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Feeling done and dead inside - hand hold please

8 replies

thatdarncat · 05/02/2021 16:07

Utterly done with this. Stuck indoors every day with my two children who despise me and hate lockdown learning. Only go out to work as a key worker (no key worker place for mine as no one to do school drop offs and pick ups). I cannot cope. I’m missing meals, my house is cluttered with dirty clothes that I can’t get washed as my kids don’t give me a minute, the constant demands, papers strewn all over the place, routine has went to shit, they can’t get up in the mornings, I have to drag myself out of bed as can’t sleep for anxiety. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up and have dark thoughts constantly but I know if I wasn’t here my kids wouldn’t have a proper parent. Husband works away and drifts in and out of the family home in his own happy bubble, tbh it can be just as worse when he’s here. My 5 year old who missed out on so much nursery/early years education has fell behind and cannot even add one number to another, her reading is non existent. She has no attention span with me. I’m getting more and more impatient and feel like I’m slipping down a pit. I’m developing a tremor that I used to have as a child with anxiety back then, and my youngest is developing a tic when she gets things wrong or doesn’t know the answer. My heart races all the time and I’m crying so much. I hate all the be kind shite as I have never felt so lonely, the same friends who post quotes such as “my door is always open/phone me anytime/I always have coffee/wine/biscuits” yet go offline on messenger or WhatsApp when you say hello. I am so worried about my kids future and how they are going to catch up. I worry that they are going to look back on these times with bad memories but can’t stop myself being miserable and feel physically unable to be positive about anything. I put my heart and soul into trying to be positive and home schooling to the best of my ability last year and I have nothing left to give now. I honestly feel like things will never get better. I am existing and not living.

OP posts:
Toocold · 05/02/2021 16:14

You sound depressed, have you managed to get you and the kids outside? I think just leaving the house for the dreaded walk helps, even if it’s for five minutes as it’s a change of scenery although I do understand how overwhelming that feels when you’re struggling mentally. If it helps when I can’t get motivated to sort stuff I start with something easy and then I feel like I want to do the rest but it’s the initial starting that is so difficult. I know you said one is 5, how old is your other child?

HesterShaw1 · 05/02/2021 16:16

Just here holding your hand and sending flowers Flowers

It feels never ending, but it will end x One hour at a time - hang on.

thatdarncat · 05/02/2021 16:21

My other child is 7. The weather is shit and freezing atm (been like that the past few weeks), we’ve been out twice in the last month for a walk and to the park. Can’t get to supermarkets either as they cannot behave in shops and my nerves are shot with them, so got to rely on online shops (difficult to get) and using up everything in the cupboards.

OP posts:
Notagiant · 05/02/2021 16:37

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speaksofty · 05/02/2021 16:48

You poor love, you are not alone. Op have you considered talking to the GP, it sounds like your anxiety levels are too high for one, and maybe a chat with the school and tell them what you have told us?
If the children can go to school, you can then have the space and time to organise your house, get on top of things? Your children deserve a school space, and I am sure your school would want to help.

Dh could maybe book some time off if there is not a school space, you get the house cleaned and tidied from top to bottom. Stock the cupboards with easy to cook meals, and make a plan for the next two weeks for the children's schooling. He really needs to be helping now op.

Failing that I would book a cleaner, and order a ton of cook food that simply needs heating up. If you can't manage op, you need help in whatever form it takes. Cleaning help, Cooking help and some support.

I am sorry your friends are so crap, but it might be that they too are struggling even if they are not talking about it. Flowers for you op.

soniamumsnet · 05/02/2021 17:06

Sorry to hear you're feeling down @thatdarncat. Here is a link to our Mental health webguide with some useful suggestions. Flowers

Toocold · 05/02/2021 18:54

I’m really sorry you’re having such a tough time and I really hope things get easier for you very soon 💐

Cornetttttto · 10/02/2021 20:42

Your hubby needs to step up. Not acceptable for him to leave your floundering.

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