapy room we plan to walk round the corner and face one of my worse situations. He is going to follow me up an escalator.

I can't tolerate anyone, else doing it at all. Its a self protective instinct, I think and it's one of the most difficult symptoms to shift.

I don't know anything about EMDR but it's supposed to be very good.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut Thank you for your really helpful advice. I hope your therapy is helping.

I'm finding it so helpful to talk to you all about this because it makes me feel more "normal."

Does this make sense? It happens a lot...

So the other day I was in a supermarket just happily plodding along. All of a sudden one of the shelf-stackers dropped a tray onto another one. I was watching him do it at the time. It made a bang which in my head was very loud. I startled, jumped, went all sweaty and felt sick.

The weird thing is, my trauma has nothing to do with loud noises?

Sudden, loud noise would bother you because in ptsd the persons inbuilt alert system is on all the time and also ramped up. Hypervigilance.

You are normal op :) you are normal with ptsd

Not at the moment it isn't, my therapist is off sick so at the moment my brain is like 'He's got covid. It's not the flu, it's covid, he's going to die and the last thing you ever said to him was that his haircut was dodgy and he should've let his wife do it.' So at the moment he is just another source of stress. He's been ill for less than a week and seems to be recovering and my brain is already stressing that I can't remember his postcode to send a condolences card.

Compared to my brain, yours is downright logical.

I think its more to do with adrenaline response than the noise itself. We're on such high alert for danger that when something makes us jump our body is like OMG I TOLD YOU SO, DANGER! RUUUN!

I've developed a thing where I don't like people standing too near me either. I don't like to be able to smell their perfume or scent. Unless they are my safe people, so my physio or therapist. Them I'd crawl into their pockets and hide if I could. It's a weird thing, it's not logical. My trauma involved someone I knew well so it really doesn't make sense.

I have the heightened startle reflex when I'm triggered. I'm very on edge and anything can make me jump. Toast popping up from the toaster or other sudden noises. I have C-PTSD and when that's triggered I'm very jumpy.

I don't really get the people being close to me as a trigger, just noises. I had to take the doorbell off my door as I could hear people approach and would jump out of my skin when they rang the bell, even though I knew it was going to happen. I have a door knocker now.

That video of Jackie Weaver was a trigger for me and caused me to really jump because of the shouting. I can't deal with shouting. I start to shake and panic (abusive childhood).

Aw thanks all. I jump at the toaster too and now it makes sense! Thing is, tbh I feel a bit of a "wuss" because what I went through compared to fellow sufferers was probably nothing.

Long story short, my ex-husband was abusive in every way except physically and he's done some terrible things.

But so many people say "Well it's seven years on, you've left, it's time to get over him" or "He didn't ever hit you so it's not really abuse" and "Move on with your life" etc. My goodness, I wish it was that easy.

The control has continued for years but I think to myself well how can it be PTSD "just" because of this?

I feel like I'm weak or something.

No, you are not weak, op.

Think of it like this: PTSD occurs when your mind and body work overtime to protect you from danger - basically, they've become too good at it.

Insensitive idiots who think and the TELL you should be over it, really don't have a clue. They speak from a shocking (and enviable) level of ignorance. Either they've never experienced abuse so have no concept of its impact, or they have and are so deep in denial that they're projecting their own fears onto you.

You know what? It's your life, not theirs. Your experience, not theirs. Trauma does take years to recover from, and recovery isn't linear either.

I don't like to assume, but id guess that after years of psychological abuse you are learning not to minimise what you went through, because minimisation was part of the abuse?

If so this will make you vulnerable to others who minimise your experiences, although they may do so from a benign place.

You are moving on with your life, but it's not like changing jobs! The process becomes part of your life.

If they don't understand this then they are in for a tough time when life deals them a curve ball and I hope they don't ever know real tragedy.

Are being formally diagnosed with ptsd now? Regardless if yes or no, you might well look back on this time and realise it was a turning point because it will hopefully bring you clearer nsight into who you are and why you feel the way you do.

And once you've got that, you can choose how to grow.

I have complex PTSD and psychosis due to traumatic childhood events and domestic violence.
I was put onto citalopram and that controls the hallucinations and the PTSD symptoms.
Because of covid my therapy has not happened yet so I buy PTSD workbooks off Amazon and do those and they really do help. They give you insight into your condition and help you to work through your symptoms and get an understanding of the condition, self help is really important.
I go bananas if anyone walks up the stairs behind me, I have to wait until the stairs are empty before I go up, it makes the underground interesting in non covid times.
You can get better, I have come on in leaps and bounds since starting medication.

You are very far from weak if you consider even soldiers get rotated off the front line during wars.

Domestic abuse is constant, relentless and can continue even after the relationship ends - of course the effects are even more far-reaching.

Try everything until you find a mix of support tools that works for you, and occasionally retry - sometimes tools that didn’t work at one stage of recovery might work better later on)

I think you are very brave, to have survived, to have escaped, and to still be going, working on making on your life the best it can be, that’s bravery, and hard work, and determination.