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Fed up and it's only been 7months

1 reply

cosmikdebris · 01/02/2021 14:16

Everyone says I should enjoy this stage. She's so well behaved for her grandparents and behaves when we're out, but the second we get home she fusses and wriggles and shouts and doesn't sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time.
A month ago she was having 2 naps a day, sleeping through the night, eating on time and progressing great through tummy time. It's like the second she hit 7months shit hit the fan. She sleeps at night with 3 he intervals. She'll also wake up for 2-3 hours at 4am. She hates her cot and will only sleep in bed with me or in her buggy.
Partner/dad is useless, he did the night shift for the first time in weeks last night and he's already had a go at me and shouted because he's exhausted. He won't listen to me when I say 'that's how I feel every day' because I go to bed when baby does so I get more sleep, but he stays up for an extra few hours playing games. He's so stubborn.

I'm exhausted, I'm so stressed. I barely get time to eat, because I don't get time to wash up and there's always dirty plates and pans, again my partner does absolutely nothing. He always says he will help with housework but never does.
I never have clean clothes and baby is always running low, because again, I can't keep up.

I've had so many straight up talks with him but it never changes. I love him to pieces when he's at his best, and he really helps to bring me up sometimes, he's just unaware of what having a clean and tidy house even means.

With him being useless, alongside constant pain and aches from not sleeping properly, alongside my standard anxiety and depression. I'm so so so done and I don't know how to fix it. I don't see anything getting better, all I see is me going insane, a relationship breakdown and my baby growing up to hate me because I struggle to look after her. I really don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'mum' thing. I miss my old life, I miss sleep and fresh meals and clean clothes, I miss not having terrible skin and aches and pains 24/7. I never thought I'd feel like my life is over aged 21.

I know this is a relationship problem, but there's absolutely no way I can be a single mum. Maybe in a few years when baby's grown up a little. But now it's impossible to me. I'm lost.

OP posts:
mrsdiddlydoo · 01/02/2021 21:24

Hi @cosmikdebris Being a parent... A mum... Is hard work. 7 months in, the initial adrenaline of becoming a parent has well and truly worn off and the sleepless nights have caught up with you. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been having a baby in this pandemic when it's harder to catch up with people or meet other new mums at baby groups. You are doing a fab job. A lack of sleep makes everything difficult. You are just as important as your baby. You are worth as much as your baby.
I think you need to try to get your partner to do a regular night shift. If that's not a possibility can he take her out for a long walk regularly so you can have a nap and some space. A bath. Or can the grandparents have her for half a day?
Housework can wait. She doesn't care about the dishes.
You know your usual level of anxiety, but if you feel things are getting too much please touch base with your gp. xx

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