I want to try Cilatopram but am worried that increased anxiety will be unmanageable. Tips, handhold or experiences needed.

[freckles20]

I've been prescribed cilatopram today. I've struggled with depression for a long while but thought I was coping.

Over the last two weeks I've realised DS (14) has major mental health struggles. School stepped in and although I've had few details due to confidentiality I do know he feels very low and thinks about suicide.

This has broken me. I know anyone would be upset but I've found myself paralysed by fear and anxiety. I want to support him desperately but I've fallen apart and feel so very guilty. I'm so hoping maybe these pills can make a situation that feels like the end of the world more manageable?

I've had dark thoughts and sometimes feel the only way to stop this awful feeling is to be dead. It makes me wish I was dead. I'd never act on this, but it's a terrifying feeling.

I'd love to be able to cope better with all this. Mainly so I can set a good example to DS and maybe offer him some help- not that he wants to do anything with me at his age....

So I have this prescription but I'm so worried that it will make my anxiety and fear worse. I'm already struggling to function and I don't want to be worse as DS needs me on decent form.

Can anyone understand how I feel and offer any advice?

I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope things get better for you. Just from personal experience what I will say is, I started citalopram last summer for crippling anxiety. I didn't take it for depression but for anxiety and it has completely changed my life. I'm no longer crippled by fear and constantly wracked with worry and anxiety. I can do things now that I'd never have dreamed about before. The only thing I will say is, I was utterly exhausted for the first month of taking them but that passed and again, I feel more awake now than ever. But different medication works differently for everyone. My friend takes sertraline as Citalopram didn't work for her. I suppose you can only give it a try.

Thanks @CharlieandStella. I'm pleased this worked out well for you that's fantastic.

Can I ask a bit more about how exhausted you were to start with? I've cut down my work but have to do a few hours each day and it's outdoors and tiring as it is.

I have a wonderful DH but he works very long hours.

I'll have to be able to keep things nice for DS, I'm worried that he will feel unsupported and left alone if I'm too tired and anxious to keep things nice, be available, cook for us etc..

I took Sertraline a couple of years ago after a few months of depression, and was on it for about 8 months. The first couple of weeks were horrendous. I had a lot of side effects and my ex had to look after our son for a week because I couldn’t. After a couple of weeks the side effects eased and after 6 weeks it was like someone turned on a switch and I felt happy again. I had some minor side effects throughout, but I felt better enough to stick with it.

I started taking Citalopram 4 weeks ago. I had 2 weeks where I felt low and a bit ‘flat’; a little worse than I had been feeling, but not much. There were a couple of nights when I didn’t get much sleep. I felt tired in the day and it was hard to focus on work or pull my thoughts together. But otherwise I was fine. After 2 weeks all the side effects disappeared and I feel great. The anxiety and depression have disappeared, but I still feel connected to my feelings.

After the experience I had with Sertraline I put off starting Citalopram for ages and now I wish I hadn’t stuck with Sertraline for so long.

I’m sure other people will have had the opposite experience. It seems to be quite a personal thing. My advice would be to plan to take a couple of weeks sick leave so you can focus on looking after yourself while you adjust, stay in touch with your GP and ask to change/adjust your dose if needed, and get your DH to step up with supporting your DS until you’re feeling better. Fit your own oxygen mask first and all that.

I hope you’re feeling better soon.

Hey :)

You never know how you're going to react to new meds, and just because it's a known side effect (even a common one!) doesn't mean you'll get it.

I was so nervous about taking sertraline for exactly the same reason and increased anxiety wasn't one of the side effects I had whatsoever (other than being anxious about potential side effects but that was all me not the tablets haha).

@freckles20 I was very tired, DH had to shoulder most things and I wasn't very interested in eating but I probably could have pushed myself to do a few hours a day provided I rested in between. But once the exhaustion side effect had worn off things were so much better, I'm rarely tired now!

Thanks everyone.

It's a really tough call. I can't afford to be unable to function. I don't want DS to feel that I'm letting him down after he's been so brave to begin facing his troubles.

For me, first day I felt abit elated, second day I had the poos, then not much else for 4 weeks, think I was on 10mg / day.

Dr doubled dosage to 20mg, but my body didn't like it... felt like I was totally detached from everything, no emotion, no anxiety, nothing, abit like having a veil between you and rest of world.

Dr switched me to Escitilopram (more expensive / more refined version) which was magic.. took away all the side effects.