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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

Sad and alone

15 replies

Picktionary · 07/02/2021 22:37

I am a rubbish failed human. I dont want to be alive. Ungrateful as well as failure. I hate myself so much. Im also too old for this.i camt escape this horrid brain. I am too weak to fight my negativity. I hate myself. I dont have any parents or close siblings. I cant keep going to my friends with negativity. Pills dont help. I cant be helped. I cant be happy or function properly.

OP posts:

Original poster

Picktionary · 07/02/2021 22:47

I am going to sleep now. Thank you for reading. Goodnight

OP posts:

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 07/02/2021 23:00

Hi Picktionary

We're so sorry to hear you're feeling so low at the moment. When we see threads like this we usually pop in with a link to our Mental Health Webguide which might be of some help.

We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health boards where there are lots of helpful posters who have been where you are now and may well have support and advice to offer.

We hope you get a good night's sleep and things look a little brighter in the morning.

shouldreallynamechangemore · 07/02/2021 23:03

I have felt like you do, OP. I don't feel like that now. At the time I didn't think change was possible. It felt never ending. Can you remember a time when you felt differently?

Original poster

Picktionary · 08/02/2021 16:47

I am not sure what to do.

OP posts:

lightand · 08/02/2021 16:52

Do you have a church or group that could help you, so you dont feel like you are burdening individuals?

Or is it a case of, friends are happy to help, but you think you shouldnt ask them?

AlwaysLatte · 08/02/2021 16:55

If I had a friend who felt that way I'd really want to know, and wouldn't feel burdened at all. Do keep in touch with them. It's pretty bleak weather too which doesn't help, I'm sure. I hope things look brighter for you soon.

Original poster

Picktionary · 08/02/2021 19:56

There is nothing they can do. I am beyond help.

OP posts:

Original poster

Picktionary · 08/02/2021 19:57

Its all in my hands i am too weak to help myself.

OP posts:

DK123 · 08/02/2021 20:01

OP please make an appointment with tour GP. Anyone can find themselves feeling like this and there is help available. People on here would love to be able to help but there's only so much MNetters can do to help. The best start is to speak to your GP and ask if there's any medication they can give you and which services they can put you in touch with

Sunbird24 · 08/02/2021 20:17

OP as long as you are still breathing it is not too late to escape this hole. One of the problems with depression is that it tries to convince you that it’s incurable. Often quite successfully too, but it really isn’t true.
You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by seeing your dr and trying some things. Please do just give it a go

lightand · 08/02/2021 21:17

Just checking that you are not on your period, or coming up to an anniversary/bereavement time.
All or any of those things can be a big problem, and lower mood, understandably a lot.
Or have you done something recently that you regret, and that is why you feel like a failure?

Would you like to tell why you are feeling as you are?

Original poster

Picktionary · 09/02/2021 16:11

I appreciate your comments. I am too ashamed and hate myself too much and so far down the well i cannot be helped I feel. I went to the GP and upped dosage and booked therapist appt. Its not going to help as I just want to not exist. I am doing rubbish at work and worried about parenting and nothing ever helps me. I cant do it well. I think I should just quit and apply for a basic job or something. I dont know. I just want to give up. I am not good at anything at all. I am a terrible person.

OP posts:

lightand · 09/02/2021 16:50

I went to the GP and upped dosage and booked therapist appt

Good. Well done you.

I would wait before thinking about quitting job or anything else.
Many years ago, I got depression for a brief time. I worked out eventually that I should only consider what to get for tea. All other decisions should and could and did wait, as my thoughts were too jumbled up.

User2847473 · 09/02/2021 20:11

I felt like this last week op. Its okay, you will not always feel like this. It is hard to see but they are thoughts and feelings and not facts. Just focus on getting through an hour. Sometimes it is okay to feel like not wanting to exist and not up to the pressure of life. Remember you are doing okay. Try saying to yourself I am doing okay at work and I am doing okay as a parent. You sound very stressed about work, maybe take some pressure off, just focus on what has to be done. Its hard at the moment with social distancing. Dont feel bad about sharing with how you are feeling.

Bluesername · 09/02/2021 20:50

Don't give up OP, I know it's so hard but you can make it through this. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

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