Help

[freckles20]

I know anyone who has a child with poor mental health would struggle.

But I can't cope. I'm not handling this at all. I wish I was able to end my own life because I can't cope with how it's making me feel.

I know this is unbelievably selfish and awful, not normal and an overreaction.

I want to be able to exist, to cope because my wonderful boy needs me.

But right now I wish I was dead.

I've got some antidepressants from my GP but I'm afraid to take them in case they push me over the edge that I feel close to, and because I desperately want to be able to support DS when he needs me.

Hey :). The best thing I can say is that if your GP has suggested you take them, it's surely worth a go! Side effects are usually gone quite quickly, many people don't get them at all!

You may read stories online about people complaining about side effects, but for every person who suffers, I'd say 100 probably don't. We're just more likely to post when we're struggling!

With regards to feeling worse and maybe being pushed over the edge .. anxiety can increase a little, but again, not always by any means! Suicidal feelings are very rare as a side effect.

Unfortunately everyone has different side effects on antidepressants. Some find them intolerable, some (like me) have annoying but quick clearing side effects, and many people find that the only side effect is feeling calmer, more able to cope - and often happier!

Give it a go. You can always stop if it's unbearable. Keep in touch with your GP about how it's going. And keep in touch with us here too. You can PM me if you want :). If it helps.

Xx

Thank you for replying.

I think maybe I will try them. Maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones who has fewer side effects.

I'm worried I'll feel more suicidal or be unable to support DS if I feel really awful. Oh to feel more optimistic!

Which antidepressants have you been prescribed op?

Is it worth raising your concerns about how you feel and the risks associated with taking them of it's playing on your mind?
Sending hugs op x

@Henio I've been prescribed sertraline starting at 50mg per day.

@mrsdiddlydoo thank you for your reply. I did talk my worries over with my GP. He was really nice but just kept listing possible side effects and saying it's not possible to know how an individual will react.

I know that if it's hellish then I can stop, and the effects will subside. But I worry about causing further lasting effects for DS if I'm not able to support him at this time, even for a short while.

I honestly would encourage you to give them a try, if you have really bad side effects they'll wear off quickly when you stop the medication. You may initially feel the same or slightly worse but give them a few weeks and hopefully they'll be having some positive effects on you. Do you get any support to help with your ds?

Thanks @Henio, I've decided to give them a go and I really hope they might help.

School have been amazing. They have said he should not worry about online work if he's struggling. A teacher calls him weekly for a download, and he's been given support from school counsellor. Unfortunately this is only six sessions. I also sorted him a private therapist but he asked to stick with school counsellor instead. This really upset me as I felt the private one offered more hope- but I know it needs to be his decision and so I have been outwardly supportive.

I'm finding it all so hard as no one is actually able to share anything with me. I know logically that confidentiality is important, and TBH maybe I couldn't cope with more info at the moment. But it is very hard and confusing.

@freckles20 its great the he is engaging with his school counsellor, thats a really positive step, hopefully when his sessions have finished he'll possibly want to give the private one a go if he finds it benefits him 🙂 I hope the antidepressants don't give you too many side effects x