Are antidepressants pointless if I have a major problem that can't be solved

[Calyptus76]

I think I've been struggling with depression for a few years. But I've coped and muddled along, blaming it on tiredness, new job, life stress etc..

For the past two weeks I've been floored by the realisation that my 14 year old DS is desperately struggling with life. I had no idea that he was struggling prior to this. School has been helpful, and sorted him some counselling, but it's uncovered the fact that he feels down to the point of thinking about suicide. I'm desperately trying to help him but he's unwilling to talk (I found out about how down he is as they had to share that with me, but they haven't shared anything else), and it's been the worst and most terrifying two weeks of my life.

It's kicked me into realising that I am depressed and I want to see if taking some ADs might help.

But I'm not sure if there is any point? Can I actually be helped if the main issue is DS and I've no control over how he feels?

I'm blaming myself for allowing him to slip into depression. I've not been a good role model recently when it comes to self care, get up and go, motivation etc.. I want to change this.

Most of all I want to be able to function better and be a more positive person so that I can support him and hopefully help him in any way that he will let me.

I'm also worried about any side effects of ADs- I don't want to struggle to function even for a short while, because DS needs me to be able to keep things ticking over, cook decent meals, feel balanced etc..

I hope all this makes some sense.

they can certainly help put you in a much stronger and level position which in turn helps you deal with other stressors going on in your life. any side effects I've encountered have been quite short lived and minor such as feeling a bit dizzy for a couple of days, but nothing too bad.

So sorry that you are experiencing this... but It sounds like your depression is long standing and your DC's issues are more recent. Perhaps AD's might help you to see the situation more clearly and feel more positive that things can be better? Lots of young people have episodes of mental illhealth and many do get better. You don't have control over how they feel it is true... but you could have more strength and energy to signpost them to the things that could help. You may have no side effects at all... and even if you do you can come off of them. Remember, you might need to try more than one.

You’ve tried without medication but it seems like nows a good time to try taking it.

You won’t be unable to function, they take weeks to work and then the side effects aren’t too bad for most people and they wear off and you just feel better, calmer and have more energy.

If they help you to be a better role model then they will be worth it.

You would wear glasses if your eyesight needed improved to read, so why not take tablets to improve your brain chemistry to have a happier life.

It’s worth a try and perhaps if your dc needs to take medication it may help to see youve taken that step yourself and feel much more balanced.

Good luck.

It’s interesting that you say that you think you might have had depression for years but then say you’re not sure of the point in taking them. Because it’s realising that your son is down that is making you depressed. It feels like you have possibly minimised your previous depression. I can’t say whether you should take them but talking to your GP would be a good place to start. Maybe some CBT if they offer that.

Thank you all for your thoughtful and kind responses. It sounds like maybe it's worth a try.

This is all so hard and I so wish I'd addressed it before now.

Op, I’m in a similar position. My daughter has anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. Along with everything else going on in my life, I just felt completely overwhelmed, negative, to blame for everything and had daily headaches and migraines almost weekly. I was finally prescribed Citalopram and it has honestly changed my life. If I’m in a better place I’m able to be a much stronger support to my family. Please give it a go. Wishing you all the best.

I remember when facing redundancy and my jobseeking induced depression was so bad that I was getting insomnia I did have a low dose of antidepressents. It didn't solve the jobseeking but I could sleep and therefore was able to deal with my current daily life a lot better. Depression is a lot worse with sleep deprivation.

Hope you get some solution that works for you soon.

Thank you for these posts. They have kept me going.

I have today called the GP who was lovely and suggested a few things including cilatopram.

I feel a bit hopeful, until I remember that nothing I take will take the issues that DS is facing away.

But maybe they might help me to cope a bit better. So I'm going to try.

GP said it was 12 years ago that i last tried to take antidepressants and that they were escilatopram (not sure how to spell it) which are quite different to the new ones so here's hoping.

 to anyone going through difficult times, @midnightbluevelvet your post has made me feel a chink of hope.

I was on 10mg amyltriptaline that I took 2 hours before bedtime. I could sleep but the side effects were increased thirst and difficulty getting up in the morning.